


I Hate Everything About You...

by Aquaria



Category: Supernatural
Genre: BAMF Castiel (Supernatural), BAMF Dean Winchester, Blackmail, Businessman Dean Winchester, Cas and Dean hanging at the sea, Castiel is Claire Novak's Parent, Castiel is a Dad, Dean and Castiel are both tormented men, Enemies to Lovers, Fighting Rings, Forced Marriage, Homophobia, Honeymoon, Human Castiel, Kid Claire Novak, Lawyer Sam Winchester, Mobsters, Multi, NO rape, Past Child Abuse, Rebellious Sam Winchester, Religious Fanaticism, Sassy Castiel, Teacher Castiel (Supernatural), Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-27
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:40:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 75,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25554460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aquaria/pseuds/Aquaria
Summary: “It’s very simple: I can’t forgive someone humiliating me, only my family can get away with that kind of defiance. A rat defying me would get crushed, I could only drag them in the mud and leave them bleeding on the ground to remind everyone who I am, but I could forgive my future husband some bad words.”AU. In New York City, the Winchester family is well-known for being important businessmen, and Dean inherited it all, becoming respected and feared. When Castiel Novak, an insignificant school teacher stood up to him and offend him publicly, Dean promises he would make him pay while also finding himself attracted to him.Confrontation ensues between the two, and when Dean's company is accused of homophobia because of false rumors, Dean decide a marriage with another man could be the best solution. He decide to give Castiel a choice: either help him and marry him or be broken. With a daughter to take care of, Castiel finds himself with no other choice but to accept.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Jessica Moore/Sam Winchester
Comments: 128
Kudos: 101





	1. First Encounter

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, the plot was heavily inspired by two other fics, th first one titled Money Can't Buy Love by JamesHope. it wasn't my type of fic, but the idea was interesting, though my story will be different, I still wanted to credit the author for giving me the idea.  
> The second one was a one-shot titled Living Dead by psyleedee, and which I really recommend.
> 
> That fic is also for a friend who kinda challenged me to write Destiel. 
> 
> It's my first Supernatural fic, hope you'll like it!
> 
> English isn't my first language, don't hesitate to point out mistakes and review of course!

_The Blue Jungle_

That was the nightclub’s name, and it always made Dean smile whenever he would see the blue neons. It wasn’t the most popular place of the town, but it would be one day. He saw the people waiting to get in, and it sent a wave of nostalgia, remembering the time he would also stand in the queue when he was young, at the time his father still had to fight his way through to reach the top of New York. Today, he could get in whenever he wanted, after all, he owned that place.

It was indeed, blue and green plants and flowers, some real some fake, some painted on the walls and some hanging from the ceiling, giving a thick and rich decor. Some pedestals were spread across the dance floor were professional dancers would do their show, in exotic outfits. It was no strip-club; they would never take off anything, but it was suggestive. The whole thing gave a chill, mysterious vibe Dean always liked. One girl disguised as a tigress was especially attractive, just like that new guy working at the bar. He didn’t know either of their names, but he didn’t care about it.

He was proud as he looked around, and a bit sad too. Proud because that place had degraded, a bad management almost sent it bankrupt, and Dean had bought it in time to get it back on trails. Now it was rising again, and it was starting to be a high-ranking club again. But he was also a bit sad because the place had lost some of its charm. Before, there was something truly warm in the club, it would make you feel happy. He had brought Sam here when he had been old enough, he remembered his shy little brother nervous and excited to get in…

_Don’t think of Sam_. But he couldn’t help himself and it stung each time.

Today, it was more superficial, a bit colder, the warm atmosphere had been smothered by the glitter. But maybe that could change eventually, and at least they still served wonderful drinks!

He smiled when he saw Jo, the manager, coming toward him. She had been doing a damn good job for now, he knew he could trust her to handle things here. He admired her frame, in other circumstances, he would have probably made a move on her, but he knew he had to separate sex and work. She was a good worker and he didn’t want to loose an employee like her over a simple one-night stand.

“I see you’re still rocking that place,” he told her.

“Yeah, you can say that. Our new DJ is gaining more and more popularity, I’m glad I got that one. It hadn’t been easy to get him to leave his previous club for us, but as you see, I got what I wanted.”

“Now, that’s the kind of words I like to hear from a manager!

She huffed in amusement: “Thanks! Mr Roman is waiting for you.”

“Ah yeah, the guy with a fitting first name.”

They laughed together at this. Dick Roman was indeed worthy of that name, but Dean still had to deal with him. He found the guy sitting at one table and looking at the dancers, eying one in particular. He took his attention away as Dean approached and stood up to shake hands with him.

“Ah Mr Winchester! I’m happy you could come.”

“Of course I could; I hope you enjoy this humble place.”

“Indeed. I’m curious to know why you would buy it, it has no link to your field of business.”

“Oh, I’m simply fond of it.”

Indeed, he was in the technology field, high-tech surveillance systems, computers and phones, and Dick Roman knew how it could be of use. As a casino owner and a mobster, he knew that Dean could give him a lot of information which he could use. They discussed a bit but went in Jo’s office to talk business. No one had to hear what they would say.

Truth to be told, Dean didn’t like to deal with the mob; he knew damn well that those were dangerous water. Yet no high business in this city could really escape it. You had to find the delicate balance between dealing with them without getting too close. His father had always warned him that it was just like a fire in a cold night. If you stay far away from it, you’ll die from the cld. Get too close and you get burned. _Don’t ever think they’re your true friends, Dean. They’ll only keep you around out of interest. But always remember they’re only human. They have their weaknesses._ He had to fear them reasonably, not let himself be intimidated but remember to be wary. He always remembered that with Dick Roman.

It didn’t really take long to conclude their new deal. He would have to see someone else, not a mobster this time, simply his advertising agent. They would sometimes talk business around a drink, to change from the office’s atmosphere. He still wasn’t here, though, and he’d better have a good explanation! Didn’t matter much however, Dean could still enjoy a drink, and maybe get some companion for the night. He didn’t want to stay alone tonight. In fact, the idea of coming back home to an empty place was making sick recently. He had tried keeping people for longer, men or women, but it never worked. Either he couldn’t get attached, either he realized that they were only here for the money. So he would hardly ever keep anyone for more than a night or two.

He looked at the crowd when he spotted something unusual. What the…How did that guy got in here?

**O o O**

It was Castiel’s first night out since his daughter was born. At least his first night of real fun, not one spent on gaining some money. His colleagues had insisted for him to come with them the day before, to celebrate the summer break and their success. The private school they worked in had reached a better rank thanks to their efforts, and they were becoming popular among the rich people of the town. If they continued on that way, they could be in the Top schools of the city.

They had picked him up at his house, and he hoped Claire wouldn’t miss him. Anna, Lexie and Zach were here, excited already. He had paid a baby-sitter for the night, one he trusted, yet he couldn’t help but worry.

“Come on, she’ll be fine, it’s not the first time,” Lexie told him.

“Yeah, but I can’t help it.”

“I know, but you must learn to stop over-worrying.”

They started to drive, and Castiel decided to follow her advice. “You should have made an effort, this is a quite high-ranking club, I’m not sure they’ll let you in!” Anna remarked.

“What? I thought we were going to a regular place.”

“You’re kidding? We’re getting close to the elite of New York, it’s a good reason to party in a special place!” Zach exclaimed.

Maybe, but Castiel wasn’t that excited to be ‘close to the elite’. Actually they weren’t even that close to it, even though they were on right way. He was fine working into a normal school, what he wanted was high-education standard, he just wished those wouldn’t be reserved to rich people. But now he guessed that was unavoidable: an education of quality would attract rich people, and the school would have to fit their standards.

“Don’t worry, though, I know the bouncer, he is a friend. Maybe he’ll let you through in spite of that.”

“If he doesn’t we’ll go to another place,” Lexie declared. “I’m not getting anywhere if we can’t be together.”

He smiled to that, she was really sweet. He also knew she had a thing for him, and he had honestly considered it. She would have been a great mother for Claire, she was kind and smart, and he liked her. Yet no matter how he turned it over in his head, he just couldn’t imagine them together, he couldn’t picture the two of them in bed, or being a real couple. He couldn’t picture them in intimacy, and he wouldn’t get involved with her just because she could be a good mother.

They chattered happily, and when they got to the club, Castiel understood what they meant. It looked like a good place indeed, and the people here were dressed-up more than he was. He had dark jeans, along with a black jacket on a white tee-shirt. Well, maybe it would be alright, it was sober but not neglected. They waited in the queue but thankfully their turn came pretty quickly. As Zach said, the bouncer was indeed his friend and greeted him with enthusiasm. He looked at Castiel up and down and shook his head at first.

“Sorry, Zach, that one won’t do.”

“Come on, man, he doesn’t look bad, it’s just plain clothes. And with his face, the women inside will be happy.”

“Yeah, just this once, can’t it be possible?” Lexie asked with her doe eyes.

He finally accepted and made an exception, but he warned Castiel that it would be the last time. Weirdly enough, he felt happy; he would have hated to be refused because of his clothes. He marveled a bit at first, he had never been in such a club before, not only it was huge, but the whole décor was pretty impressive. There had been a lot of effort put in here, it wasn’t just the usual local bars he would sometimes go in. Some people did look at him, and he snorted.

“I guess those rich asses wonder what a guy like me is doing here,” he told Anna at her ear.

“Maybe some of them does,” she replied, “but I bet some other wonder how they can get their way with you.”

He laughed at this and blushed a bit. He was aware he attractive, but he never considered himself as the kind who could make people stop their tracks. They got drinks and it didn’t take long for them to go to the dance floor.

In spite (or maybe thanks to) his plain clothes, he danced without caring what others would think. After all, if they judged him already, why should he give a damn? He danced along with Lexie, letting his body move freely, remembering the time he was still careless and innocent. So he allowed the music to fill him, allowed to lose himself in the movements, in the flickering lights, just following the rhythm, and thinking of nothing else. He was almost in some kind of vertigo, people around hardly mattered, he was feeling good and it was all he knew.

He was absolutely not aware of the one watching him.

From where he was, Dean Winchester was just staring at the crowd while enjoying his drink, when the dark-haired man had caught his eye. He stood out in the crowd: he looked like he was going out for groceries, not to dance in a night-club like _the Blue Jungle_. Curious, Dean went to sit at the bar, a lot of people noticed him, looked at him and whispered: they knew who he was. The dark-haired man didn’t. He watched the little group, but more of all, he watched that beautiful brunet dancing. He was even surprised he had been allowed to enter, they would usually not let guys dressed like this come in. But well, he was very handsome, Dean was glad his bouncer had been generous enough with that one. He was…Entrancing. There was something breath-taking about that man; those dark hair, those traits, but not only. Dean had seen a lot of people who were incredibly beautiful, but he had something else. That way he was moving, as if nothing mattered…He hardly seemed to care about the woman dancing with him, while most men would have tried something.

Smiling, he hoped that meant the unknown man wasn’t into females. But weirdly enough, it didn’t seem to be like that. He seemed into his own world, and it just made him stand out even more in that crowd. Dean ordered himself a drink and allowed himself to silently watch the man. What was his name? Well, there was only one way to find out.

He strolled toward him, and the man finally saw him. At this moment, Dean felt as if he received an electric shock when the unknown man put his eyes on him. But this instant didn’t last, the dark-haired man took the girl he was dancing with by the hand and led her somewhere else.

What?! Did that guy just got away from him?

Without thinking, Dean tried to follow them, but the whole mass of people soon got in his way. He lost the black-haired stranger, and it stung as he thought of those eyes. He hadn’t even seen which color they were. Wait, he could go at one of the balconies were tables awaited. From there, he would be able to see the crowd and find him.

He went up the stairs, ignoring the people who tried to talk to him. Until one actually grabbed his arm and stopped him in his tracks. The grasp was light, but enough to stop him.

“Boss! I’m so sorry, I’m late, I got caught in the traffic.”

He looked at Marc, his advertising agent, as if he was some kind of alien before remembering they had been supposed to meet. He really got the worst timing!

“Well it was about time!”

The discussion wasn’t exactly a joyride for the poor guy, Dean was frustrated he couldn’t just search for the man, yet he restrained himself; Business would come first, he could find that dude later. Something bothered him greatly, though: why did that guy ran away from him like that? He hadn’t seen him in the past, he was sure of it.

He spent more time he wished with Marc but made the effort, not that he disliked him, but he was really distracted. It was the first time it happened, usually, when he and Marc would discuss business around a drink, he enjoyed it, nothing would come to distract him like that. His employee left him as soon as they were done, sensing his boss wouldn’t get in a better mood. Dean went through the dance floor but couldn’t find him anymore. Damn! If only they had got the occasion to talk, he would have been able to impress and make him wait nicely! Hell, it had been a long time since he had desired someone that much and it had to be the one slipping away from him!

Usually, he would have simply picked up someone else, and got them home, but here he just wanted to find that guy. Did he really moved away just to get away from him? He had never seen him before, why would he do that?

From the corner of his eyes, Dean saw a man stumbling and crashing against his car. Immediately, he yelled: “Hey, you!” That’s when he realized this was the handsome one. The man turned to him, his eyes slightly wide and looked as if he wondered why the hell Dean just yelled. Softening his tone a bit, Dean growled:

“That’s my car, be care…”

The man let out a laugh and just rolled his eyes, interrupting Dean in the process. “Excuse me, your majesty! Sorry that you car was touched by some peasant!” He declared loudly while bowing to him mockingly, almost falling in the process. Now this made Dean’s blood boil! Who the hell was he to mock him like that?! His boss caught him, the worry sobering her almost immediately.

“Sorry! We’re sorry, sir. He is just a bit out of his mind.”

“Obviously! You’re lucky you didn’t break anything,” Dean growled, angry at him now. Castiel just laughed at that almost bitterly: “Oh, I’m scared! I’m so sorry, Your Highness…”

Anna pulled him harshly, making him shut up and stumble along with her. He just laughed and Dean could swear he heard something like: “Rich dudes I swear!” He gritted his teeth and felt a rage which himself couldn’t explain. When he was home, he was still thinking about it. Why? Because that fucker dared to mock him, that was all. Then, he could almost hear Sam’s voice in his head: “ _Come on, man! It’s not much, that guy was just drunk, we both said stupid stuff while being drunk_.” Once again, thinking about Sam was painful. And it stung to think about that guy, he could still see that body moving without caring about other people’s look, simply and carelessly dressed with no try to appear elegant. Yet he still had more elegance than some people wrapped in thousands dollar suits. And his face, that light smile, this square jaw and those fine eyes…Hell, he still didn’t know what their color was.

He had wanted to go to that guy, but not only he had just left when approached, he also had the nerve to mock him! But now, maybe he was indeed just a drunk man. Maybe he hadn’t even noticed Dean in the club, it was a hazard that he left when he arrived.

He just went to bed, frustrated. He would usually have what he wanted, but not tonight. That guy should have been dazzled by him, by his home and should have been in his bed already. Instead, he had mocked him.

_‘Let’s not think of that anymore. I have work tomorrow.’_

He still wondered what his name was.


	2. The Sensitive Spot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, here is the second chapter, I hope you'll enjoy it!

“Would you come with me? That stupid Gala will be boring, I think you could spice it up.”

Dean smiled tightly at those words, and looked at the woman who pronounced them. Some would say Bela Talbot had class, some would be entranced by her beauty, but to Dean, she was just some politician’s daughter who was really cliché whenever she was trying to seduce someone. In fact, she was pretty much the femme fatale cliché all the time, taking people just for money and power, thinking herself extremely smart when her overconfidence made her commit a lot of mistakes in the past. Dean knew what she wanted: she was just trying to get a rich guy, but she had no feelings for him. Maybe she was attracted to his body, and considered it as bonus.

“What is it for, charity?”

“Not exactly, it’s to fund the best schools of New York, and of course we are trying to give a chance to the more modest but deserving ones.”

“I see what you meant by boring.”

She titled her head and smiled sexily. “So are you coming?”

She really was obvious, that was her problem, he could almost see her brain scheming. Maybe someone more naïve and less experienced would have been fooled, but Dean had seen many women and men like her, the way she acted, smiled and talk…They were all the same, fake and acting, some with more skills than others. But now, that was the counterpart of being rich: you had to deal with that kind of people. But well, he also had interests in that, her family and especially her mother were influent and it wouldn’t be bad to keep good relationship. If she wanted to play the scheming seductress, fine with him, he could also play that game, he wasn’t a stranger to it.

“Of course, I am. It could be interesting.”

“Well, let’s see each other this evening then. I can promise you a really nice sight.”

“I’m impatient.”

Well, not that much, but he hadn’t much to do this evening, so he might as well work on his mundane relationships. He wasn’t very interested in spending time with Bela, her mother and some other people were the real deal. So he put on his suit, not a tuxedo, but a dark blue suit he always liked. He picked up Bela as he was supposed to, gave her black dress an empty praise and went with her.

This was for schools and therefore there were a lot of people he didn’t know, headmasters, teachers, people he wouldn’t usually meet. He could see some had never been to that kind of party, the way they were looking around as if they were in some kind of museum. Yes, there was actually one he remembered, his old head-master. The old man greeted him, he remembered him still, after Dean had been quite the trouble-maker back then. But the old man didn’t seem to resent him much, maybe because unlike a lot of parents, John Winchester didn’t take advantage of his status to have his son excused every time he was screwing up. Nope, when Dean would have detention, John would tell him he should have behaved and punished him further. If he had bad grades, John would tell him to work harder.

_“I thought no one could insult our family,”_ Dean had told John one day, wondering why instead of defending him like other parents, he would give him double punishment when he would get detention.

_“Indeed, and that’s why when you screw up, I don’t expect them to turn a blind eye. They would insult me if they slacked at their job when I trust them with something as important as my sons’ future. I expect them to do their job, to give you a strict and efficient education, just like I do, got it?”_

Today, he knew John was really right, when he saw how many rich heirs and heiresses could barely do anything on their own because their parents were always behind them, he was thankful. As for Sam, he wasn’t even the kind to get detention anyway…

There were also some people he knew already, and of course those people coming for their school were trying to be as agreeable as possible. Bela was at his arm, she was talking about some gossips. That was probably one of the few advantages of being round her: he could at least learn some interesting things which could be used later. Suddenly, his eyes saw a familiar face and he almost gaped.

The thought he had in the club the first time he saw him resonated in his head: How did that guy got in here?

**O o O**

Anna held Castiel’s arm as if she was afraid to fall. Lexie was walking with them, she had came alone, and she liked to joke that it looked like Castiel had one women for each arm. The three of them were nervous, they had never been to that kind of cocktail before, and it was the school’s future was which was at stake. Being a teacher in Middle school wasn’t always easy, but Castiel never thought he would have to do that kind of things. When he remembered where he came from, it was strange to be here.

“I hope nothing will happen to my dress, I must admit it’s a rental,” Lexie whispered to them.

“So is that suit,” Castiel admitted. He wasn’t wearing a Tuxedo, he would have felt too uncomfortable, instead he had a black suit on a white shirt. Plain but elegant, something he had rented as well because his other clothes weren’t expensive enough for that kind of place. Anna smiled, silently telling them she did the same. She was pretty in that green dress and Lexie was also lovely in white, her brown hair cascading over her shoulders. They attracted attention soon enough, Lexie was eventually approached by a young man who flirted with her, looking a bit shy, as if talking to her was taking all his courage. But that was at her liking obviously.

Anna and Castiel let her and her new companion spend some times together. He turned to her: “How does that exactly work?”

“Well, we’ll just talk to people, be nice, and talk a bit about our schools, and at the end of the evening, they’ll decide what they’ll donate.”

“A lot of ass-licking?”

“Come on, Cas’. I took you with me because I know I can trust you, and you’re good-mannered.”

He nodded, it was indeed true that he had always done his best for that. Good manners had been one of the things which truly took him out of the streets he had grown in. 

“Oh hell! Look who is here as well, I didn’t know he would be here!” She whispered in a panicked tone.

“Who?” Then he saw him. The man he had mocked two nights ago: Dean Winchester. He perfectly knew who he was and Castiel wished he could have spat in his face, remembering what happened once because of him. He thought of slipping away, maybe he could leave the party discretely, but at that moment, Dean turned and saw him. From the look he gave him, he had clearly recognized Castiel.

“You have to apologize. To be fair, you weren’t exactly a peach,” Anna murmured.

He knew that, and yet he didn’t feel any guilt. Dean Winchester was the kind who would crush others, so honestly, who cared if he got vaguely offended? And yet he would comply, Anna had put everything into that school, and she had given him an opportunity when he really needed it, when he was jobless with a toddler to rise alone. Also, she had promised that in the future, his daughter would be able to attend their school, without having to pay for the entrance fees. That would be wonderful for her. That was why he had worked so hard, that and the devotion he felt toward his students. So if apologizing to that rich sod was all it took to keep that future, be it.

Before they could make a move toward the man, Dean was advancing on them. Anna gave Cas’ a desperate look and he smiled to the man.

“Good evening to the two of you. I think I already saw you?” His tone could have sounded welcoming, but there was a glint of malice in his eyes.

“Well…We did cross once, at one club. Hum…I think I bumped in your car. I was…”

“Drunk?” Dean deadpanned.

“Yes. I was indeed.”

“We both apologize, Mr Winchester,” Anna said, holding her hand out to Dean. He took it and she went on, hoping that guy had no grudge: “I’m Anna Milton, and this is Castiel Novak, our best teacher.”

“Castiel?” That was definitely an unusual name. But it fitted him. “Your boss shouldn’t have to apologize for you, don’t you think?”

It came out before he could realize it, Castiel couldn’t help himself: “Did I cause your car any damages? I wasn’t aware I could actually break cars with my shoulder!”

Considering Dean Winchester’s look, he knew that little joke wasn’t appreciated. Apparently he didn’t have much humor, time to swallow his spite and pride and try to play nice. “Okay, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do that, it was really the alcohol.”

“And what you told me?” 

He was pushing it. Seriously, did he need to push it? How old was, five? “Yeah, I’m sorry about that too.” He didn’t think any of it, and he feared Dean would see it. Indeed, it didn’t escape him at all. He could feel how fake the apology sounded, the guy was bad liar, and he could hardly hide his spite either, it was obvious in the way he looked at him.

Dean huffed and looked at Anna: “I hope your other colleagues are smarter than that.”

He turned away, and heard the head-mistress ranting at the teacher. He was mad, but when he saw Bela smiling to him, he felt disgusted. Her fake, stupid smile made him want to get out, to just leave that fucking place.

“Where were you, honey?” Her voice was dripping sweetness, so much it was disgusting to him.

He snorted. “Don’t call me like that, we aren’t a couple. I like to make business with you, but we’re clearly not made for each other. Excuse me, will you?”

Without even waiting for her answer, he left her. At least he enjoyed the stunned face she had. He had no remorse; bitch would just find someone more naïve than him. He went to talk to an old couple, the husband was a politician, his dad knew him and they got along pretty well. Dean felt a bit more at ease with them.

On his side, Castiel had noticed the woman who looked upset after Dean Winchester spoke to her. He felt a wave of sympathy for her and went to her.

“Are you alright, Miss?”

She smiled to him and her eyes scanned him from head to toes. Castiel wondered if she was gauging his social status or his physical appearance.

“Thank you for asking, but I can handle myself.”

He got it, he was too poor for her. He looked at Dean Winchester again, at that douchy fake smile and felt another wave of disgust. If the whole evening was filled with people like that…

“Oh and what about your brother, is he still living on the West Coast?” Asked the old woman.

At this, people around went almost silent and Castiel noticed how Dean’s face twitched. Yet the man gathered himself back pretty quickly. “Well, I guess he is. I didn’t have much news recently.”

The short embarrassed silence quickly died, but it had been noticed, except by the old woman who seemed too much in her world to realize. Her husband seemed embarrassed though. “Oh Lord,” the woman at his side whispered leaning toward him discretely, “that old idiot just hit the sensitive spot.”

“What do you mean?”

She turned to him excitedly, with the air of someone who loved to share rumors and gossips. “John Winchester had two sons, you didn’t know? They were both supposed to inherit the company, but the younger one, Sam, he fell in love with some girl his father didn’t approve. John gave him a choice: either he broke up with her, or he would renounce to the family fortune. Believe it or not, but he chose the second option. He and his brother had hardly spoken to each other since that day. From what I know, he and this girl are married and Dean still resent his brother.”

He didn’t know Sam Winchester at all but he felt a wave of sympathy for the guy. It was sad he didn’t meet that brother instead of the other. He didn’t have any more for the woman though, so he excused himself and left her. He went to find back Lexie and Anna. They were discussing with some old politician as well, and Castiel participated. They mostly exchanged polite words, the guy flirting a bit with the two women.

At the same time, Dean had eclipsed to the bathroom discretely. He passed water on his face and looked at his reflection. And at this moment, he wanted to be anything but himself. God, why did he feel like this suddenly? Why did it feel like he was empty? Because someone spoke of Sam. It hadn’t happened since long, it was almost taboo when he or his father had been around. But it wasn’t all, it was part of it, but it wasn’t all.

In an instant, he just had gotten a glimpse of the two types of people he would always meet: those who hated his guts for being rich, and those who would act nice for money. Castiel and Bela…Only four people had loved him sincerely: his parents, Sam and Bobby Singer. But his parents were both dead, and Bobby and Sam had both left.

Even his few friends, they worked for him and therefore would always be careful around him, Jo, Marc, Charlie…Dear God, he really felt lonely. There was no one he could talk to freely.

He took a deep breath, it wasn’t the moment, and he wasn’t some kid crying because nobody liked him!

He got out and tried to brush off this absurd feeling of loneliness and emptiness but he couldn’t. The old hag had spoke of Sam and brought painful memories. He knew she was losing her mind a bit, she was known for that, but he was still mad. He couldn’t attack her, her husband was really important and Dean knew it would be bad to cross that line. Yet he needed something right now, an outlet, because the rage and the pain were here, ready to come out.

He remembered the day Sam left, telling him that it was his problem if he wanted to be dad’s obedient servant, but that he wouldn’t let money hold him back. It had sounded so painful and so much like Sam at the same time. He had only seen his brother at their dad’s burial, and they had hardly spoken to each other, Dean containing all the anger he had toward his brother. But he had also longed badly to reach out to him, to get comfort from him and comfort him in return, he had wished to tell so much to Sam but he never did. It would be two years in a few weeks that his dad died.

The anger was even stronger, he didn’t even really know who he was angry at: the old hag for speaking of Sam? Bela who was trying to go for his money? Or that stupid teacher for his insolence? _No one insults our family_. He saw him speaking with a smile to some people. That Castiel guy was looking like he was having a good time, when he was actually miserable inside! His apologies had more of a mocking than anything. He remembered the way he had bowed to him the other night. What would happen if he pushed that guy? Would he crumble, would he try to get away, would he just shut up and submit? Only one way to know.

He saw him with Anna and another lovely woman talking to a guy he knew, Harold Cavanaugh, a shy young man. Well, he wouldn’t be a problem.

“Let me ask you something, Miss…What’s your name?”

“Anna, Anna Mil…”

“Yeah, yeah, be glad I’m asking your first name already, I usually don’t care. You know you’d rather do a bit more effort if you want to obtain any fund.”

“If you’re saying that because of me…” Castiel started before being interrupted.

“Well, not just you, though you are a burden for those to eye-candies over here. I’m just saying that nobody will get interested in a miserable school like yours. This is a friendly advice, you should give a bit more of your person, though it seems like the little miss over here already started,” he said while looking at Lexie.

Castiel opened his mouth but Anna caught his arm immediately, reminding him to shut up. At this moment, he resented Anna for not letting him defend Lexie. Sure, he wasn’t in love with her, but he liked her, and he didn’t want any guys to disrespect her. He knew she was quite shy, she wouldn’t find the words against this guy. Lexie was pale like she had seen a ghost, and trembling. Harold took her by the arm gently.

“Okay, we’re gonna leave.”

Castiel internally thanked the man for that, and Lexie gladly went away. Dean didn’t say anything else, just looking at Castiel, loving the way he was holding back. He wanted to punch him, that was obvious but he couldn’t and he knew it. It just made him want to push further. He gave a taunting smile to Castiel.

“You see, your school might get something after all. You know, you could actually follow her example, some old ladies around might actually find you attractive enough. And after all, you’re probably cheaper than the usual…”

“Well, maybe it would be a nice change for them to have a guy who doesn’t act like a total douche bag! If they got only guys like you, I pity them!”

He spoke loudly enough to be heard by people around, and Dean felt a cold shiver of surprise and anger. He didn’t expect that little man to reply so openly like this.

“I might only be a regular teacher, but I know how to recognize stupid rich jerks who would be nothing without their money! I imagine your father spent tons on your school fees, well I can tell it was wasted money, you might have been raised by apes! I don’t even wonder why your brother would rather give up all the money and leave…”

“Castiel, enough!”

Anna forcefully pulled him outside and once they were away from everyone, she had to hold herself from slapping him.

“What the hell were you thinking about?! Do you realize what you just cost us?! After what I’ve done for you! And now that I’m asking you to simply hold your tongue, you insult one of the biggest guy of the city! I…I can’t even…”

“Anna, I’m…”

“Don’t say it! Don’t say it if you don’t think any of it! Go away, just leave!”

And he did. He could see she was on the verge of tears, and she did lock herself up to contain herself from crying. Her practical side urged her to go to Dean Winchester and try to beg for forgiveness, but her emotional side just begged to stay locked away from people. It wasn’t just the found she had lost, what if Dean Winchester tried to do everything to drown her school because of what just happened? She was afraid for everything she worked for, she was afraid for her colleagues, herself and she was furious at Castiel. How were you supposed to react when the person you helped caused your downfall?

**O o O**

On the travel back, Castiel could hardly express his shame. Not for insulting that rich ass, in fact he couldn’t help but feel proud at this. No, he was ashamed for doing that to Anna and the rest of the school. Sure, he had been angry at her at first for her lack of pride, but if she had decided to shut up for the sake of her and everyone’s future, he shouldn’t have jeopardized that. What would Lexie say? He hoped Harold Cavanaugh would be nicer toward her.

He went to Mrs Simmons, the babysitter, and took Claire back earlier than he should have. She was already sleeping when he arrived, and she hardly woke up as he gently carried her out.

“Daddy, you back.”

He smiled at her, caressing her blond hair, he still remembered how light she used to be when she was a baby. She would turn four soon, and he could hardly believe sometimes how fast she grew up.

“I’m back, sweetie. We’re going home.”

“Hum…”

Oh Dear, he also killed her future today…He hugged her tightly, walked back home, trying to keep his poker-face. She hardly said anything, she just kept her little head over his shoulder completely lax in his arms.

He was pretty sure he would be fired, he should have just shut up, there was no way poor people could stand up to powerful ones. _But you aren’t poor anymore, and that was thanks to Anna. This how you repaid her._ Lord, what should he do, now? Well, he would wait. If he could fix it, he would try. And if he was fired, he would just find another job and manage, just like he always did in the past.

“Have a good night, honey,” he murmured while putting her to bed.

He hardly slept that night thinking of everything that happened, of Lexie, Anna, and his daughter. And Dean Winchester, that fucker screwed up his life once more! The next morning, he could hardly eat anything. Thank God it was the summer break, he would have time to try to find another job.

“Daddy? Are you hurt?”

He realized he was sitting, with his head hanging before a cold coffee. He was stunned even at such a young age, Claire saw it. He put her on his laps and tried to explain her.

“I’m just a bit sad. Sometimes adult life is hard. There are mean people and others you have to help but you can’t do it.”

“Why?”

“It’s difficult to explain. But it’s like this. You must know I love you dearie, I’ll always do everything so you can have what’s best.”

Although she didn’t understand everything, she just hugged him.

It was that evening that Anna visited him. He had put Claire in bed when she tapped at his door. He felt a knot in his stomach when he saw her but he wasn’t surprised. He let her enter, and they were both unable to look at each other. She sat in the living room, and he took out two beers. They would usually drink when they were in a good mood but tonight would be different.

“I don’t really have good news,” she declared softly.

“I guessed. I’m sorry, really. I know you didn’t want to hear it, but I am.”

“Well, you did speak the truth: that guy could have been raised by apes. I don’t think we would have obtained anything anyway.”

He frowned, she just looked defeated, she just started her beer like she needed it. He sat and asked: “So this is the moment you fire me?”

She sighed in defeat. “I’m sorry, you don’t imagine how much. But you don’t know what he told me after you left. Cas’, I can’t keep you, if I do, he’ll simply make sure the school get closed and we’ll all be unemployed.”

Why try to save him at everyone’s expense if he couldn’t even be saved in the first place? That was the most human and logical choice. She gave a shaky breath: “I tried to convince him, but he said you had defied his name, his family. And he said our school would suffer anyway, but that if you didn’t leave, he would completely destroy it…”

“Why? Why make the school suffer? You did nothing!”

“I don’t know! He said we would hardly have any funds from anyone anymore.”

“What does he want? I mean, I would have got it if he asked to apologize, even get on my knees, but why punish everyone?”

“I don’t know. Really Castiel, that guy has a problem! He…He also wants you to come and meet him!”

“What?”

She nodded and took a big gulp of beer. “He told me you had to come and meet him tomorrow at twelve. I don’t know what he wants, he probably hopes you’ll beg or something.”

Oh no, he could never do that! But Anna seemed so desperate, so down…Dean Winchester told her the school would hardly receive any funds, he probably wanted Castiel to beg to fix this. “I knew he was a monster already. A friend of mine had to leave the city and abandoned everything they had because of him.”

“What happened?”

Castiel sighed: “Her name was Ellen, she had a bar. I really loved that place, and Ellen was like some kind of mother to me. I would work there to gain some money, and really helped me back then. But one day, when I was seventeen, she had to sell her bar, and had to leave the City with her little girl even though she hardly had anything, and I never saw her again. She didn’t tell me much, just that she was forced to sell. Later, I learned it was Dean Winchester who had bought back her bar so his father could build a store there.”

“But he was probably very young…”

“Apparently his dad made him start to work right when he was eighteen. Don’t know what he did to force her to sell, but he wouldn’t have been able to intimidate her easily.”

Anna looked at him with sorry eyes. “I’m so sorry. I understand why you acted like that at the cocktail. If only I had known…”

“It’s okay, you couldn’t have known and I should have held my tongue too. I’ll go and meet him, I’ll try to fix it.”

They remained together a bit, and Castiel felt a bit better to know she wasn’t angry at him anymore, but he was also scared for her, and for his colleagues. He went to his daughter’s bedroom and looked at her sleeping form.

“Nobody will hurt you, little girl. I’ll make sure of it.”

He went to the meeting tomorrow, fear in his stomach. He couldn’t mess that up. He was in ahall, waiting for Dean Winchester’s secretary to come and fetch him. He had to admit, he was somehow impressed to be here. That place was…God, it was huge! He had lived in New York since he was eleven, so it wasn’t as if he had never seen any of those big company towers, but he had hardly ever been in one. It was all glass, metal, cement, marble even in some rooms, the floors were almost shiny and except for some offices, everything was pretty neat. It was classy, but cold.

He took a deep breath, although he was pretty sure it was near impossible for poor people to stand up to rich ones, he had to try. If he had been the only one paying for his actions, he could have bent. But too many people would pay, he had to do everything to avoid that.

“Mr Novak? Will you follow me?” A woman with high heels told him.

He stood and was surprised at how heavy his legs felt. He saw Dean Winchester at his desk with a smug expression and Castiel breathed in deeply, looking at him with anxiety. In other circumstances he might have had admired the view, but right now he didn’t notice it.

“Good morning,” he breathed out, knowing he had to be polite.

“Sit.”

Without a word, Castiel complied. He wished he could punch that arrogance away from his face, he hated the way he was looking at him! _It’s only a bad moment, only a bad moment_.

“You know you just lost your job.”

“My boss told me you demanded me to be fired. She also told me you were going to punish the school for what I did. Why would you do that? You could have just…”

“Shut up. How did you learn about my brother?” He still remembered what Castiel said, and wanted to hit him just for saying that, saying that Sam would rather be poor than stay with him. Maybe it hurt so bad because Dean had that exact same thought almost every day since his little brother left for the West Coast. Hearing someone voice it out had been more painful than anything, worse than the other insults.

“I…Some woman told me, I don’t know what her name was, really.” That answer didn’t satisfy Dean obviously. “Look, I got it, you can screw me over, but…”

“Whoever insults me or my family, I repay them back one hundred times.”

“Do you always ruin peoples’ lives whenever they stand up to you? All because I didn’t like the way you insulted me and my colleagues? You allow yourself to abuse people because you’re rich and powerful?” It came out by itself, more baffled than angry.

“Exactly. You’re a nobody compared to me, and I’m gonna crush you.”

Castiel frowned: “You already got me unemployed, isn’t that enough?”

“Nope, it won’t be. You will also have to get your ass away from that city. I don’t ever want to see your face again.” _It would be painful after wanting you, and after what you said_. Dean tried to brush off that thought but it was true. 

This almost made Castiel’s heard swirl in shock. “So, just because I talk back, you’re ruining my life? You know anyone else would have just insulted me back, told me to fuck off, why do you have to act like that?”

Dean didn’t show anything, but right now, the man reminded him of Sam. It shook him a bit inside but he just replied: “As I said, I can allow myself to do whatever I want. You have a few days to get your ass away from New York. Hope you’ll think twice before insulting someone above you next time.”

Castiel breathed in deeply. He had to think before talking, he could have mentioned Claire, explain that guy he had a child, but he feared it would be worse. He didn’t want that guy to know about Claire. “Listen. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have made such comments, okay. I’ll apologize to you, I’ll do whatever you want, but I…I can’t leave that city, my life is here. And my colleagues are innocent, they didn’t do anything, Anna was mad at me for what I did. Please, don’t make them pay because of me.”

“I know, that’s why I won’t punish them as hard as you. And I don’t care about your life. Just get the fuck away.”

Now, Castiel was angry again. He just begged him, smothered his pride, and that was his only reaction?! His gaze suddenly hardened: “And if I don’t? Really, what will happen?”

Dean grinned slightly at this. Weirdly, he wished to see that pride and defiance back. “Well, let’s say that you won’t find a job anywhere, even cleaning the shittiest toilets of the city will be out of reach for you, and you’ll be happy if your legs can still carry you through the streets to beg for some cash. Trust me, I’m a man of my words. Your dear friend Anna will already pay, let’s hope your colleague won’t be as foolish as you two were.”

“What?! Why would hurt her? She apologized to you…”

“She tried to defend you. I won’t be too harsh with her but let’s say she’ll also have to find another job. At least she will stay in the City if she wishes.”

Actually, he would probably leave the woman be. He just wanted to let the man believe he had ruined his friend’s career. But honestly, that chick could be left alone. He watched as Castiel turned his back to him without a word and left. He didn’t see the professor smirking, though.

Once he was back home, Castiel listened again to the conversation which he recorded on his phone. It was clear enough, and if that was broadcasted, Dean Winchester would have problems.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, the thing about Ellen will be more expalined in the future. Don't hesitate to tell me what you think, thank you!


	3. A Strange Proposal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, here is the third chapter, thanks to the people who reviewed!

“I have bad news, sir.”

“What is it?”

It was past noon and Dean wanted to go out and eat, he hoped this wouldn’t take long. Marc, his advertising agent, was approaching him, he was white out of anger, and Dean frowned. That guy was usually cool and good-natured, he didn’t know what could put him in such a state.

“Guess what Damian did yesterday? Well? You can see on Youtube,” he announced while showing him his phone.

“Arthur Damian?”

That was the name of one of his subordinate, the guy was managing the whole purchasing department. But recently, Dean had been more than dissatisfied with his work, and his ‘conservative’ attitude. He had made him understand everyone could be replaced, and of course Arthur Damian hadn’t dared to talk back, but he had seen his look. Dean hadn’t bothered about him, though. Maybe he should have, that’s what he realized once Marc showed him.

A video was going viral: Arthur Damian going out of a church well-known for its homophobic discourse, the Church of Hope. A laughable name, when you knew that all they were doing was encouraging people to hate themselves. Well, he could see the old fucker getting out and as some reporters approached, what Dean heard made his blood boil.

_“I give all my support to the Church of Hope, who does their best to bring traditional and familial values back in our country. I’m especially encouraging their fight against same-sex marriage, which is an aberration to me. Exposing children to that kind of atrocities is what’s gonna murder our country slowly.”_

_“And does your company agree with this?”_

_“Well, of course they do. We are a company who values traditions.”_

Dean stopped it immediately. He knew the guy had homophobic tendencies before, but until now, he wouldn’t show it too much. He could hear the reporters talking on how his company was apparently filled with homophobia and all.

“Well, that’s rich considering we both like men!” Dean growled. “I mean you married one!”

“And we aren’t the only who aren’t straight, let’s not forget Charlie! As if those fuckers knew anything…”

Looking at him, Dean remembered he and his husband intended to adopt a child. He imagined how hard it would be for him to hear such a thing. He silently promised himself he would try to make a gesture for them. He put a hand on Marc’s shoulder, surprising the man because it was rare for Dean to give such display of compassion. He shook himself up and took a deep breath: “I don’t know if talking about my marriage will send a strong enough message. Your bisexuality could be but people might not believe it. If you were married to a guy, then it would make them shut up, but…”

“Yeah, marriage is not exactly my thing.”

“You should try one day,” he jokingly declared before becoming serious again. “Anyway you’ll probably need to make a statement,” he suggested to his boss.

“I will.”

He didn’t like that, it bothered him on a business and personal level. He didn’t like that people were obliged to act straight just because some others were too narrow-minded or sexually frustrated! He had donated a lot for the fight against conversion therapy in the past, that should have counted for something!

“Well, he’ll get fired in no time. I’ll think of my next statement, I’m coming back to you soon.”

“Alright.”

Eating outside was one of Dean’s habit, it often allowed him to freshen up his mind, and he wanted to take time to think before making any statement, he couldn’t miss that one. He usually liked that streets, it was full of men and women fussing around, dressed elegantly and talking on phone, or carrying important things, half-running through the streets some wouldn’t even take the time to sit to eat. To some people, it was probably a stressful atmosphere, but to him, it was actually exciting. It was buzzing with life, energy, so much was happening at once it was almost overwhelming. He loved being part of that, of that constant challenge. But today, what just happened stopped him from enjoying it entirely. He would just grab something to eat and go back to his office…

“Hey, you!”

He stopped at the sound of that voice and was stunned to see that Castiel guy here. What the hell?! Why was he even here? Oh he certainly didn’t need to see that fucker right now! Why didn’t he leave already?!

“So you really have a death-wish?”

“No. But I saw the News this morning. Your company’s reputation isn’t at its best right now.”

“Yeah, so what? You think that will help you in any ways?”

“Maybe. With what’s happening to you, you wouldn’t like it if other things were broadcasted. Like this.”

Castiel showed him his phone and started to play the audio he had recorded. For the first time in a long time, Dean had a cold shiver. That conversation with Castiel…Being suspected of homophobia was bad enough, but this, this was maybe even worse, because he wouldn’t be able to deny it. If this got out…Dear Lord, he had dropped his guard, he had been so impatient to hurt the guy that he had been careless.

He looked at him with furious eyes, Castiel had a triumphant expression and he hated that. He had sworn no one could ever look at him like that! He was Dean Winchester, even the mob would take gloves with him, and now that common little teacher was trying to bring him down! No way! Good God, Damian and now this! That man had dared to use Sam against him and now he was using this! He resisted the urge to punch him, not before any witness, it would do him no good right now.

“If you plan to kill me, let me tell you I have sent it to other people and made copies. If anything happens to me, then…”

“I get it! Tell me what you want, son of a bitch.”

Castiel huffed and rolled his eyes: “I want you to leave us alone. Don’t persecute Anna or the school, and I want to stay in that city. I won’t get my job back, if that can satisfy you, but I don’t want the school or my friends to suffer.”

“What else?” Dean wondered how much he would ask for. It didn’t matter much because he had no intention to pay, he had already dealt with blackmail in the past. But he wanted to let Castiel think he had won.

“Nothing. I’m not asking for money or anything of that sort, just peace. And I swear you won’t see my face again or hear about this once more.”

Dean blinked several times, not sure he heard right: “You took such a risk just for that? Just so I would leave you and your friends alone?”

“It’s worth it to me.”

Dean snorted and looked deeply at him, almost forgetting his anger for a moment. This guy was either totally unconscious or desperate, he wasn’t sure. Now, it was actually not that stupid to ask for a small price, he probably thought Dean would comply more easily. But anyone would have been tempted to ask for money…

That guy didn’t care about money.

He nodded. “If that’s all you ask for, fine. The school will be left in peace, as for you…Well, if someone in this City wants to employ you, I sincerely pity them, but I won’t stop them. Now get out of my sight.”

“Thanks, your Highness.”

With that last little mockery, Castiel left. Dean looked at him as he was walking away. That simple little man, who actually had the guts to go against him…Money really didn’t interest him at all…He truly despised Dean and he didn’t hesitate to show it, and now he wouldn’t hesitate to defy him, even though it meant risks. As much as he hated him for trying to wound him, a part of him had to admit that guy was way braver than a lot of people he had confronted in his life. As he strolled through the streets, an idea came to his mind. It was crazy, but it could definitely work.

It didn’t take long for him to make a statement on Social Network, he and Marc thought over it again and again. In the end, it was written: _I must say immediately that Mr Damian’s declarations aren’t only false but shocking for us. We do not support homophobia, nor the Church of Hope, and we can announce already that our cooperation with him will be shortened. I also want to remind people that_ Winchester&co _made several donations to fight against conversion therapy. Not only it goes against human rights, but it goes against my personal believes and taste. I am myself in a relationship with a man, and therefore I’m fully part of the LGBT community._

“Okay, that’s fine, but you aren’t in a relationship. They’ll discover it soon.”

“Don’t worry for that…I have an idea which would allow me to kill two birds with one stone. Even more than two. First, I need to go and see Charlie.”

Just like Jo, Dean knew how to spot people who would do the best job, and Charlie Bradbury was definitely one of them. By the evening, she was done with the job he asked her to do. He thanked her and offered some days off as a reward. She just largely contributed to his plan. Now, it would be the turn of his three ‘hounds’ to go and catch his prey.

**O o O**

He had spent the whole day searching for another place to work in. Of course, he sent his application to every school nearby, but he knew it wouldn’t be easy. He also sent it for many other jobs, and hoped he would get a response soon. He also has also one way to gain more money, not a very respectable one, but it would still do for now. He had also spent time with Claire, taking the young child to the park, he decided they would go to the beach tomorrow. After all, he just managed to get a big weight and threat off of his shoulders, he could allow himself some good time with Claire.

Tonight he wouldn’t be with her though. He had hired Trish for the evening, so she would watch his kid while he was going to earn some money. Sometimes he would take Claire with him at his ‘job’ but he would rather avoid it. He just hoped it wouldn’t leave any marks this time. H shivered and hugged his jean jacket around him, it wasn’t that cold but the night spring air was still a bit nippy. But as he was walking out of his house and toward his car, three men appeared in his way. He didn’t pay any attention to them at first, until they completely blocked his way, stopping and forming a line before him.

“Is there a problem?”

He had already found himself in that kind of situation, but usually it would be thugs going for money who would do that. Those guys were well dressed and didn’t look like thugs.

“Yes, there is. You. You’re coming with us.” The biggest said.

Castiel shivered. What the hell was that? “Why?”

“Use your brain, who did you annoy recently? You’re coming with us.”

In a second, Castiel understood: he had to get rid of those guys, and take Claire away from that City, right now! Those guys were maybe not thugs, but he would deal with them exactly the same way.

Taking a deep breath, he slapped the biggest throat before punching him in the plexus. The man was bent in half and Castiel didn’t have the time to land another blow. Instead he had to dodge the two others attacks. He backed away and punched the second man in the jaw and received one kick in the ribs. He backed away and when the third man tried to kick him again, he seized his foot and pulled on it. In a yell, the man fell, the sound was cut short when Castiel kicked him in the head hard, knocking him off. One down!

The third man suddenly grabbed him by behind, restraining him while the biggest guy got up. Castiel trashed and sent his elbow in his captor’s side. The other suddenly punched him in the jaw, making his lip bleed. Castiel yelped and kicked him hard in the stomach, and then sent his skull back to hit the man holding him right in the nose. His captor yelped in pain and lessened his hold. Tearing himself away from it, Castiel elbowed him hard in the jaw before returning to the biggest man who was still recovering from the kick.

He lunged at him but the man blocked his blow and punched Castiel in the chest, making him back away and growl in pain. He dodged the next punch and landed a blow right in the man’s eye. His head snapped back and Cas’ took the opportunity to sent his knee right in his opponent’s kidney before punching him again. The man stumbled but still managed to stand. Castiel went to attack when a hand grabbed his shoulder.

“Enough!” He heard a familiar ‘click’ sound and turned to face the third man to see a barrel. His blood turned cold: he didn’t know they had guns!

The third man was panting and bleeding and looked damn angry. “I should shoot you! You’re glad the boss wants you alive!”

This time, Castiel had no choice but obey. The biggest guy finally recovered and went to grab their unconscious friend while the other still roughly pushed Castiel, keeping him under the threat of his gun. The travel was almost silent, one of them just told him he hoped he would go through hell. He answered nothing, absolutely sure hell awaited for him. Dean Winchester…What could the man have in store for him? The man sitting at his side ordered him to give him his phone and he reluctantly obeyed.

He was led in Dean’s office again, the man still keeping his gun the whole time. He remembered when he had been here during daytime, it had been animated, stressful even. But here, it was night, no one was here, except for them and the man awaiting them, of course. He wiped the blood dripping from his lip away. He was scared, he tried to reassure himself and think that if Dean Winchester wanted him dead he would have had him killed not captured him.

He was pushed in Dean’s office which seemed incredibly bright compared to the rest of the building which was in semi-darkness. He was sitting at his desk, looking dominant and powerful and everything a man like him should look like. A smirk adorned his face when he saw Castiel. He was wearing blue jeans and a jean jacket, and he had to say he loved that look on him.

“Ah, here you are. Please, sit.” His tone was taunting, it was a big change compared to this morning when he had looked and sounded upset and angry. Since he had no choice, he sat facing Dean who frowned and looked at his henchman quizzically. He just saw the open lip and the bruise on Castiel’s face, but noticed the right side of his employee’s jaw had grown purple too.

“I didn’t tell you to use guns or violence! Just to take him here.”

“He didn’t give us a choice.”

At this, Castiel couldn’t help but grin a bit as he saw Dean frowning when the man explained him that the seemingly inoffensive teacher basically fought back, and would have probably beat the three of them if he hadn’t pulled out his gun.

“You’re kidding?”

“Nope, he isn’t,” Castiel declared. “I’m not the kind to get kidnapped easily.

Though Dean had a lot of questions running through his head, he decided to let it pass, he had other things to take care of.

“You have his phone?”

“Right here.”

He showed it to his boss who smiled in delight. “Good. Destroy it.”

“What no!”

But before Castiel could do anything, the man had crushed it against the call like crazy. Castiel watched in horror as his cell was now on the ground, completely broken and useless. Hell! And this first he thought of where all the pictures of Claire he didn’t have the time to save elsewhere. Dean chuckled.

“Okay. Leave us, I’ll call you if I need.”

Even though he had apparently fight off two of his henchmen, Dean wasn’t scared of the teacher; hell he almost wished he would attack him, it would be a good occasion to kick his ass. He knew how to fight as well, and he had already been in danger. Castiel turned to him again, still shocked after what happened. Dean looked at his open lip and brushed it with his thumb. Castiel brutally jerked his head back, it didn’t hurt, but the gesture was so out of place! Gently rubbing the stain of blood off of his finger, Dean looked at him.

“You’ve been a real pain in the ass, you know. Usually people will listen to me, but you’re a hard-headed bastard. You should have taken that opportunity to leave when you had it.”

“I can’t leave. But…”

“Oh, I know what you’re gonna say: you’re gonna remind me that you sent our conversation to many other people, that you don’t have saved only one your phone. There is something you didn’t think about.”

“What?” Asked Castiel with fear in his voice.

“A guy like me who makes phones, computers and that kind of stuff has some talented hackers among his employees. Usually, they actually protect our network, but I gave one of them a mission to make sure every traces of the conversation you recorded would be destroyed. And she managed to find every traces of it and delete it. Now, your phone was the last proof to destroy.”

Considering the look of disbelief on Castiel’s face, Dean smirked: “I can show you the list she gave me, you know those people you sent it too. There is Anna, but also one named Zach and Lexie…”

The way he sighed in defeat and closed his eyes was just so tale-telling, Dean knew he had him in his grasp this time.

“And what are you gonna do now? Kill me?”

He tried to sound brave but the fear was obvious. He was scared for his own life of course, and yet his first thought was this: what would happen to Claire? Would Trish even stay for the rest of the night? He imagined his daughter being placed in some foster care, where she would hardly be fed and taken care of, he imagined her cry for him…For a second he considered begging. Dean didn’t know the real reasons why he was afraid but he was enjoying it, a dark kind of joy he knew was wrong, a part of him was ashamed but it was enjoyable to bring an enemy down. _But I didn’t want him as an enemy, that wasn’t what I wanted when I saw him_.

“Kill you? Well, that could be an option…After all, I would have no problems getting away with your murder. Even if your corpse was found.”

This made his breath itch and he paled. Dean laughed at this: “Calm down, I’m not gonna kill you. I have another option for you. Otherwise I wouldn’t have brought you here. You could actually be useful to me, surprisingly.”

“How?” His voice was coarse, even though he maintained Dean’s gaze. He had no doubts that guy could kill him indeed and get away with murder, whatever he had in store for him, Castiel would have to consider it seriously.

“Let’s say that I found a solution to make sure I can keep my eyes on you, and to also make the rumors about my company disappear, rumors which I personally hate and which aren’t good for business. You know, you heard of those, you taunted me about it that morning. Anyway I’m pretty sure I’ll enjoy that solution very much.”

“What do you want?”

“I want you.”

His heart missed a beat.

He would have been less shocked if Dean had punched him, seeing his phone destroyed was nothing compared to that. A cold shiver ran through him as he heard those words and saw the man’s look over him.

Desire, a predatory kind of desire.

Dean stood up and approached him slowly. “It’s very simple: I can’t forgive someone humiliating me, only my family can get away with that kind of defiance. A rat defying me would get crushed, I could only drag them in the mud and leave them bleeding on the ground to remind everyone who I am, but I could forgive my future husband some bad words.”

Did he heard that well? He couldn’t even ask, the words were blocked in his throat. That man was a lunatic! No, it was a joke, it couldn’t be otherwise, some sick weird joke coming from some creepy rich guy who was bored. He huffed without amusement.

“Yeah, sure, you want to marry me. Can you tell me what you really have in store for me instead of joking?”

“Wondering why a guy like me would marry someone like you? I admit it’s surprising I could do much better. But I have every interest in that.” He trailed slowly while looking at Castiel up and down. “It’s very simple: I don’t need to marry for money, but for my reputation. Marrying a man would shut up every stupid comment about my company being a nest of homophobic assholes, and as a plus marrying a poorer one would give a good image of me to the public. Of course, I could try to seduce some guy, it wouldn’t be that hard, but it would still take time. Why loose time when I have a very attractive option available right now?”

He leaned toward him and Castiel jumped away from the seat and from him. He stood up and turned his back to Dean, hands before his mouth, trying to breath. This was a nightmare, and it couldn’t be any more ludicrous! Marriage?

“Seriously, stop that joke.”

“I wouldn’t consider my only way out as a joke if I were you. Let’s imagine…You and I were secretly dating, you just got stupidly angry at me during a reception, but now that we announced our marriage, I forgave you and even accorded a donation to the school. A school that you left by your own accord because you didn’t feel the need to work anymore. And of course, Anna, the Head-mistress, would be very grateful.”

Castiel shook his head, it couldn’t be. Dean would eventually laugh at his naivety or something, this must have been a sick game. But the laugh didn’t came, Dean was just circling around him like a vulture before stopping to face him. He had that triumphant look on his face, something Castiel hated.

“Now it’s your choice: marriage or misery.”

He had won. Dean knew he had won. The way Castiel closed his eyes, resigned and broken, that was just one of his sweetest victory. He leaned closer, admiring the image for an instant; That air of sadness on such a beautiful face. A twinge of guilt rose through him but he did his best to ignore it. That guy brought it upon himself, anyone smart would have known better! Suddenly, Castiel opened his eyes and snapped his head at him. What the…

“You know what? Okay, I agree to your stupid idea. But let me tell you it won’t be a joyride.”

His head swirled at such a response. He hated the defiance as much as he loved it; God damn, this dude really had one hell of a backbone!

“Cause’ you imagine this will be easy for you?”

“You think you can break me? Try! You won’t be the first one to have a go. But let me tell you one thing, the others failed.”

“Apparently they didn’t try hard enough. I bet none of them could ever rob you of your house?”

At this Cas’ was left utterly stunned, bringing another dark smile on Dan’s lips. “I’ll give you some times to come and gather your stuff to come at my place…”

“NO! There is no way I’m doing this! We can have that stupid fake wedding if that amuses you, but there is no way I’m leaving my house!”

“I imagine you’ll miss the stench but that’s full part of the deal.”

“No! I’m keeping that place, I’ll do whatever shit you ask, but I’m not coming to live with you! Go to Hell!”

With that, he left, and Dean allowed him to go. It didn’t matter, the man was trapped, he would find him wherever he would go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Constructive criticism are welcome!


	4. Rooftop Date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go again! I thanks people who reviewed, there is a lot of dialogue in that chapter but that was kind of needed.

Walking at a fast pace through the halls, Castiel was furious but also panicked: marrying that guy was already unbearable, but going to live with Dean meant bringing his girl to this monster as well. At first, he had thought Dean meant a façade marriage, that they would just sign the paper, have the ceremony and then return to their normal lives and not see each other. But what the hell did he expect? If that guy was serious about this marriage thing, then of course Castiel would have to come and live with him. That story would never hold on otherwise, people would see that they weren’t together.

He couldn’t accept that! But Dean had blown his protection and he really had the possibility to destroy him, and then Claire would be even more vulnerable. Hell, if she lost him, where would she go? Her mother had abandoned them a long time ago, he had no idea where she was, from what he heard she had left for South America. Maybe he could hide his child? But the thought of being separated from Claire…God he should have just shut up! Or leave when he had the occasion, what the hell did he think would happen when he threatened one of the biggest men of New York?!

He shivered slightly because of the Spring air, and walked on shaky legs. From the travel back home to the next morning, he could only think of that. He had watched his daughter sleep and had almost cried over her little bed. What did he do? He should have just bowed and shut up! But he didn’t know how to, he could lose his cold-blood easily, and God he was still naïve sometimes. He still believed someone with fair intention could win even against someone more powerful, what an idiot!

Once home, he let the babysitter go and went to his daughter’s room silently. He watched her sleep, watched the soft rise and fall of her breathing. He wanted to cry at the idea that he might get separated from her, but that was his own damn fault, he should have just held his tongue! He worsened everything, and now he was paying the price. He would just do what was best for her and stop being egoistical. He had to hide her but where? He didn’t have any family left! Well…Actually he got his father, but there was no way Claire would go with him, he would never allow it! He had hardly let his dad see her since she was born.

Maybe Ellen would take her, but he hadn’t seen her in years, not since she left. He didn’t even know what happened to her, if she was alive or not. Anna? Maybe, but that was still close, what if Dean discovered? But on the other hand, he would be able to visit his little girl that way. And after all, if Dean had his hands full with him and his business, he would probably give Anna no attention. That was maybe the best option, Anna was single for now, she loved children and she had always been fond of Claire. But that didn’t meant she would accept.

He prayed next to the little bed, he prayed God that she would be safe, that nothing would happen to her. He asked for forgiveness for endangering her, for his pride.

Sleep didn’t come that night.

Married, he would have to be married and probably live away from his daughter; part of him hoped he wouldn’t have to do that. A part of him hoped he would be able to find another way, but if Dean Winchester really intended to take that house and have them live together…he didn’t see any other way.

**O o O**

Anna was breath-taken when Castiel visited her next morning. He had come with Claire at her house, tapped at her door and what she heard sounded just like some novella or something. That guy wanted to marry Castiel?

“You must be kidding.”

“That’s what I told him too. But apparently, it’s serious. He wants to shut off those rumors about him, I don’t know if you heard but some guy working for him made a homophobic statement and associated his company with it.”

“Ah, in that case, a marriage with another man would be a solution, indeed. But doesn’t he have anyone willing?”

“Apparently no. He said that if I accepted, he would leave the school alone, even maybe fund it.”

“You don’t have to do this just for us!”

“It’s not just for you, I don’t have much of a choice anyway…”

“But what about Claire?”

Taking a deep breath, Castiel hoped she would accept. “I came for that. Dean Winchester doesn’t know about her yet, I don’t want him to discover she exists. I need her to stay with someone I trust, and...You’re probably the best choice I have.”

She gaped at this. Hearing about the marriage thing had stunned her already but now it was just icing on the cake! That meant she would be a mother all of sudden? She started to tremble, and looked everywhere, as if she was searching for an answer.

“But…”

“I will give you money every months! I will visit her from time to time, whenever it’s safe, I won’t just drop her and leave forever, but I need her to stay away.”

“It’s not about the money, it’s…I just…I can teach kids, but taking care of one like that…I never had any children, Cas’!”

He was aware this would be difficult for her. “Please, I don’t want to expose her to that guy. And, let’s imagine I could find another option, it would be only for some times.”

Anna doubted he would. If his best option was his ex-boss, then it meant there was really no one for that little girl. She looked at Claire who was just drawing, lying on the living room’s carpet a few feet away. She imagined having her every days. It could be a great thing to have a child, when she thought about it, but would she be a good mother? And how would she handle that situation? She wouldn’t just have to take care of a child, but hide her from someone powerful. Would she be able to do that? _I can’t abandon him, and I can’t let that child get hurt. I have to try._

“Okay…I have a guest room, your daughter can have it. We should start moving her stuff already.”

“Yeah. I’ll…I’ll also have to explain her.” He looked at her and bit his lip. She would cry, she would ask for him, he knew it. God, what if she thought he had abandoned her? _Think of her security first! It’s what matters the most for now!_

Anna put a comforting hand on his shoulder. “It will be alright.”

They went back to the house and started to pack Claire’s stuff. The little girl was obviously confused, looking at them in confusion as they were starting to pack and asking what they were doing with her toys. Castiel gently took her in his arms and petted her hair.

“Listen, sweetie, you’re going to stay with Anna for a little while; Daddy will have to…Do some things and it’s better if you aren’t around.”

The child frowned and shook her head. “No!”

“Come on, there is no other way…”

“I don’t want to go…”

“You like Anna. And…Daddy will try to do his best to come and search for you soon.”

She wasn’t happy at all with this, Anna tried to persuade her that they would have fun, and the child seemed a bit less reluctant, though she wouldn’t let go of her dad.

“You should have someone watch over her while we’re preparing her stuff,” Anna suggested.

“Maybe…I could ask Mrs Simmons, but I don’t have her number anymore…”

Someone suddenly tapped at the door. They were both startled, Castiel put Claire in Anna’s arms and they went to hide in the bathroom while he went to the door carefully, thinking that maybe it was Dean, standing her and who would see his little girl. When he opened, he saw a young man he didn’t know.

“I have a message for Castiel Novak, I had to deliver it personally.”

“Hum…Yes, it’s me.”

The young man left quickly after giving his message. It was simply written: _Join me at 12:30 at Giovanni’s_. There was an address and it was signed Dean Winchester. What? Where was this? It sounded like a restaurant. Was he seriously inviting him to lunch? No, it was probably something else. He quickly explained Anna and she accepted to take care of Claire while he was gone, telling him to try to hurry, though.

“I’ll just take your number, write it on a paper for me, please. I might be able to borrow a phone if anything goes wrong.”

Once that was done, he left, knowing Claire would be safe with Anna. Now, the only question was how he would deal with Dean Winchester.

**O o O**

He took the bus, and eventually a cab to shorten the travel. Not that he feared to be late, but while he was still trying to hide his daughter, he preferred to avoid angering Dean. Eventually, he reached the place, it wasn’t far from the Winchester’s tower. It was a restaurant, not the most luxurious around, but definitely not the kind of place he could usually afford. Why was he here? He didn’t see any familiar faces, but he saw his reflection in the mirror. His lip was still open, but at least the bruise on his jaw wasn’t that bad. He had way worse in the past, but he didn’t like that Claire saw him like this. She had asked what were ‘those’ this morning, and he pretended he fell. At her age, she would thankfully believe anything. No adults would believe such a lie, though. When he had explained Anna what happened, she had grown pale. Yet he couldn’t help but grin when he remembered how Dean reacted when he had been told he had attacked his henchmen instead of following nicely.

“Didn’t think you would be on time.”

He turned to see Dean Winchester advancing with that smug expression and rolled his eyes: “Some people can achieve that. Some people even know to say ‘Hi’ whenever they met someone. Hi, your Highness.”

In spite of the mockery, Dean couldn’t help but admire him. Lord, Castiel had been handsome in the club under the artificial lights, but he was even more breath-taking under the midday sun. The first time he had seen him, he had wished to see his eyes, to know their color. Well, he took the time to really look at those and they were even more beautiful than he thought, those blue, intense, expressive, finely shaped eyes…

“Hi, _future husband_. Shall we go in?”

He felt quite weird calling him like that, to think this was indeed the man he would marry. Even that bruise on his jaw couldn’t waste his beauty. Yet he didn’t like it. _Why not?_ _This is the guy who used Sam against you. No one ever dared to do that before._ It was strange how weirdly he wanted to seduce him and get revenge at the same time. Yet seeing him like that had lessened that anger against him.

Castiel could only comply. He followed him inside and saw the counter, and the hostess taking the booking, but no restaurant. She greeted them nicely, she even acted like she didn’t see how modest Castiel’s clothes were compared to Dean’s or hers.

“Please, I invite you to take the elevator.”

“It’s at the thirtieth floor. Hope you don’t have vertigo,” Dean told him once they were inside the elevator.

“I’ll be fine, sorry to disappoint.”

Dean laughed at this, and titled his head to the side. He stared at his bruise and cut lip once more but didn’t say a word, Castiel wasn’t looking at him at all. Was it because of fear or anger? Once they reached it, Castiel gaped. It was a rooftop restaurant, and the view on the terrace was just breath-taking, you could see many buildings, Central Park and on the river, and with the Spring blue sky of today, it was even better.

Dean could have laughed at the man’s reaction, he was looking at everything like a child would have, if his clothes couldn’t betray him, then his attitude would; But he didn’t care. That man was with him and people would have to bear with it. Once they were seated the almost naïve look disappeared and the angry, wary expression he was starting to know by heart. There were many people around, yet their table was near the rail, somewhere where they wouldn’t be too crowded. It was better in order not to be heard, there was enough noises to cover their conversation yet no one too close to hear.

“Why did you ask me to come here?”

“Well, we have some things to discuss, and we should spend some times together. After all what’s more normal for future newlyweds than have a date?”

Castiel snorted. “Well, considering you’re the richest, you’re the one inviting I guess.”

“I will, your bank account would probably be emptied here. After all, it’s up to the man to pay, isn’t it?”

“Very funny. In that case I would rather say ‘the douche who is blackmailing the other into coming here’. At least you seem to have good tastes.” He said that while admiring the view.

“You never came in such a place?”

“No. Go ahead and laugh at me for not being super-rich if you want.”

“I wasn’t.” He remained silent for a short moment and finally explained: “I guess I have to make it up to you. I didn’t ask my men to beat you, believe me. They were just supposed to bring you to my office.”

“Why were they three, then? Why didn’t you just send one guy?”

“Well, I’d guessed a bit of intimidation would convince you, I didn’t think you would actually attack them, I thought you would simply follow.”

“That’s what I always do whenever people try to corner me in a street.”

“I didn’t think of you as a fighter.”

Castiel was about to answer when the waiter came and gave them the menu. It was pretty amusing for Dean to see his reaction; the man had obviously never been in that kind of places, and he had probably never seen half of the dishes served here. “Take whatever you want, I don’t care. Just try not to open your lip again, it wouldn’t be classy to bleed everywhere.”

“I would be tempted to do it if it could shame you.”

“Careful,” Dean growled in a suddenly serious tone. “Don’t ever do something to shame me, got it? That will be part of our deal, since you’ll have the Winchester name, you’ll respect it.”

Castiel didn’t like being a Winchester, but well it wasn’t as if he had a choice. “Fine, I won’t disrespect your name. As long as you don’t humiliate me again and respect me, it will be easy.”

“Humiliate you?”

“Remind me who suggested me and my colleagues to sell ourselves?”

Indeed, a part of him knew it had been douchy, but that didn’t change anything, didn’t it? “You’ll do as I say no matter what…”

“You need me. You might have trapped me, you still need something from me, you wouldn’t want people to think you’re a bad husband after all? Don’t make things difficult for me, that’s all I ask. Until now, I had reasonable wishes, it’s up to you whether or not you can be reasonable too. It would a nice change.”

Looking at him, Dean narrowed his eyes and eventually complied: “Okay. Let’s agree on that: in public, we’ll both respect each other. I also want you to act loving toward me, this has to be believable.”

A cold shiver ran through Castiel. Loving? “Yeah, about that…What…How do you…” The man took a deep breath. “About physical contacts. I don’t want to get intimate with you, I’d rather tell you right away.”

He kinda hoped Dean would laugh and tell him he had no wish to touch him, but the man just shook his head: “Well, I don’t exactly want to pass for an exhibitionist, so when it comes to the public, we won’t go further than any normal couple. I don’t intend to molest you.”

“And in private?”

“No worries either, I’m not gonna rape you, or coerce you, I hate rapists. You’ll be safe, you’ll have your own room in my house.”

“Okay…Okay.”

If Dean had no lust for him, he would have simply told him he didn’t want him. Instead, he said he wouldn’t coerce him…But now he remembered the way he had looked at him. He thought he might have been wrong, but apparently no.

“Are you actually gay?”

“Bi. Women or men, both are attractive to me.”

Dean didn’t say more. Somehow, he wanted his future husband to ask, but the question never came. Was he afraid of that? He remembered that way he danced in the club, and felt a sting. Would have things been different if he had been able to talk to him sooner?

“What about you?” Asked Dean, looking into his eyes, enjoying the sight as long as he could.

“It’s none of your concern.”

_I want you._ That had been Dean’s words, Castiel remembered those. He had to admit Dean Winchester was an attractive man, and if he had been a nice guy, he would have been probably tempted. He only had one relationship with a man before, it didn’t last long, but Castiel had a nice memory of it. Yeah, if only there had been a nice man in Dean’s body, he could have been seduced, but the personality and what he did to Ellen in the past repulsed him. He looked down, Dean’s intense stare over him almost crowding him. His breathing itched, wanting to change the subject badly.

“Can I get another job?”

“What for?”

“Hum…I don’t know, pay for whatever I need. And I actually enjoyed my job.”

“You really miss being a teacher? What did you even teach in the first place?”

“English. I always liked that.”

“…We’ll see about it, but well, you won’t need to work that much, you’ll be married to someone rich.”

“What, so you’re gonna pay for whatever I want?” He hardly believed it.

“Not for whatever you want, but for what you need. Don’t imagine you can suddenly empty my bank account.”

“I don’t, be reassured.” As if he cared about his damn money, he wasn’t some whore!

Weirdly enough, Dean believed that. He looked at Castiel up and down, noticed he was barely looking at the menu, he looked thoughtful. “What would you want?”

“On the menu?”

“That and in general. If I was to offer you something, what would you want?”

That was certainly not a question he expected, in fact a lot of things were really unexpected. Was he trying to buy him? He just shrugged, there were probably tons of things he could have asked for, but he didn’t know what and right now he didn’t want anything but be left in peace with his child. He eventually found an answer.

“Why not a new phone? It would be quite useful after you got the previous one broken.”

He couldn’t help but laugh at Castiel’s answer: that wasn’t what he expected. “Fair enough.”

The waiter came for their order. Castiel blushed as he realized he hadn’t chosen anything. Dean ordered a Tuscan black pepper beef, and he just took Lasagna, not really caring actually.

“So that’s really what we’re for, to…Discuss our deal?” Asked he once the waiter was gone.

“Pretty much. After all, the sooner the better, because we’ll announce our relationship to the public shortly. I don’t want people to think I’m homophobic, or that I support them.”

“It’s not good for business, I guess.”

“Not only, I told you: I’m bi, so I’m a tad concerned. I hate homophobia, conversion therapy and all that shit. It would be hard for them to attack someone like me, but there are people who can’t defend themselves.”

“For once I guess we’d agree,” Castiel admitted. Was he sincere? This was the guy who once told him he wouldn’t hesitate to crush people with his power, and now he spoke like he cared about weaker ones. Was it fake? Maybe not, people could be full of contradictions. If he felt concerned about LGBT people being hurt, maybe he would indeed empathize.

The dishes were delicious, he had to admit it, but he didn’t have much appetite. He tried to force himself to eat, though, he would need to gain forces, he would have work, moving Claire to Anna’s place would take energy. Weirdly enough, it dawned on him that he would live separately from his daughter. That he would only be able to visit her from time to time, and hide while doing so.

“You don’t like it?”

Dean’s voice woke him up and he looked at him with hatred. It was because of him that he was here, he shouldn’t be eating in that stupid restaurant with him, he should have been with his little girl! It was because of him.

“It’s not the problem. Did you really do that just because I bumped into your car? Or for a few bad words? And I would have understood if I had attacked you for nothing, if I had been the one insulting you, but you came and dragged us in the mud. What did you expect?”

It was painful to admit it, but Dean knew deep down that he was right. Yet there was no way he could admit it, not right now. “And what did you expect? Defying me, that was already foolish, but bringing my brother into this…You did it because you knew it would hurt, didn’t you? You knew that would be my weakness. What did you expect?”

“Well, I was just using your methods, you know: targeting the loved ones. The only difference is that I did it without insulting your brother.”

He continued to eat, ignoring the way Dean was looking at him. Instead, he stared at the city, it was gigantic and beautiful. That made him think of something.

“Where do you live? Where will I have to go?”

“Greenwich Village. It will be different from Queens.”

Castiel’s eyes widened at this: “How do you know I live in Queens?”

He felt his stomach knot and started to tremble. He couldn’t help it, but his breathing stopped and of course Dean noticed the reaction. What was so wrong with it? “You searched through my life?”

“No, I just had someone find your address, may I remind you I send some men to fetch you? Is there something I should find?”

Castiel had never been a good liar, and he cursed himself for that. He had never been that good at disguising his emotions, just like he couldn’t held back his tongue sometimes. “I just don’t like to think you might go through my life. That’s all.”

“Is there something I should know?”

He could see that Castiel grew paler and immediately knew there was something more than simple fear for his privacy. He would know what, definitely. “You’re coming with me, after.”

“No. I don’t know what you have planned, but I have stuff to do. Like, you know, packing my belongings.” He hoped he sounded convincing, and considering how Dean shrugged, he thought there was maybe a chance. “Fine. Remember I want to see you tomorrow. You’ll find me at 5 o’ clock before that restaurant again.”

“As you wish.”

He didn’t want to make him angry anymore. He just wished to get away, and get Claire away. Once their lunch was over, Castiel left Dean as quickly as possible. He prayed he hadn’t given him any suspicions. His prayers went unanswered.

**O o O**

His first move was to go to Mrs Simmons. The middle aged woman was smoking weed when she opened the door, and once more, Castiel remembered why he wouldn’t consider her the first choice to babysit Claire. But she wasn’t a junkie, just a hippie who was still living a bit like in the sixties. He knew Claire was safe with her, even though she wasn’t exactly a conventional kind of babysitter, he had seen much worse than her. He long flowery skirt was floating around her, along with her long brown hair. Their something peaceful emanating from her, and it actually did some good to him in that situation. 

“Hey, sweetheart! What are you doing here?”

“Hey, hum…I came to ask for a favor, could you…Could you watch over Claire this afternoon?”

She raised an eyebrow: “Why didn’t you call?”

“I broke my phone.”

“Ah, shit. Wanna have a drag?” Asked she, showing her joint.

“Hum, no, thanks. I have a lot to do today; so can you…”

“Of course, cutie! Bring your kid, I don’t have much to do, today.” She crushed what she was smoking in an ashtray. She wouldn’t smoke whenever Claire was around.

“Thanks! Thanks a lot!”

He returned home in a hurry. Anna was still here, she suggested she would make one first travel to her home with some of the stuff alone while Castiel would bring her to the baby sitter, then he would come again and take some more stuff before retrieving her home. He accepted, they would lose less time. He loaded her car with her and she left. Then, he prepared a bag with some of Claire’s stuff for her afternoon with Mrs Simmons in a hurry; after all, there wasn’t so much time left.

It was a meager consolation, but at least things were playing out well for now. Mrs Simmons was available right now, so at least Claire wouldn’t be around while they moved all her belongings in Anna’s place, it would be less difficult. He put the bag on his shoulder and grabbed the little girl. She was just waking up from a nap, and he would usually prpare a little snack for her. But not today.

“Hey, Claire.”

“Where’s Anna?”

“Hum…She had to go back home, you’ll go with Mrs Simmons.”

“You come with me?”

“I’ll get you there and then I leave you with her.”

“I don’t want to go.”

The sting was painful, he knew he would have such reaction. Claire loved being with him, she was a sensitive child, very loving and she didn’t like to be left alone. God, what would she feel like? “I know, sweetie, but you have to.”

“Wanna stay with you.”

She passed her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly, and he hugged her a bit tighter. He didn’t want to be away from her either, he promised himself he would visit as soon as possible. He opened the door and got out but immediately stopped as he saw someone advancing toward him. Oh no!

Just a few steps away from him, Dean Winchester was here, standing still. He had stopped any move when he had seen Castiel going out of the house.

Castiel just hugged Claire tighter, and for a short moment, the two men just looked at each other, standing still, with no words. They couldn’t even hear the ruckus of the street anymore. The little girl turned her head, saw the stranger and just asked in her innocent voice: “Who’s that, daddy?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, hope you enjoyed it!


	5. A New Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, next chapter here, I want to thank everyone who reviewed! Finally, Dean will meet Claire!

Dean got out of his car and snorted as he gauged the house. Some would have called it humble, he would have called it shitty. Well, okay maybe it was his luxury taste talking here, it was decent, but it was absolutely nothing compared to what he owned. Though his future husband didn’t seem greedy, he hoped he could dazzle him with his own home.

He went toward it and stopped when the door opened. Castiel sprung out, holding something and stopped immediately in his tracks when he saw who was waiting for him. As for Dean, he was astonished as the something happened to be a little girl. She had her little arms around the man’s neck, and Castiel was also carrying a big bag on his shoulder.

He was unable to react, his brain processing what he was seeing. Castiel just held the little girl tighter, taking a step back. “Who’s that, daddy?”

Daddy? He had a daughter?! _Of course, moron, who else could that kid be?_ Oh Hell, that’s something he didn’t know, that wasn’t supposed to happen!

Castiel felt like crumbling: it was over, Dean knew and the hope of hiding his daughter’s existence was dead. Yet he kept a strong front, because that what he would always do, especially when Claire was around.

“No one, sweetie. Just someone daddy has to work with.”

This was enough to make Dean recover: “No one? I don’t think so. You got a child?”

“It doesn’t matter who you are to her.”

This made Dean’s eyes go wide with realization: “You intended to run away, didn’t you?!”

His calculating, businessman mind couldn’t help but think that if he had a child, then Castiel would be even more vulnerable. This time, Dean felt ashamed at such an idea, that was no joke, there wasn’t supposed to be a child in the middle! Castiel didn’t answer, obviously afraid but still defiant. The little girl just watched him curiously, she was probably no older than three or four.

“Sweetie, you’re gonna get back inside, we have to talk.”

“Can I watch some TV?”

“No, we’ll leave soon, just wait for me.”

As the little girl went back inside, Dean felt horribly conflicted. As long as it was just between he and Castiel, it was fine to push the guy around, but now, there was a kid involved and things couldn’t go the same. He remembered the way Castiel reacted once told he would have to go and live with him. Now he understood why his reaction had been so virulent. Hell, that’s why he didn’t want to leave New York at all, if his child had her life here…

“Didn’t know you had a kid. Why didn’t you speak about her?”

“You didn’t ask. And honestly, would it have changed anything?”

_Yes! It would have changed everything!_ But it was too late to back down.

“How was I supposed to think of it? Dads usually don’t go partying all night.”

But then he remembered John did left for cocktails and stuff like that. But now those were related to work. Castiel rolled his eyes: “Babysitters exists. It’s no wonder you got no children.”

In a flash, images of Sam came into his mind. He might not have been his father, but he had half-raised him. Once again, he felt angry at Castiel, no one dared to talk like that to him!

“Well, where did you intend to go with her? You seriously think it’s easy to raise a kid on the run?”

Castiel rolled his eyes, though he wished he could run away with his girl at the other side of the country but distance wasn’t much a problem for men like Winchester. “I’m not running, don’t be paranoid. I’m just taking her to the babysitter. In case you don’t know it’s not wise to leave a small child alone, so I’ve prepared her stuff. That’s all.”

Dean relaxed, it was good to see that he was being reasonable. He looked around and smirked.

“A nice neighborhood, I imagined you in the ghetto or something.”

Castiel suddenly laughed at that, a reaction Dean surely didn’t expect. The man just called for his daughter, not giving a damn about what he just said. “Claire! Come here, we’re leaving.”

“But, dad…”

“No ‘but’, you’re coming.”

Though she was pouting, the kid did come out of the house and once again, Dean wondered what the hell he would do with the girl around. Once again, Castiel took her in his arms and Dean told him to get in his car and ordered his driver to get the child’s seat from Castiel’s car into his own.

“I’m going myself.”

“Nope, you aren’t, remember our deal. Beside there are things we need to talk about.”

“Not before my kid. This isn’t her business.”

He complied with Dean’s demand though, and allowed the driver to get Claire’s seat, not wanting to get her in the middle of a fight. The little girl looked around excitedly as her father put on her seat belt. He wasn’t reassured at all to have her in the same car as Dean Winchester to be honest.

“It’s a big car!”

“It surely is,” Dean answered as he got in. “You like it?”

“Yeah! Daddy, can we have one like that?”

“It’s too expensive for us, normal people can’t afford cars like that. Sorry honey, but we’ll have to keep the old one.”

“My house is even better, I have two dogs, would you like to come with your dad?” Dean suggested to the girl, actually sounding kind while doing so.

“Yeah!”

“No!” Castiel exclaimed hurriedly. “No, we’re not going there, Mr Winchester is just joking. We can’t go there.”

“But I want to see the doggies!”

“Mrs Simmons has a dog and you love it. We’re almost there anyway.”

Dean held himself from saying anything, it wasn’t things to discuss before the little girl. He just smiled to her instead: “What’s your name?”

“Claire!”

“Mine is Dean.”

Her hair was lighter than Castiel’s, between brown and blond, her eyes however were the same as her father, bright blue eyes, except she didn’t have this sad, tormented expression. They hardly said much after that. The little girl was babbling from time to time but that was all. When Castiel got out of the car, the little girl went straight to Mrs Simmons’s dog, an old Golden Retriever who greeted her longingly. The babysitter was astonished at the sight of the car.

“Wow! I never thought I would see such a car park before my house!”

“And I never thought I would get out of one.”

“Hi, Ma’am, I’m Dean Winchester,” he politely introduced himself.

She blinked several times, showing she had already heard the name, but couldn’t put her finger on it, and Castiel had to explain her who he was. She seemed stunned to see that man here. “Glad to meet you…You two know each other? I had no idea!”

“Well, let’s say, we didn’t want to attract much attention,” Dean simply explained, looking fondly at Castiel. The latest blushed and decided it was better to get over it.

“We…This is my boyfriend, Mrs Simmons. I didn’t want to talk about it, but we’ll have to announce to the public in the future…”

“Boyfriend?! I had no idea you were in a relationship! With a handsome man at that!”

She looked genuinely happy for them, Mrs Simmons was an open-minded person, he knew she wouldn’t be shocked. Dean spoke again: “Well, I didn’t want to attract the journalists’ attention on him, really, they often spoil relationships. But now I will have to, because we are getting married.”

Her jaw hung open. Dean watched in amusement as Castiel had to pretend it was indeed true and answer her questions. He had to admit the hippie-styled woman was likeable, although she smelled suspicious. He tried to remain as vague as possible. She took Cas’s hands affectionately.

“I’m so happy for you, my dear! I guess I won’t see you much anymore after the marriage, I will miss you and little Claire.”

“We can invite you, Castiel’s friends are welcome,” Dean suggested nicely with a twinge of malice the woman couldn’t see. His future husband sent him a short dead look.

“You’re gonna marry who, Daddy?” Asked Claire once her attention was taken away from the dog.

“Huh…” Castiel looked down, out of words. Explaining Mrs Simmons about his fake marriage was one thing, but now he was faced with the fact he would have to tell Claire about it. He didn’t want to, it would make that whole ludicrous stuff too real but more of all it involved his daughter in this. A man like Dean Winchester shouldn’t ever approach his little girl. Mrs Simmons put a hand on his shoulder with compassion.

“It’s not easy to explain that kind of things to a child.”

“Yeah. She didn’t know about us, I’ll need time to explain her.”

Claire looked at him questioningly, and Castiel just handed the bag to Mrs Simmons before crouching to his daughter. “I’ll explain you later, okay? For now, be nice with Mrs Simmons, okay?”

“Why you go?”

“I have to go to work for now. Go play with Buddy, I’ll come and fetch you right when I’m over,” he instructed her. She was obviously confused when he left but he still turned his back while Mrs Simmons made her enter the house. When they entered the car, Dean saw Castiel’s head was down, he looked devastated.

“So, how are you…”

“Shut up. Don’t say a word!” Castiel snapped, not even looking at him.

The pain in his voice made Dean shut up indeed, not that he was intimidated but guilt rose again through him. He hadn’t just attacked some stupid bastard, he attacked a father, a single father raising his child alone. That’s why he had fought back, not for himself but for the little girl. He hadn’t felt that uncomfortable with himself since a long time.

A silence passed, and Dean looked at Castiel all the while. He had thousands of questions in his head, right now, and only the shame stopped him from asking. But hell, he was Dean Winchester, wasn’t he? He shouldn’t have been afraid to ask anything.

“Why didn’t you speak of her the night I proposed you?” Asked he softly. “You could have just…”

“I would hardly call it a proposal,” Castiel coldly replied.

“Whatever. You could have mentioned her back then, or at lunch, why didn’t you?”

Castiel didn’t answer anything, he seemed deep in thoughts. This was pretty unnerving, he had questions and people would usually answer the best way they could.

“Are you deaf?! Why didn’t you…”

“Because I didn’t want you to know about her. What’s the point, anyway?”

What the hell? “Maybe it was better to let me know I would have a step-daughter! I’ll have to make sure she has a room at home, thank God it’s...”

Castiel looked at him this time. “She is not coming into your house, never! This is the last time you see her!”

Dean narrowed his eyes as he understood: “You really wanted to hide her from me, indefinitely! You really intended to run.”

“No, I would have come with you, I have no choice. But I would have left her somewhere else.” He knew this wasn’t good for him but it was pointless to deny, at least he could show that man how much he despised him.

“With her mother? Where is her mom by the way?”

Castiel shook his head: “Her mother left a long time ago, I raised her on my own. I would have left her with someone else.”

This was what truly felt like a punch for Dean. It would have been legit to leave the child with her other parent, the mom, but he would rather have her stay with one of his friends rather than keep her around him?!

“The fuck is wrong with you?! You seriously intended to hide her?! You thought I wouldn’t discover? And seriously, why?!”

“Why?!” Castiel huffed in disbelief. “Why would I want to hide my girl from someone powerful who can actually ruin people’s lives over a whim, and who treats women like garbage?! Yeah, that’s a mystery.”

“I don’t treat women like garbage!”

“Oh yeah? Should we talk about Lexie and Anna again?! And you being a misogynist pig is already enough, but what if you’re violent or a perv’? How can I know you won’t prey on my daughter one day…”

“Don’t. Ever. Insinuate. That!” Dean’s rage stopped Castiel’s speech. “I’m not that kind of man! First, at that cocktail I insulted you as much as the ladies, with no regard of your genders! And trust me, a guy like me perfectly knows men can be total whores too. And more of all: I wouldn’t hurt a child, I’m not some fucking pedophile! I’m not a saint, granted, far from it, but there are things I would never do. Even when your daughter will be a grown-up, I’ll never even think of it. A step-daughter would like a daughter of my own blood. And I wouldn’t lay a hand over her either.”

Now that wasn’t what Castiel expected. He rolled his eyes: “Okay, let’s admit, you’re not a perv’. I still don’t want you around my daughter.”

“You realize that she will have to come with us. If that marriage has to be credible, then I can’t have my husband’s child living separately.”

“It’s no.”

“Castiel…”

“It’s no. You realize you’re the man who basically insulted us and expected us to just take it nicely because you’re rich and powerful. You also got me fired, tried to force me to leave the City where my life is, and even threatened my colleagues and friends who did nothing! And you think I wouldn’t mind because of your name and status? Guess what, that’s not how it works! If you treat people like that, they’ll hate you, point! Don’t expect them to trust you around their children or anything else!” He shifted a bit to turn toward him. “And among every people you hurt to get your company richer, didn’t you think that some of them might have gotten children?”

That left him speechless at first. He knew that was true, and he knew he had probably hurt people indeed. It wasn’t the first time he was reproached things, that he was blamed for his arrogance or his coldness, but he would usually brush it off. He couldn’t this time. “You know nothing about the business world, trust me. And you don’t know me as much as you think. Where would your daughter go, anyway?”

“I won’t tell you, no way.”

Anna was now out of question, Dean would think of her, same with Lexie or Zach, Dean knew about them. Who, then? Wait…There was actually one person he trusted enough and didn’t think of yet. Of course! But would he accept? And the place he lived in wasn’t the best of all. Yet for now he had no better solution.

A part of him whispered that maybe the man wouldn’t be dangerous for Claire, but he had no reason to trust him. His own childhood came back to his mind, and he couldn’t help but fear. He couldn’t take that kind of risks, there was no way he could let what happened to him happen to Claire, Dean wasn’t trustworthy. Granted, his father and Dean were very different men, but in the end they were both self-entitled and angry. He didn’t look at him at all, just glad he was silent.

Dean was looking at him however, torn between anger, hurt, and weirdly enough a sense of understanding. The man had made him think of Sam several times already, but now he made him think of John. His dad and Cas’ would defend their children with the same rage, and Dean could only admire that. Thinking of his father’s protectiveness brought him back to _that_ day, the day he and Sam almost got killed…

He didn’t want to think about that. He took a deep breath: “I won’t hurt your daughter.”

“Nothing guarantees that, abusers can pass for nice people easily, I know something about it. And even if you don’t, you could only be a bad influence for her.”

He was about to reply back when something hit him: “What do you mean by _I know something about it_?”

“That’s none of your concern.”

“Wow! Wait, you can’t say something like that and then dismiss it!”

“Actually I think I can. I just meant to say I know how abusers can be, and that’s all you need to know.”

Dean bit his lip. He knew he was trading with something difficult, right now Castiel’s reaction was one of instinct. He remembered their old dog, Betty, she was a sweetheart, but when she got her pups, she would hide them at first. It took her times to allow her humans to go near them. It was purely animal instinct to hide your offspring whenever you felt danger, and right now, Castiel felt obviously afraid. The dog comparison was maybe not flattering, but in the end, it was still the same. What should he do? He didn’t want to force the kid to come at his house but she was part of the deal too.

“Okay, we’ll talk about that later. I’ll show you the house and you’ll start moving with me. Tomorrow we’ll officially announce our marriage.”

Castiel was still horribly worried, but it was maybe better to change subject. He needed time to reflect over the situation. “You sure no one will think it’s suspect that they never heard about me?”

“Not really, I’m not really fond of social networks, I only post things I judge useful, but I keep things private about me as much as I can. I had a lot of one-night stands and I try to be discreet about it.”

“I didn’t think you would be afraid of people’s opinions.”

“I’m not!” Dean growled. “But I’m a businessman, not some Hollywood star. Newspaper should speak of my work, not of my relationships.”

Castiel shrugged but he could understand actually, he wouldn’t have liked being exposed either. Dean went on: “I’ll simply said I wanted to keep our relationship away from the media, because you weren’t used to that.”

He didn’t know whether it would work or not, but well, Dean probably knew much more about that stuff than he did. He decided to show himself cooperative, it was better not to anger the man much while Claire was in his reach. “How will it go?”

“Well, we’ll have to get you a new suit, you can’t look like some peasant. Then I’ll simply announce our wedding and you will simply act…Well, not too much like yourself, just be demure, discreet and don’t talk too much. Whatever happens, though, remember: we’ve met two years ago, at a club, and we remained discreet about it but we saw each other on a regular basis.”

“Okay.”

They reached Greenwich Village and Castiel looked at everything. It was a beautiful place, full of life, yet something bothered Castiel here. He looked around and though it would be nice to stroll through the streets, he knew he would miss his home. Dean noticed he was upset, and wondered what he could say to cheer him a bit.

“Believe me, it’s different from Queens!”

“You stepped only once in Queens, you don’t know how it is, and I liked it. I was close to the sea back there.”

He was indeed sad to leave his neighborhood, it wasn’t perfect, but he had his friends and life here. And Claire, it was her home. They eventually stopped, the house was among an ensemble, aligned with others, and strangely enough, Castiel would have imagined something bigger. Didn’t guys like Dean usually live in Mansions or something like that with a huge garden around. But now, it was still huge and the kind of place he could never afford. His own small house was nothing at all compared to it. Dean smiled at his face: “What did you imagine?”

“I don’t know. Something much more garish.”

“I’m not that kind. Anyway, this is the house my parents bought when they moved here. The Winchester company was starting to really rise, we weren’t as rich as now, so my parents were proud when they could buy this.”

Once they were in, the first thing they saw was two big forms rushing toward them. Castiel stepped back in surprise but Dean crouched. Two pitbulls licked his face and greeted him warmly, and Cas’ remembered that Dean did spoke about two dogs. One of them went to Castiel who started to back away.

“They’re nice, don’t worry.”

“Those I usually met weren’t.”

“Well, they probably had shitty owners.”

On that, he was right. The pitbulls he had met in the past were often taken and raised by thugs or mobsters to be aggressive. Those two seemed nice indeed. He didn’t want to look scared before Dean, so he allowed the beast to sniff him around, but his future husband saw he was nervous.

“You’ll get used to it.” He turned to the dogs. “Come on, guys, let us in, don’t crowd us!”

The dogs walked around, still roaming around their master who would give them some attention, though he kept looking at his guest. The dogs soon got interested in him and sniffed him without ever showing any sign of aggression. Castiel petted them shyly, and soon figured they weren’t dangerous. Obviously, their owner was still the one he would have to watch out.

Looking around, Castiel was quite pleased by the plainness of the décor. It was rich and beautiful but not too much, it was just elegant. The living room had many pictures he noticed, there was a picture of blond woman with two children and he guessed it was Dean’s mother. She looked radiant on the picture, and the two kids so innocent. He guessed the older one was Dean, he looked damn innocent. Who would have thought? It was large but not super huge either and it made him more comfortable. A gigantic place would have been too imposing. He saw a window door leading to an inner courtyard and without even thinking he went to see it.

He did that just when Dean was about to propose to show him around. He followed Castiel, quite amused at this behavior. The teacher gaped at what he saw: the inside court was quite huge for one house, but Castiel was almost saddened to see most plants were neglected, yet Spring had helped brought it to life. He stepped in, he didn’t know the plants that much, he could a few roses were growing, and there were a lot of them growing on the walls. Lilac were also adorning the white bricks and Castiel couldn’t help but thing he would have loved to see it in all its glory.

“It’s a shame this place is neglected.”

“That place was made for a family. There isn’t any in this house, not anymore,” Dean stated with some bitterness before going back inside.

_Of course you don’t have a family. You didn’t do what was needed for that!_ Was that the reason why he forced him to get engaged? Because he was alone? He followed him back inside as Dean showed him the kitchen, his office, the dining room and the second bathroom. Then he lead him upstairs and showed him around again.

“There is a little library, if you like to read.”

Castiel went to look inside and saw there were indeed many different rooms, children book included. Some were new and expensive, other looked cheap or old, this looked like the collection of an entire life. This wasn’t just a room for showing up, it was really a familial library. The room was quite small, but it looked really comfortable, there was two armchairs a wooden coffee table, and a little wood stove. It was probably a delight to sit in here and read before the fire during winter. He couldn’t help but imagine himself with his little girl here.

Dean’s voice took him out of those thoughts. “You’re a book nerd, aren’t you?”

“Apparently I’m not the only one.”

“Yeah, my parents were, and so is my brother.”

Dean remembered how he would read Sam stories in this room, he had never been really fond of books, but he had always loved to read for his little brother. 

“I’ll show you the room you can take.”

He remembered with relief that Dean had promised he would have his own room. It was a guest room, and Dean told him they called it the blue room. He could understand why, the walls were painted in light blue, curtains and the carpet were on a deeper blue, contrasting beautifully with the wooden floor. It was strangely warm even though it was in cold color. The furniture were either natural wood or white, looking pretty modern. Just like the rest of the house, it was plain, and the queen sized bed looked really inviting. He had a pretty exhausting day, and he could have been tempted to take a nap if worry wasn’t nagging him still.

“You like it?”

“That’s…Nice.”

“I’ll have it refreshed for you. Mrs Tidler probably left already, she is the cleaning lady and also the cook.”

“She doesn’t live here?”

“She is not some kind of butler. She cleans and cooks something for me to warm up the evening, and then she leaves. I’ll also ask her to prepare this room.”

He showed her a room with light green walls, which was a bit smaller but comfortable. “That’s one will be for your daughter.”

All the comfort Castiel felt vanished at this. Why that damn billionaire though he could do anything with people?! He didn’t have the right to do that to his little girl, that was the most unbearable! Dean would be like a shadow hovering over her all the time. Plus, he couldn’t just let Dean threaten him and everyone he loved like this and reward him by letting him have whatever he wanted, especially Claire!

“Neither this one nor any other. I told you I don’t want her to live here!”

“Don’t be ridiculous, she’ll be fine.”

“Listen to me: you might have me trapped, but you’re not trapping my girl! I’m her father, and I’m the one who will decide of her future!”

Although Dean had decided he would try to handle this in a diplomatic way, “And if you know what’s best for both of you, you’ll stop being a bitch! I want to be nice with you, but don’t think you can do whatever you want! Your daughter has to come with you, that’s not to be negociated!”

“It’s no!”

He started to leave, he had to go back home, warn Anna this was over, and get Claire back. Then he would get her somewhere else. But he was soon stopped by Dean who tightly grabbed his arm.

“Don’t think of hiding her. Believe me, it would do more hurt than good.” He released him: “Go, prepare your stuff, you’ll both come and settle here by tomorrow. Once again, I won’t hurt your child.”

Without a word, Castiel left, and a nagging sensation crept through Dean. People would usually obey him, from anyone else, he would have been confident that his orders would be obeyed. But with his stubborn fiance, he couldn’t tell. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't hesitate to comment, a bit more action wil come in the next chapter!


	6. The Power of Words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I knew I said there would be some action in that one, but it's actually gonna be in the next chapter, I fianlly had to change its structure.

The next day after visiting Dean’s home was a Sunday, and Castiel went with his daughter to the Mass, as he would always do, but not in their usual church. He went into a poorer street of the Queens, quite far from the one he lived in. It was familiar, though, painfully so. Castiel was holding Claire’s hand tightly, watching around him. It had been some times since he went here, and today he really needed to talk to Reverend Lowry.

Yesterday, he had went to see Anna right after leaving Dean’s house, and she had been upset, not only for him, but also for herself. She had started to be enthusiastic at the idea of having a child living with her. They moved back the stuff they had prepared, Castiel doing most of the work because Anna already did a lot, and he didn’t want to exhaust her. She told him she was still not fired yet, though, maybe Dean had renounced to that because Castiel had agreed to marry him, they weren’t sure.

The air was getting warmer and warmer, although it was still technically spring on the calendar, the summer was approaching now that the vacation had started. Some people looked at him and he knew some might have recognized him. He said ‘hello’ to a few, and glared at others who had made his life hard. He easily found the church and went in, speaking to some people he knew already.

He listened to Matthew Lowry with attention, wondering if he had seen him. The man was getting older, but he still had this charisma and that deep voice and assurance with words. It was something Castiel always tried to learn from him: to be at ease with words, it was him who taught him how powerful discourse could be. His preach was about forgiveness and all the time, while Castiel was holding Claire on his lap, he wondered if he could ever forgive Dean Winchester for everything he did. He would have to live with him for some times, he didn’t even know how long. Could he spend all of it fighting and be angry? Maybe the atmosphere of the church soothed him, but he felt like he didn’t want endless fighting. Yet would he have the choice?

When the preach was over, he took Claire in his arms, and went right to the Reverend. He was already talking to some people and Castiel intended to wait but it wasn’t Claire’s intention obviously.

“Uncle!” She exclaimed while extending her hand to him, showing she wanted to go to him.

The man noticed them and smiled. Little Claire would always call him ‘uncle’, even though they weren’t related at all, he was her godfather, but that was maybe a too complicated concept for such a young kid. He was happy to see them both. He excused himself to the people he had been talking to, and went to the young father instead.

“Castiel! I was wondering when you would visit!”

“I’m sorry! I had a lot of work before Summer vacation.”

“I guessed so, don’t worry. How are you, kiddo?” Asked he to Claire.

“I have a booboo,” she said in the sorrowful little voice she would use whenever she wanted to be pitied. She showed him a scratch she got that morning on her knee when she stumbled while walking. Her dad petted her hair: “And you didn’t cry, that was good.”

“Oh, you’re a big girl, now,” the reverend praised kindly. “You know it’s seems like she is growing up so fast, I remember when she was still taking her first steps.”

“I know, it’s quite crazy,” Castiel agreed. “When I remember how light she was in my arms as a baby, it seems like it was yesterday.”

The reverend had been one of the first people to visit when Claire was born, and Castiel wanted to make sure she could see her Godfather quite often.

“Would you like us to talk in private?”

Castiel nodded eagerly. He had taken a few toys for Claire, and she played with it in the office, laying on the carpet while her father and the reverend were talking. Just like Anna, the priest was baffled when Castiel told him what happened. He listened to everything that happened carefully, though.

“It seems like he is a man who get easily angry. And put face to face with someone like you who can’t hold his tongue, it can be dangerous.”

Castiel blushed a bit at this, the priest had often blamed him for his impulsive temper and sharp words.

“You know how to use words, you still have to learn how to hold those back when needed.”

“So, you think I shouldn’t have defended my friends?”

“Oh no, you were right. It’s before that, you should have just apologized and let go. You know, if seeing someone bump into his car had so much importance for him, then I can guarantee he is an unhappy person.”

That was true indeed. Or maybe he had just seen an occasion to show his power by demanding an apology. “For a moment, I thought of hiding Claire with Anna, but now that he saw her, I can’t. I thought of asking you, but that wouldn’t be a good idea.”

The reverend shook his head. “This isn’t possible anymore, you know it. Even when he ignored her existence, it would have been hard to hide her forever, but now…We always try the impossible for our loved ones, but I fear you won’t be able to escape it.”

Indeed, plus Castiel knew what people could imagine: a religious man with a little child who wasn’t his, there would be rumors. He didn’t want Father Lowry to be accused of anything because of him. 

Castiel sighed: “I just…I have the impression I’m throwing her to the wolves. I mean, as long as I’m around I would never let anything happen to her, but I fear that if I turn my back, he’ll take advantage of it and hurt her. And if that happens, how could I leave someone rich and powerful? I don’t care what he does to me, but I can’t let anyone hurt her.”

It wasn’t impossible, Castiel hardly knew that man, and he had no reason to trust him. But there was something else beneath it, and the reverend knew the young dad was a bit lost at protecting his daughter, probably because his mother had failed to do so, and his father…Well, Castiel’s father protected him the wrong way. As for himself he had been a surrogate a few years, that was all.

“If something happens, I can guarantee you that I would do everything to help. But for now…I’m not sure, Castiel, but I wonder if that guy doesn’t just feel lonely.”

“You think?” Well, it had been pretty obvious indeed, but was it really the reason why he had done this?

“From everything you told me, it could be that. You know, that’s the price when you’re rich: you often feel lonely. I can’t blame you for being wary, in fact you should be. But you have to keep level-headed, and letting your daughter with me would expose her to other dangers. You know your father is still around.”

Indeed, that’s something he hadn’t thought about. She wouldn’t be safe around her grandfather for sure, so if he couldn’t get her a safe second home, well, he would have to be extremely careful. He was between a rock and a hard place.

“You really think he will abuse her?”

“I don’t know! I mean maybe he will behave differently with a child, but I have no idea how he is with them, really!”

“You told me he immediately accepted her, but he was a bit panicked, though? It doesn’t seem like the reaction of a predator. I could be wrong of course, keep a watchful eye, but I know by experience that people can accuse others of perversion too easily.”

He knew what he meant by that: the reverend had been accused of pedophilia years ago, by parents who wanted to avenge themselves because Lowry had pressed charge against them for trying to steal in the church. They had eventually admitted it was a lie, but today, some people still believed those.

“I’m not accusing him, I just say if he was one, I would have no idea and that’s because he is a total stranger.” He took a deep breath, looking at the little girl who wasn’t listening to them, but babbling while playing with her toys. “I know sometimes it doesn’t mean anything. I didn’t think her mom would be the kind to abandon her child. And my mother didn’t think my father would be, well…What he became.”

“True. Try to know him, you’re in this situation, and knowing when you should fight and when you shouldn’t is maybe the best way to protect your daughter for now.”

He nodded. “It’s not just that, though. You know what happened with Ellen.”

“I remember! Having to sell her business because of that man…You know, now that I think about it, maybe God intended for something to happen if he put the two of you on the same path.”

“I don’t really believe in destiny.”

“I don’t say he traced something for the two of you, I believe He gave us free will. But maybe He gave you an opportunity to solve something from the past. Try to know him and one day maybe you can talk of what happened.”

Maybe, but he was dubitative. Though he had to admit some sort of curiosity animated him as well now, he wondered what kind of man Dean Winchester was, he had hated him before but had been unable to know him. Lowry looked at Claire and smiled.

“You know, she makes me think about you, not really the kind to throw tantrums and all, pretty quiet, except when you wanted something really bad. You remember how angry she was last Christmas when I told her she couldn’t play with the new watch you offered me?”

“Good Lord, I almost forgot!” They laughed at that. The reverend would visit him during Christmas, and last time, Castiel had offered him a watch, not very expensive, but still good, and the shiny metal had drawn Claire. When they forbad her to touch it, she had thrown a tantrum like hell, and eventually fell asleep out of exhaustion. It was rare of her to do such things, but when she would, it was something to remember!

His mind was better when he left the reverend. He would have to see Dean again today, the man had told him to retrieve him before the same restaurant at 5 pm. Why? He had no idea, but he took Claire with him this time. Mrs Simmons wasn’t here this time and anyway he couldn’t always get her to be babysitted. He wasn’t sure to remember where the restaurant was, but he remembered it wasn’t far from the Winchester Tower. Once he found it, he didn’t see Dean anywhere. Was he wrong? No, it was that place, he was sure Dean was just making him wait just to bully him a bit. It didn’t matter, he sat on a bench with his daughter and read her a little book he took along to make sure she wouldn’t be bored.

He was reading with her on his lap, not even really waiting anymore when Dean arrived. The man stopped to look at them, pretty surprised to see the little girl with him. The kid noticed him before her father, and waved her hand at him. He smiled to her and approached as her father finally realized he had arrived.

“Hi, you took your time, your majesty.”

“Sorry for making you wait, husband. You took her with you?”

“I did, I couldn’t have a babysitter, and children don’t pop out at will.”

Dean was quite annoyed but after all they could handle it. “Fine. Hey, kiddo, you’re coming with us today?”

The little girl just nodded, looking at him while playing shy. Her father kissed the top of her head and asked: “Where are we going?”

“You’ll see. Before we go, I’ve got this for you.”

Taking out a box from his car and handed it to Castiel. It was no wrapped gift, just the box of an I-phone. This made the man gape: he bought him a new phone?! Dean looked at him quizzically: “At the restaurant, I asked what you would want, and you told me about a new phone, ‘cause I had the old one broken. So here it is.”

Although he didn’t want to accept any gifts from him, he had to admit he needed a phone. And he had one here, it would have been stupid to refuse it. “Well…Thanks. Where are we going, though?”

“Well, it would be good for you to have some clothes. We’ll have a press conference, so we’d rather find you something decent to wear.”

A press conference? Oh God, he knew it would happen but he was ready for that! Dean narrowed his eyes, sensing he was scared: “You never did any of it, didn’t you? Of course not. Just agree with what I say, don’t talk much and it will be alright. Come.”

They walked toward a store, and Castiel couldn’t help but be a bit impressed, the store looked huge, and yet not much was exposed, it was all neat and soberly but richly decorated. It had some Italian style, and Castiel didn’t wonder why when he saw the brand: Dolce Gabbana. Yep, not the kind of stores he would usually go into. Dean got in first, if Castiel and his daughter had been coming in like this, they probably wouldn’t have been accepted in. A salesman advanced toward them, with a huge smile: “Mr Winchester? It’s a pleasure to see you!”

“A pleasure for me as well. I’m not coming for me, though, I’m coming for my fiancé.”

This made Castiel’s breathing itch, and he felt weirdly nervous. Fiance…Yeah well, it was true, he was engaged to Dean technically. He took Claire in his arms, not wanting her to wander around and put a mess. A small child like her in such a store was like an elephant in a porcelain shop. The man looked at him and his smile was a bit more frigid.

“Of course, come with me, sir. What would you go for?”

“A dark blue suit would be fine,” Dean simply said. “Isn’t it, darling?”

“Hum…Yeah.”

He didn’t like the way Dean was deciding for him, but as enraging as it was, Castiel wouldn’t know what to do or choose, this wasn’t his world. He had to let Claire down, if he had to try something on, he would have to let her go. One saleswoman came to her.

“Hello, dearie! She is very cute, do you want me to show her the children outfits? I’m sure we could find something for her.”

“Why not?” Asked Dean before turning to Castiel wo didn’t seem thrilled by that idea. “Let her have a look, a dress for summer could be nice after all. If you don’t like it, you can still say it.”

The saleswoman nodded and took the little girl to go with her. Castiel looked at his daughter, he never thought he would ever see her go with a saleswoman to choose something in shop like this. He discretely told Dean: “You realize I can’t pay for any of it, right?”

“Yeah, I expected that. Take it as a gift for your…Cooperation. I’ll offer it to you.” It was strangely satisfying to say that, to show him he was rich enough to buy things Castiel couldn’t hope for. He realized he loved to impress the man, maybe because he didn’t seem to be the kind to be easily impressed.

“…I guess Claire won’t appear in this press conference?”

“Of course not.”

“Good.”

Their conversation stopped as the salesman came back with three different dark blue suit. Honestly, Dean almost wished Castiel didn’t have to change. He was wearing a black tee-shirt with blue jeans pants and jacket, and it gave him a subtle rock touch, which suited him perfectly well. He looked wilder, unpolished and just…Vibrant. That word defined Castiel perfectly well. Castiel picked the one which seemed plainer to him, and went for a try.

Dean waited, he would call for a tailor for their wedding suits, but for the press conference he had to pick something quickly, it was important for it to be held as soon as possible. He would usually not go to the Tower on Sundays, he would do some of his work at home and that was all. But today he would hold the press conference in the Great Hall. It wouldn’t last long, thank God. He thought of everything he would say, when a voice interrupted his thoughts.

“Well…Here it is…”

Though he preferred the jeans, Castiel did look gorgeous in this as well. It was classic but it didn’t matter, and Castiel had some sort of natural elegance which was perfect. Dean approached him and adjusted the suit a bit, though it wasn’t really needed, he just wanted to be close to him. His fingers brushed against the fabric and the proximity with his future husband was strangely addictive. There was something just electrical, energetic, when he was close to him. He could see Castiel was making efforts to hold his gaze, though. The blue jacket compliment Castiel’s slim and yet firm body almost as well as the jeans had…

“This one’s perfect. I don’t know how the others are, but that one is great.”

“Maybe I can just try this on?”

“If you’re sure with it…”

He nodded, obviously, and Dean couldn’t help but think it was quite charming to see this man usually so rebellious and combative being almost shy. They looked at each other and the way Dean titled his head slightly made it look like they were about to kiss for a slight second. What if he kissed Castiel right now? How would he react? The man just looked away before Dean could even really try anything.

“Where is Claire? I usually don’t let her go with strangers.”

“Janice is very experienced with children, don’t worry,” the salesman told him.

The little girl wasn’t long to come back indeed. She was almost four, she was just growing aware of what she liked to wear or not, and she came back grinning with a white dress adorned with blue mandala-like shapes. Castiel smiled, she was cute indeed, but looked almost too different. He praised her though, and she went in his arms happily.

“I like it!”

“Okay, we’ll take both the dress and the suit,” Dean ordered.

“Nothing for you, sir?”

“I’ll be good for today.”

As they went out, both Castiel and Claire Were wearing their new clothes and Castiel couldn’t help but feel like they were exhibited. That wasn’t totally untrue, but only he would be exhibited today.

“Did you say ‘thanks’, Claire? Dean bought you a nice dress.”

Not that he was felling any friendly, but he wanted to give his daughter a good education and thanking people was part of it. She beamed at him and said a loud: “Thank you!”

Dean laughed at this. “You’re welcome, kiddo.”

As Dean said, Claire was presented to the reporters. She was taken by Dean’s assistant who brought her to her own office, and she would watch her while the two men would speak to the public. Of course Dean was the first to go before the journalists, and Castiel wondered how he could look so confident. Just standing in the back was already too much for him. He started saying that he knew of the rumors that circulated, and assured once again that the man who professed those was getting fired already.

“I want to state that I’m definitely against what our ex-coworker declared. We are in no way supporting any anti-LGBT movements, and myself and several of my co-workers are part of the LGBT community.”

“You declared on social media that you were in a relationship with a man, Mr Winchester, is that true?”

“Of course it is. It’s a relationship we kept secret and away from the media, my partner isn’t the kind of person who wants to be exposed. But the recent events made him change his mind about that, and this will be the occasion to introduce him to you all.”

Though he felt like he was gonna drop on his knees, Castiel advanced. He took the hand Dean extended to him quite awkwardly. It could have seemed weird but it passed for clumsiness and nervosity, after all it was obvious that man was new to the camera. “Here is my partner Castiel Novak, and also my fiancee. I’m taking that occasion to officially announce our future marriage.”

Blushing at this, Castiel could only smile awkwardly to the camera. Questions were asked ad Castiel forced himself to imagine this was a class of students and not vulture-like reporters.

“When did you meet?”

“It was about two years ago.”

“It was sometimes after my father’s death,” Dean added. “In a club, I was really down, and Castiel helped me a lot.”

“Why was it so important for you to remain hidden? Is it really because you wanted to remain anonymous?” Someone asked Castiel.

_Imagine this is just a student…You’re good with words_. “Well yes, I have to admit I was pretty intimidated at the idea of being exposed to the media, some people might find it exciting, but not me. And more especially, I was afraid to expose my daughter to it.”

This could have cut off Dean’s breathing from his lungs. That was something he didn’t see coming: Castiel talking about Claire. He recomposed himself immediately, though, and declared: “I’m actually amazed he brings her up!”

Castiel forced a smile and explained further: “Well, now that I show myself…”

“And you chose to show yourself right now?”

This time, Dean answered before Castiel could. He perfectly knew this was a trap, and he knew the best way to avoid it was to say the truth, or at least a part of it: “With those fake rumors we couldn’t think about hiding anymore, it was now or never that we had to reveal ourselves. What my ex-collaborator declared goes absolutely against everything we are. A marriage is a proof of your love before the world. We realized it was the right time for us to give that proof.”

“Indeed, and if our relationship can send a message, I’ll be proud of it,” Castiel shyly declared, pressing himself against Dean a bit furthermore. He couldn’t help but feel a slight vertigo at that subtle gesture and smiled at him, and that genuine smile was probably what finished convincing everyone of their story.

“So you’re gonna raise that child together?”

“Sure,” Dean affirmed, “I must admit it’s pretty exciting to finally move in together and live like any family.”

Questions went on but the biggest part was over. He let Dean answer most, already feeling crowded, and once the reporters were finally done, he backed away, and went in the elevator, not even sure he remembered where Dean’s office was but he didn’t care. He just wanted to be in a small space alone. Dean joined him before the gates could close, though.

“Well, it did go well. It’s funny when I think about it: you can handle an entire class of students but not this?”

“It’s different.”

“You’re actually good at this, you know?” Castiel didn’t answer, looking thoughtful, and once again, he couldn’t help but admire him, his expression, his face and more of all those intense blue eyes. Was he thinking of his daughter?

“I was surprised to hear you talk about your girl. You don’t intend to hide her anymore? So you…”

“Don’t think this is because I’m obeying you. Let’s say I just visited a friend who helped me to take a decision.”

“Who?”

“A reverend. Maybe I’ll introduce you to him one day, I don’t know.”

“Well, I guess I should thank him! What’s his name?”

“You don’t need to know that.”

“Why won’t you tell me?”

“I don’t want you to go and harass him, after all Anna didn’t benefit from meeting you.”

“Except for some bad words, I didn’t do anything to her!”

The doors opened and they stepped out, Dean leading the way toward his office. They got in and once the doors were closed, Castiel took a deep breath, he had to remember Lowry’s advices and use the right words: “About that...You also threatened to have her fired.”

“You’re afraid of what will happen to her? How about this: you kiss me, and I’ll leave her alone?”

Castiel rolled his eyes but felt a knot in his stomach. He titled his head to the side. “Dean…”

With a huff, Dean smiled hugely: “Calm down, I was joking! To be honest, I never really intended to have her fired. I only said that to scare you.” Honestly he almost wished his future husband had accepted. Well, it was better that way, he preferred his husband to kiss him willingly.

“Really?”

“I made absolutely no move against her. Honestly I had no reason to hurt her.”

This reassured him, he wondered if Dean was lying or not, but strangely enough, he believed him. After all, what was the point right now? He went toward the window and turned his back to the billionaire. He admired the view, the sun was lower now, throwing shades over the city and a softer light as well.

Advancing toward him, his future husband stared at him, there was something almost angelic in his appearance, melancholic and almost out of reality. He slowed stepped behind him and felt an impulse to touch him, to just. He thought of the way he was dancing the first time he had seen him, he had looked out of the world too, and he had been incredibly sensual too.

He extended his hands and let those slid on Castiel’s waist and started to embrace him by behind. As he was about to press them together, his future husband tore himself almost roughly out of his arms.

“What are you doing?”

“We’re going to be married.”

“I told you I didn’t want to be intimate!”

“I was just going to embrace you, no more.”

“I still don’t want it.”

Yeah, he should have expected that. They had that agreement since two days only, and Castiel didn’t feel the same desire he did. Still, it hurt to have him here and not be able to just touch him and embrace him!

Castiel turned away and decided it was better to go get his daughter and just leave. The days were long, the sun was still up, and he could still do a few things before the night came. The things he had planned to take to Anna’s house were still packed, toys, books and clothes for most. It would be easy to move Claire to Dean’s house. “Okay…Well, I’d better get Claire and go…”

“Where?”

“Home, to collect some of her things. I’ll need those once she’ll be in your home…I would like to spend that last night into my house.”

Though it was formulated like a request, it was actually a demand, Dean knew that. A demand to put distance between them, Castiel was trying to push him away furthermore, as if refusing him wasn’t enough! “Well, what if I said ‘no’?”

“It’s more reasonable, I’ll need to pack my thing as well as hers before coming to your house.”

“What for?”

“Excuse me?”

“I can buy whatever you need. You don’t need to get what’s in there back.”

“You know there is some personal stuff I want back! Seriously, why does it bother you? People knows we are about to live together, it won’t seems so incredible for me to spend one night away from you!”

“I said ‘no’. You can move your stuff tomorrow.” He approached him further and Castiel defiantly held his stare. “I might not be allowed to touch you, but remember your duty. We will spend our nights in the same house from now on. Got it.”

“…Fine.”

“Good. Now wait for me, I have some stuff to do before we leave.”

Castiel watched him as he left. _You didn’t learn already that I’m not the kind to obey easily_. Well, it seemed like he would have to teach Dean Winchester some little things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it!


	7. Situation Reversed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, here is the new chapter, longer than the others, but I didn't want to cut it! Hope you'll enjoy!

Knowing Castiel was waiting for him was quite fun, Dean knew it was immature but there was some malignant enjoyment to imagine him waiting in his office. But now that he was thinking about it, he couldn’t take too long, little Claire couldn’t stay around for too much time. Yet this matter needed to be taken care of.

He was with Charlie and a few other techs working under her orders. Yesterday, someone had tried to hack their database and though they had been able to detect the hacker and stop him from infecting their system, they still had to check everything out, in case files had been stolen or if other viruses had gone unnoticed. That’s why Charlie was working today even though she would usually rest on week-ends.

“I don’t know who the hacker is yet,” Charlie admitted. “I can tell you it’s no little player, but neither am I. For now, it seems like we managed to clean our system completely, but I still want to check out.”

“And I wanted to give you some vacation for helping me! Now I have to make you work harder.”

“Don’t worry about me. I’ll keep you updated anyway.”

“Good.”

He didn’t stay with her for any longer, he knew some things about computers but he was far from having Charlie’s talents. As he left, she got up from her chair though.

“Dean?” He turned to her, they were alone in the corridor, but he knew by her face that she wanted them to speak alone. They got into an empty office and she bit her lip.

“That guy…You really want to go on with that marriage thing?” She was one of the very few people who knew that was a scam of course, since she was the one who hacked Castiel’s Data to get back the conversation he recorded. Dean crossed his arms.

“I do, I wouldn’t have announced it to the press otherwise. Why?”

“…I know why you’re doing it, and on a business level, it makes sense. But do you really think it will play out well?”

“You’re blaming me?”

Though she was the only person in that building to call Dean by his first name instead of ‘Boss’ or ‘Mr Winchester’, she was still a bit intimidated by him sometimes. Yet this wasn’t the time to back off.

“You have him cornered, you know that? You know how wrong it is.”

“It’s not as if I was gonna take advantage of it to coerce him in my bed, you know! And he could benefit from it, really. And if he eventually wants us to divorce, we will, we just have to keep it going for sometimes, after that he can leave.”

“Does he know about that?”

Wait…That was something they indeed didn’t speak about. He did tell Castiel they wouldn’t have to be intimate but he didn’t tell him he could eventually leave. It had all been done in such a short time he didn’t think about this. “I will have to talk to him about it.”

“Yeah, it would be better! I guess you wanted to do that thing: keeping your friend close and your enemy closer; but if that guy really thinks he is cornered with no issue, he might actually do something dangerous, especially since he has a child. And anyway, holding that guy against his will, you know it’s wrong.”

“What if I can make him like that life?”

She was a bit taken aback, when it dawned on her: Dean actually had a thing for the guy! It could be for the best and it could be for the worst when power and feelings were mixed. “How do you intend to do that?”

No employee would have dared to go that far, and he could have told Charlie to mind her business, remind her he was still her boss. But there were times they weren’t in that work-related dynamic anymore. Anyway, he wanted to talk, he needed to.

“I don’t know to be honest, it all went so fast. Usually, when you want to seduce people, money can help a lot but I’m not sure it will work with that one.”

“I might sound cliché but money can’t buy love.”

“Very cliché indeed,” he replied with a smile, making her grin too.

“Cliché but true. You need to know him, and he needs to know you. I didn’t have such a good opinion of you when we first met. It changed over time”

They went in the same college indeed, and though Charlie and he hardly shared common classes, he had noticed the girl, and he had seen she didn’t like him. But when she had asked for a job, he had given it, because he knew she was good at what she did.

He sighed: “What you say makes sense, I know it. But sometimes it’s…I don’t know, maybe I should have had more serious relationships in the past.”

“Yeah, it kinda helps…You really never had a long-term relationship?”

He didn’t reply, but the answer was obvious. That was maybe the problem: Dean had learned to socialize, to handle business conversations, he had learned to use his charisma and seduce, but holding long-term relationships…

“Dean…”

“I’ll join him, I guess I left him hanging for too long. Don’t overwork yourself, I don’t want my best tech to vanish.”

He left her with a smile, but she was a bit disappointed. She felt like they had got close to something Dean didn’t really want to speak about. She had a feeling about it, a lot of people thought Dan was just a heartless player, and she thought so too at a time. But as she grew to know him, she suspected that something might have happened to him, something which had left a wound. It could have been simply his mother’s death, that would traumatize any child, but she was persuaded there was more. Well, now wouldn’t be the time for confessions it seemed.

At least she was reassured: it didn’t seem like Dean had bad intention toward that Castiel dude. Although he was her friend she knew he could be ruthless, and she had feared for the teacher. She would still keep an eye on them. Although she didn’t show anger, she was aware Dean was doing something screwed up, yet getting him angry wasn’t the best thing to do, neither for her nor for Castiel. She went back to work, determined to find the hacker.

Dean went back to his office, expecting Castiel to greet him with an angry speech, maybe some yells. Silence greeted him instead. It was empty.

What the…Wait, maybe he went to Dean’s assistant to retrieve his kid? But when he went to her, she explained him he and Claire had left a long time ago. Fuck! He left the building, furious, knowing his fiancé was probably in his shitty house in the Queens.

The ride wasn’t that long, thank God he didn’t get much traffic. He found the house without much difficulty, and once he got out of the car, he heard loud sounds of music. A party was taking place in a house on the other side of the street, he could see people at the windows holding beers and all. Some noticed Dean’s car, but he didn’t care. He went to Castiel’s door and tapped.

No answer. Was he hiding?

He tapped again, and focused on the sounds. It didn’t seem like there was any sounds inside, but now the party nearby wasn’t helping. There were also no lights coming from the inside. He wasn’t home…

Dean’s breathing was shaking a bit now: where did he go? To that Mrs Simmons? Was he hiding his daughter for good? No, he spoke of her to the reporters, he wouldn’t. But for fuck’s sake, why couldn’t he obey?! _Because he isn’t the kind_. He sighed: they had known each other for a few days only, and Castiel was already swirling his head around. Those confrontations, seeing him enter his office with an open lip and hearing he had beaten two of his men, then that thing with his daughter and bringing him home…Talking to the reporters, seeing his company being hacked, he had still been in control, it was stuff he could deal with. But now, he felt lost, he was in that unknown street and didn’t know what to do.

Whatever, it didn’t matter where he would go, he would have to come back to him! Dean would show him!

Then as he turned back to his car he saw Castiel walking out of the house where a party was occurring. He wasn’t wearing his new suit anymore, but the jeans he had before he entered the store. With a frown, he approached his betrothed, relieved and angry at the same time.

“Why did you sneak away?!”

“You really need to ask? And I didn’t _sneak away_ , I simply left.”

Dean was about to answer when noises took his attention. He stared at the house and noticed more and more people were gathering to look at them. “You didn’t want to miss that party?”

“No, it’s not for that. Honestly I didn’t even know there would be one. Pacome is simply throwing it because he got a promotion at his job. But now we’re also celebrating my engagement, they’re happy for me even if they can hardly believe it.”

“…Where is Claire?”

“Inside, with the other kids.” At Dean’s great astonishment, Castiel took his hand and started pulling him. “Come with me. After all, I should introduce my future husband to my friends. Mrs Simmons is already here, you’ve met her already. Or you can stand here and wait for me.”

Though he wanted to yell at him, he held himself, people were looking at them, and he just pulled Castiel back toward him. “What kind of party is that?”

“Just a party between friends and neighbors. You said I had to act loveable toward you, didn’t you? Well, promise you won’t insult my friends, and I will.”

“Stop bargaining with me!”

“Stop being an ass and I’ll consider it.”

He really wanted nothing but pin him against his car or a wall, and remind him who the boss was, and then…Dirty images flashed through his mind. Yet this wasn’t the moment, he had to go on with the act. It was hard to keep collected but he did and followed him. Castiel kept his hand in his, and they both smiled. His friends were whispering among one another. This time, he would be the one taking Dean out of his comfort zone.

“Guys, here he is!”

“No, so it’s fucking true!”

“I told you! And I told you he was handsome!” That was Mrs Simmons, she was at a window, smiling carelessly. Castiel and Dean approached and Cas’ had this little satisfied smile: “Guys, this is my future husband, Dean Winchester.”

Damn, he was a good actor actually. When he had been back home, his friends had asked many question, and he would have thought they would have gone dry. Not really. They greeted Dean and soon asked questions too, and Castiel watched in amusement as Dean was a bit taken off balance: this time he was the stranger taken out of his comfort zone. Yet at his credit he did remain composed and even charming. He shook hands with the people throwing the party, Sally and Pacome.

“That’s a Greek name, am I right?”

“Indeed,” Pacome replied, “I was born in the US but my family comes from Corfu.”

“I went there once when I was a kid,” Dean commented.

“Really?”

The two spoke about Greece, Pacome had only been there at scarce occasions. Castiel sat with another couple of friends, drinking a beer along with them. Claire was playing with Sally and Pacome’s son for now, and he could watch her from where he was. Yet for now he watched as Dean accepted a beer and continued to speak with some people. Others were dancing but Cas’ didn’t feel like joining them for now. As it went on, a Bon Jovi song echoed: _You Give Love A Bad Name_

“Oh come on, not that one!” Someone protested.

“You’re kidding, he got some hell of good songs,” Dean replied.

“On that we agree,” Mrs Simmons added, going next to Dean, as some more people danced. “Come on, you’re taking my two sweethearts away to Greenwich Village, you owe me a dance.”

Dean huffed, but nodded: “Alright.”

She took him with her among the dancers and started to move along with him, telling him how he reminded her of her husband.

“Among all of us who had long hair he was the only one keeping his short, he said he didn’t like to have long hair coming in his eyes,” she told him.

She had probably been gorgeous when she was young, he could guess it. He wondered what her husband had looked like. Claire went to her dad, wanting his attention, and Castiel stood up to dance with her a bit. He made her swirl round and showed her little steps, and she was overjoyed, laughing loudly. Dean had to admit that even though he could feel many stares on him, the atmosphere was quite nice. He had rarely been in such kind of parties, it was usually more cocktails, or clubs. Another girl danced with him, quite excited to think she was dancing with a billionaire. At the next song, Dean decided to go to Cas’. He was the one who brought him here, well now he would have to go on with the act.

He took Castiel’s arm gently: “Mind to put your daughter down for a bit? I want to dance with you.”

Out of words, Castiel did comply, aware that a refusal would be weird. Oh hell, Dean had better not touch him in an appropriate way! As they started to move together, Dean forgot his anger. Some of his moves could just drive him crazy, simple little move, like the way he would let his head swirl slowly while his eyes were closed, or how his hips would sometimes sway in a subtle way, he wasn’t like a lot of guys who felt awkward when they moved, he was just natural, and Dean loved that. He danced close to him, without ever touching and his eyes just spoke for him. He moved along with Castiel, showing as well a natural easiness and playfulness. At a point, Cas’ couldn’t miss the looks Dean gave him, and of course couldn’t constantly look away from him, the way he moved, the way his proximity somehow teased. He was expecting something to happen, but it wouldn’t, Dean would just move close to him.

All of sudden, Dean leaned toward him and Castile thought for a second he was going to kiss him but the man backed away with a teasing smile and Castiel huffed in relief and amusement; people around though this was just a lovers teasing. Then Dean took him by the hand and drew him closer again, Castiel allowed him to do so, he was feeling safe in spite of everything. They continued to dance, eyes locked, their pride stopping them from looking away.

It only stopped when Claire came back at her dad and he took her in his arms. She was obviously tired and she went to sleep in the same bed as Pacome’s son who was also starting to be tired. After that, he just took a beer and saw Dean was talking with Mrs Simmons again. The next hour went well, Dean did kept his part of the ‘deal’ and was pretty cool. He wouldn’t have admitted it to Castiel, but it actually did him some good. It took his mind away from work and the hacking attempts, it was even a nice change to talk to new people, different form the ones he was used to.

Eventually, Castiel told other people they would leave before inviting Dean to the kitchen where no one was around. “You want some times alone with me?” he maliciously asked.

“You’ve made an exploit: they all think you’re a great guy.”

“I can be likeable when I want.”

Castiel rolled his eyes and smirked: “We’ll sleep in my home tonight.”

“What?!”

“It’s too late to drive back to Greenwich Village and we both drank a bit. So we’re going to sleep at my house. After all you said we would spend our nights in the same house. You didn’t say it had to be yours.”

“Have you seen your house, and have you seen mine?”

“Come on, you see we aren’t actually living in barns and all, even peasants like us can have decent homes.”

Dean gritted his teeth, but he had to admit he was tired indeed and maybe it was better to sleep close-by. _Come on, a bed is a bed after all_. Castiel said goodbye to his friends and went to fetch Claire. The child was sleeping already, she didn’t even bother to open her eyes when her father scooped her in his arms and crossed the street along with his future husband. They got in and Dean looked around. It was modest, sure, but not bad. There were a lot of books, not expensive at all and old for most, the TV was small, the couch was a bit worn out, but otherwise he had to admit that it was not bad. More importantly it was clean.

He could see Castiel had started to pack and he felt a bit reassured and weirdly thrilled about this. It could end up in a disaster and he knew it, but he was weirdly happy to know those two would come and live with him.

“I’ve got a spare room for you. It’s rarely used, but you should be fine in here.”

He left to go and put the sleeping child in her bed, leaving Dean alone in the living room. He looked around and more of all he watched the pictures. Most of those were of Claire, but there was also an unknown woman with dark hair. There was also one of a woman at a bar counter with a blond pre-teen girl, one of a group of teenagers; one seemed to be Castiel himself. Probably him and some High-school friends, it reminded him of his own time in school. He had been able to grow popular soon but was also feeling quite alone at the same time. He was never able to tell who wanted to get close because of his father’s money and who was sincere.

“Follow me.”

Castiel’s voice took him out of his thoughts. When he saw the room, he couldn’t help but feel like he was being mocked. He was Dean Winchester, and here he had a small room which had a bed and also seemed to serve to store a bit of everything. Yet when he turned to Castiel, the man didn’t seem like he was laughing at him.

“Seriousy?!”

“Yeah. That’s all I have, except for the couch.”

“We could share the same bed,” Dean suggested with a hint of lust. “I wouldn’t touch you, promise.”

“You seriously thought I would say ‘yes’?”

Dean snorted, indeed he didn’t have much hope. “You know, people would find it suspect if we didn’t sleep in the same bed.”

“I’m pretty sure they won’t check out whether or not we slept together.”

“There is no way I’m sleeping in that room.”

“Come on, people won’t know what we do inside, but if they see you leave now, they will wonder, and you wouldn’t want them to know you’re refusing to sleep in my house because it’s too modest for you? That would sound snobbish, and not quite like a man who would choose a lowly teacher to share his life.”

It was enraging because he knew somehow this was true. They had to appear like a loving couple and actually spending the night at Castiel’s house with people who could witness him leave in the morning was a good show. “You could at least leave me your bed, isn’t it what people do for guests?”

“For wanted guests maybe. Anyway, this is fine, you’ll see.” Castiel started to walk away: “Just be careful of the cockroaches, there are a few.”

“What?!”

“Just kidding! It’s clean inside, have a good night.”

And it was true, there was no cockroaches in here. Yet he was pretty sure Dean would think of it all night. He got in his room with a satisfied smile Dean couldn’t see.

**O o O**

Truth to be told, this wasn’t really Dean’s worst night, but he hadn’t felt comfortable. Not that the bed itself was really bad, but it was a house and even a street he didn’t know at all, and God, he had thought of cockroaches several times. He was awoken quite early, but remained in bed, relaxing; he had been sleeping in his boxer only, it was warm enough outside. Yet soft sounds soon draw his attention.

“Dad! Daddy!”

With the little girl’s voice came sound of soft banging against a door. Dean stood up and rubbed his face, he expected to hear Castiel open his door but nothing came; He put on his pants quickly, not wanting the kid to see him in his underwear and exited the room. Claire was at her father’s door, trying to open it, but she was still a bit too small, and she looked at the verge of crying. What was her dad doing? She looked at him with hope.

“Hey, kid, what’s going on?” Asked he in a yawn, more for himself than her.

The child didn’t answer but watched as Dean opened the door and got in. He stilled in the doorframe for a second, his heart missing a beat. Castiel was lying on the bed with his eyes open, and his body completely still. Was he…

Dean approached and saw with relief that he was breathing. But why the hell was he completely still? He looked at Dean in a strange way but made no move at all. “Hey, what are you doing?”

Castiel didn’t answer, still unmoving, Dean grabbed the man’s shoulder, and started to shake it, and at this moment, the man’s body shook very slightly and he finally moved, slowly at first, and after a few blinks, he sat up, and rubbed his face.

“What the hell, didn’t you hear your daughter?”

“’m hungry, daddy!”

Castiel nodded. “I heard, but I couldn’t answer.” His voice was coarser than usual, and he stood to take his daughter’s hand. They went in the kitchen and Dean watched Castiel prepare her corn flakes and orange juice. “You drink coffee in the morning?”

“Yeah,” Dean simply answered, sitting and showing he wasn’t about to help. He already had a bad night! But he wondered what the hell happened earlier. Though he didn’t help Castiel prepare breakfast, he watched that the little girl wouldn’t make a mess. It reminded him of Sam, when they were little he would often take care of him.

Castiel put two cups of coffee on the table and as Dean took his, he finally asked: “So, what was that?”

“Ever heard of sleep paralysis?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Well, that’s it. You wake up, you’re paralyzed, it can last a few seconds or some minutes.…Being touched by someone can help you go back to normal.”

“Okay, I’m not sure I get it, why are you paralyzed?”

“Well, your body does something simple while you sleep: it paralyzes you so you won’t reproduce the same moves as in your dreams and it naturally stops when you wake up. But sometimes, even when your mind is awake, even if your eyes are open and you’re aware you’re not sleeping anymore, the paralysis remains.”

“That’s freaky! Does it happen every morning?”

“It hadn’t happened in a long time, but well, it’s not as if I didn’t know what’s happening.”

He didn’t speak of it anymore, and neither did Dean. “You won’t go to work?”

“I’ll tell them I’ll arrive later.”

“Okay. This time I’ll be the one treating you, I guess. Eggs?”

“That will do.”

He was still angry when he thought of yesterday and how he made him sleep in that small room. But weirdly, seeing him cook for the two of them dissuaded him from starting an argument. He didn’t want to argue right in the morning, and he almost felt flattered that the man was bothering to make him breakfast, he didn’t expect that. Castiel served the eggs with a sigh.

“I guess I should finish packing today?”

“Well, we could load my car with what you already have prepared and show your kid the house.”

“That’s fine as well.” He put down his daughter who had finished her breakfast and she immediately went to fetch something. “I painted som’thing with Nanny!”

“That’s Mrs Simmons,” Castiel explained, though Dean had guessed what she meant. She proudly showed it to Dean, it was mainly a big mess of colors on a sheet of paper, and he praised it. He then turned to Castiel: “You know, when I met that Mrs Simmons, she actually had a funny smell. Not bad, but not the kind you would want for a babysitter.”

“She is not a junkie if that’s what you imply. She is just an old hippie, and she never smoke whenever Claire is around. And trust me, some nannies who looks perfectly respectable are actually monsters under the surface, it means nothing.”

“On that we agree.”

Cas’ frowned when he saw the shadow passing over Dean’s traits, almost like he wasn’t here anymore for a brief instant. A memory? He didn’t know but his future husband recollected himself immediately. “I’ll finish dressing up.”

“Fine.”

The drive to Greenwich Village was pretty relaxed, they spoke a bit, mostly to Claire who was asking a lot of questions. She looked around, completely taken by those new surroundings. But that was nothing compared to the two dogs. Castiel took his daughter in his arms, still careful even though the two pitbulls were still greeting them joyfully and nicely.

“Wanna play with the doggies, daddy!”

“They won’t hurt her, don’t worry,” Dean declared.

“I’d prefer them to calm down first, they’re still big!”

Indeed, the dogs weren’t mean but excited and they wanted nothing but to play. “Sit down, you two! Sit!”

His voice was firm, but he wasn’t yelling. They obeyed and Castiel eventually put his daughter down. Dean crouched as she approached the dogs, her father still behind her, ready to recollect her in his arms at the first sign of aggressiveness. Dean took her hand gently.

“Okay, with dogs you have to let them sniff your hand first before petting them. Like this.”

He approached her little finger toward the dog’s nose and her dad had a hard time staying still. The dogs sniffed her gently and she giggled but took her hand away, shy even if though she wanted to go to them.

“That’s one’s Jasper, and the other one is Sasquatch.”

“Sawatch!”

Both Castiel and Dean grinned at this. The two dogs mostly sniffed her but they remained gentle. Looking at their master, Castiel couldn’t help but feel lighter: if he had raised those dogs to be nice, then it revealed some of his personality. He was maybe not as dangerous as he feared, in fact the way he was looking at Claire, genuinely flattered and happy she liked his dogs was also reassuring.

“Oh, it’s our newcomers?”

An athletic middle-aged woman arrived looking at Claire, and Dean stood up. “This is my fiancé, Castiel Novak, and his daughter Claire. Cas’, meet Mrs Tidler.”

“She is adorable!”

She greeted Castiel and her boss first, and then crouched to the child: “Hello, little one! I’m Mrs Tidler, but you can call me Sue, I prepared a room for you, do you want to see it?”

She just nodded, a bit overwhelmed by everything, and raised her arms to her dad to be carried again. He complied and followed Sue Tidler who was happily telling him she was enthusiastic at the idea to have a child around, and told him about her own children who were older than her. She opened the light green room Dean had showed him yesterday and Castiel could see that the bed was now adorned with pink linen and with a purple transparent canopy with golden stars hanging from the ceiling. He couldn’t help but gape at this. As for Claire, she almost jumped from her father’s arms and on the bed, declaring it was like one of a princess. Castiel was pretty sure Dean had planned that so he couldn’t say ‘no’ anymore, and it was true it would have been hard after seeing Claire rolling on the bed like that.

“When did you do that?”

“Saturday, after you left the house. I asked Sue to go and buy some linen for your daughter, and she also had the idea to buy this too. It was very easy to install.”

“You like it?” Asked she with pride.

“Very much, thank you. As for Claire, I think her reaction speaks for itself.” Sue nodded, giggling a bit. He didn’t want to disappoint the woman, she knew nothing and it had been kind of her. His attention was reported to his daughter who started jumping on the bed; he stopped her immediately.

“Don’t do that! I already told you, you don’t jump on beds. Listen, sweetie…This will be your room, now. This is our new house.”

He explained her they would live her and she was confused at first, then a bit sad for her old house, and then she was also happy because she would see the dogs and have this new room. She walked around with enthusiasm, wanting to touch everything, and her dad, Dean and Mrs Tidler had to watch her very carefully and stop her many times before she could break anything.

“It’s like a castle here!” She exclaimed happily

“She is adorable! She is very lively, and she talks really well for her age,” the woman praised.

“Thank you.”

It was obvious he was flattered, beaming with pride even. Dean left, telling them he wouldn’t be here for lunch. Castiel just nodded, he was actually a bit relieved. Sue helped him settle what they took of Claire’s things in her new room, it didn’t take long at all.

“Today will be more special, Mr Winchester told me to help you two settle. We could also buy other furnitures, some which would be more kid like.”

“That one isn’t bad,” Castiel pointed out. It was true the wooden furniture wasn’t the kind you would usually think of for a child, but it wasn’t bad either and Claire didn’t care.

“Dean told me you would sleep in the same room, the blue one is just in case.”

“Oh yeah, indeed.”

It was a lie but he was glad Dean thought of that. They chatted happily, Castiel asking her a lot of questions so she would talk about herself instead of trying to learn about him.

**O o O**

It had been a satisfying and difficult day: satisfying because the hacking attempt had been reported and Charlie had been able to tell Dean there had been no files stolen and their informatics system was clean. Now they just had to find that son of a bitch. The difficult part was focusing; outside of the hacker thing, he had to deal with many things, and it had been hard to put his mind fully at it. What happened last night was just…Dear God, he had felt humiliated and on the other hand he had been unable to get angry. First because there had been people watching and that weird sleep paralysis thing, and then he didn’t want Sue Tidler to think they were unhappy together. And with Claire around on top of that! But now, what should he do? Sam would have known, he was sure of it. He wished his little brother was here to actually help him.

Anyway, Charlie was right: he should spend more time with him, try to know the guy better. He had made sure those rumors would be pawned, Castiel’s record of their conversation would never be heard, and now the man’s defiance would pass for a disguised lover’s quarrel. But he wanted more, from the very beginning. It had been confusing, even for him, he just knew he wanted more. When he got home, he got in the couch, sighing, Jasper and Sasquatch greeted him as usual, and remained at his side for some pats and cuddles. He heard footsteps and was almost surprised. It was usually silent when he would go home, save for the dogs. He saw Castiel coming downstairs and he smiled.

“Happy to see you’re where you’re supposed to be. Where is Claire?”

“Sleeping, it was time for her.”

Ah yeah, thank God he didn’t make much noises. He looked at his phone, and smiled: “Seems like our conference had its success. Tweets and articles.”

He showed him the news and indeed, and Castiel saw that some newspapers were praiseful, but others…

“That one says it’s gonna kill our values.”

“A conservative one, what else could we expect?”

“And this one says we are just doing that to prove something.”

“Well that’s what we said in a way, isn’t it? We’re showing our love to prove something to the world. I don’t expect this to be a success with everyone, nothing is ever one hundred percent successful with the public. The most important is that it will ma ethos rumors unbelievable for most.” Dean grinned slyly. “You sound worried about it.”

“I’m into this, am I not?”

“Indeed, even if you tend to forget it.”

Castiel rolled his eyes: “I’m going to my room; I’m not hungry.”

He just left, one of the dogs followed him at first but soon returned to his other companion. He had to admit he kinda liked his blue room, it was strangely soothing with the warm light. He looked outside, he could see the street and had to admit he somehow missed the Queens. It felt homely, this place wasn’t his world. Sighing, he took his new phone and decided to pay some attention to what was said in the media. Some indeed praised their courage, praised their modernity and somehow Castiel felt good about it, thinking that it could send a good message. But others just said it was a pathetic thing with a male Cinderella to conquer the public.

Male Cinderella...That was stupid, Dean didn’t save him from his abusive family, and he didn’t have such a bad life before meeting him! Everyone focused on the fact he would go from poor to rich, but he wasn’t that enthusiastic. Yes, having nice things was all good, but would it be all? Honestly, it would soon grow old if he had nothing else to hope for. He was totally absorbed in his thoughts when he heard footsteps but didn’t move at all.

“You’re thinking about your new popularity, aren’t you?”

Dean’s voice. Apparently he was bored.

“Whatever.”

He could hear him approach and yet refused to turn round. “Don’t ever humiliate me like you did yesterday, leaving in spite of my orders.”

“Did you seriously expect me to wait for you for hours?” Castiel sneered. “Those two downstairs, Jasper and Sasquatch, they’re your dogs. Don’t think you have a third one here.”

Silence passed after that declaration, Castiel still refusing to look at him, while his future husband devoured him with his eyes. Dean approached him further, their bodies almost touching. “Can I hug you this time?”

“Why would you want that?” He was pretty surprised by such a request.

“I just want to.”

Castiel didn’t turn away from the window and didn’t say anything, just shrugged. This time, he was weirdly curious to see what would happen. Dean passed his arms around him, and pressed his future husband’s back against his chest and put his chin on Cas’s shoulder. He closed his eyes and allowed himself to bask in that moment, to know he was holding him, pressing his body against his own. There was nothing sexual, and he didn’t want that to change for now. He enjoyed the simple hug, even if he doubted Castiel did.

“Are you hurt? After what happened with my men, I want to be sure you’re okay.”

“They could never hurt me the way you did.”

“I don’t know whether or not that should upset me or flatter me.”

“The simple fact you wonder is tale-telling.”

He tightened his grip around him. “You’re still angry.”

“What else did you expect?”

“Nothing else.”

Castiel huffed in disbelief, watching his and Dean’s reflection on the window. “It doesn’t matter to you that I hate you?”

“It does. But you see, sometimes honest hatred is better than fake love.”

“Dear God, you must be desperate!”

“True. But you know the feeling don’t you?”

Castiel smirked bitterly and turned round, remaining in Dean’s arms. They were so close their foreheads were touching. “I was, when Claire’s mother abandoned us. But I never forced anyone to stay with me. I always respected myself and the others.”

“Aren’t you an angel,” Dean whispered.

“Compared to you? Maybe.”

He pushed Dean away gently but firmly and started to walk away. He would check out on Claire, maybe. Anything as long as he was away from him. Dean grabbed his wrist.

“You’re still scared, aren’t you?”

“You would be scared too if you were in my stead.”

“There is something I will give you, then.”

Frowning, Castiel watched as Dean pulled something out of his jacket and frowned when he saw a knife. The man tried to pull away, thinking he was going to cut him. Instead, Dean put the blade in his hand.

“Take it. You’ll give it back the day you’ll trust me.”

And he left Castiel here, returning to his office.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it


	8. Family Matters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, here is the new chapter! This one is less longer but still eventful.

One of the first things Castiel did that morning was to know where the closest local swimming pool was. He decided to take Claire there as soon as Dean left. Dean had left a set of keys for him, which was definitely welcome.

Claire enjoyed the pool like crazy, there were stuff for kids of course, and she played with a few kids after her father had spent some times teaching her how to swim. Of course she was just clumsily moving for now, it would take times before she could actually swim on her own, but it was good to start teaching her now. At least she liked that pool, and if she could start making friends around, it was for the best. He discussed a bit with the other parents, one recognized him and congratulated him for his marriage. He made his embarrassment pass for nervousness due to his exposure to the public.

When he went home, he found Mrs Tidler preparing her own lunch, she had done the cleaning and would still have a few cores, preparing the dinner for the evening among those. “Hi, I prepared something for you two!”

“Thank you! You shouldn’t have though.” He was quite uneasy at the idea to have someone doing that for him.

“It’s my job! How are you sweetheart?” Asked she to Claire

“Went to the pool!”

“I’m teaching her to swim.”

The three of them ate together in the kitchen, something that was unusual for her, Dean would usually go to the dining room while she would eat here.

“You’re adjusting well?”

“Well, I must admit I will miss the Queens, especially because I was close to the ocean.”

“Ah yeah, that’s one of the disadvantage here, you don’t have this here. But honestly there is a lot of great stuff around, I love it here.”

“I didn’t have much time to really visit yet. But I will.”

They discussed a bit yet, and the conversation eventually went to her previous bosses. “I must say they were really difficult, everything had to be a certain way and if I made the slightest mistake, Dear God I would definitely hear about it! At least here, I’m less pressured.”

“Dean isn’t a harsh boss? I mean, I’m not blind to the fact he can be arrogant sometimes,” he added, remembering he was supposed to be in love with the guy.

“He is okay, especially compared to my previous bosses, here I get a thank you or a praise from time to time, all they could do was nitpicking. I really wondered why they were together, actually. They had separate rooms, they wouldn’t even share their beds anymore. Though you and Dean do have separate rooms too.”

Castiel opened his mouth at this and she put her hand over hers. “Sorry! That was intrusive of me, I should mind my own business.”

“It’s okay. Let’s just say that since Dean will sometimes come home late, I get that room just to be sure he won’t wake me up. We do share the bed otherwise, but recently with everything we had to do, I really need to sleep fully at night.”

“I understand, moving away can be really tiring. And you also have to deal with other stuff.”

“Yeah, it’s a total change, it’s kinda weird.”

“I imagine.”

In spite of her slightly nosy personality, he liked her. Once they were done eating, he played a bit with Claire and got her to bed for her afternoon nap. She had spent a lot of energy in the swimming pool, and he bet she would sleep for a long time. Well, he would have to kill some times, Sue was here to work, he couldn’t talk to her all the time. He could read, after all there was an entire room dedicated to that here. Or…He passed before the inner court, with the desolated garden.

He went in the court, it wasn’t huge but you could guess it had been well taken care of at a time. Many pots and different tools were here, and garden trellis on the walls to allow ivy, roses, jasmin and lilac to grow up. Who took such a good care of it before it got abandoned? He didn’t know but it was sad to let it die. Claire’s room opened on the garden, if she called, he would hear, anyway she wouldn’t wake up before an hour or two. He didn’t know much about gardening, but maybe there would be a book in the library? He found several indeed, and he took one with him.

He spent the next two hours reading, gardening and checking up on Claire. It was incredibly relaxing to be in that inner yard bathed in the sun, spring leaving to let place to a rising summer. No one was here to interrupt him, he was alone and yet surrounded by those silent growing beings waiting for nothing but growth. Watering, cutting, replanting even, reading and cleaning, this completely took his mind away. It felt good to know he was helping giving those plants fresh air, that he was growing something, growing beauty, and with no pressure. He was just feeling earth in that gigantic city of concrete, and it was soothing. Satisfaction filled him as the work progressed; he liked to learn about gardening.

At a point, he took a break to drink some water, and Sue told him it was good someone was taking care of the plants. 

“I don’t know how to garden, but Dean never asked anyway. I must say I’m impatient to see how your work will grow!”

“Thank you, I’m pretty new to that.”

He was about to go back there again when the door opened and he was surprised to see Dean coming back home.

**O o O**

Though Dean’s morning was agitated, it was nothing worse than usual. When he was in his office, Marc, his advertising agent, came to him with a smile.

“You know that your declaration was mostly a success!”

“I know, I watched the news.”

“People are impatient to see your marriage. I know you didn’t want to do it right now, but it would be for the best.”

He hesitated. On one hand, he knew he should know Castiel better, maybe take things slow. On the other hand, they were gonna live like a married couple already, so what difference a ceremony would really make? And weirdly enough, that would just make him feel more secure, to know that Castiel would be his. But there was something else stopping him.

“The anniversary of my father’s death…It will be in a few weeks. Five weeks more exactly. I don’t want my marriage to happen close to it.”

It wasn’t that close, but he guessed that for Dean, it was only in a few weeks as he said. “It’s more than a month. If we can prepare your marriage in a few days.”

“I’m not an expert, but doesn’t it take longer?”

“For a guy like you, I’m pretty sure we can fasten things up. I bet I can settle that in two weeks, ten days maybe. It would be better for us to settle it soon, while the public has its eyes on you.”

“I guess so. Okay, you and I will have work to do! Also…”

He hesitated and finally asked: “You are married to a man…How do you handle everything?”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m not exactly an expert when it comes to long-time relationships. And I haven’t known that guy for long.”

Marc didn’t know everything about Castiel, just that Dean was single and found some kind of arrangement with a guy. He didn’t know the details, though.

“Ah, I see. Well…It really depends on people, everyone is different, so I can’t exactly say; Kevin and I we try to make sure we still can spend some time together, even if it’s only for a quick lunch or stuff like that. We still try to have projects together, like preparing our next vacations. Sometimes, I must say I enjoy the preparation more than the vacation itself, because we are planning it together. You really want things to work between you and that guy? It won’t be just a façade thing?”

“While I’m at it, I might as well try.”

The lunch thing wasn’t a bad idea. He couldn’t do it today, it was a bit too late, Castiel was probably making Claire eat already, but he could try that tomorrow. He decided he would come home sooner, though. He would take some work at home with him, so even though he would be in his office, he would be around Castiel and Claire. It wasn’t the first time he would do that, there were times he would work from home.

When he came back, he saw Castiel and Mrs Tidler walking through the living room, and while she smiled to him, his future husband seemed surprised.

“Hey, honey,” he said with a mischievous smile. “I’m gonna do some of my work from home, so we can see each other.”

“Oh, that’s a good idea,” Castiel replied, a bit uneasy, remembering it was in their agreement he had to act loving in public. “Hum, how was your day?”

“Okay, and you?”

“Fine, I did some work in the garden…”

“What?!” Dean’s face suddenly changed and he went to the window doors and looked outside. Castiel frowned, he expected Dean to be surprised but this was weird. It was like Castiel had told him he broke Dean’s car. The man just paid told Mrs Tidlr she could leave earlier. Sh thought they wanted some ‘alone time’ and just nodded and left quickly.

Castiel didn’t know why she was dismissed earlier than usual, but it was good for her he guessed. Dean looked once again outside before turning to Castiel who was brushing some dirt away from his pants.

“You worked in the garden?!” He repeated like he couldn’t believe it.

“Yeah, it’s sad to let it die. You don’t seem happy about it.”

“If I wanted someone to take care of it, I would have hired somebody! I didn’t tell you you could go in here!”

Castiel frowned, taken aback by that reaction, he surely didn’t expect Dean to be angry because he took care of a part of the house. “You didn’t say I couldn’t. Why is it so much of a bother?”

“Because I don’t want you to, that’s all! It’s my house, and if I don’t want you to…”

“Your house? It’s my house too, now, remember? I’m moving in! We’re about to marry, you have people living here with you too.”

“That’s my family house, got it?” Dean growled, getting closer. Not moving, Castiel held his gaze.

“We’ll be married, I’m supposed to be part of your family, and Claire too. You said a step-daughter would be like a daughter of your blood. So it was a lie?”

“You’re calling me a liar?” His tone was getting darker.

“It was a question. Was it a lie?”

“No it wasn’t, but that doesn’t mean you can do whatever you want!”

“You wanted me to come here and be your husband, well now I’m investing myself in your house, isn’t it something you should be happy about?”

Dean sighed and rubbed his face. “And why is it so important to you that you have to be such a bitch?”

This made Castiel’s breath itch, he leaned a bit closer to him, glaring defiantly. “A few days ago I was just a normal teacher, a single father. It had only been a few days, and you took me away from almost everything, my house, my job and even my friends will live now far away from me, and I have to marry a stranger! You’re having it easy, you still live in the same place, you still have your job, your habits and everyone you know around you! Not me! So it’s just a bit important for me to do something that can make me feel at home.”

This was too much to hear, Dean just left him here, furious but also unable to say anything anymore. He locked himself in his office. Screw him! It didn’t matter what he would do after all! And he didn’t need to see him, right?! But actually he had wanted to see him. And sadly it was true, he did take Castiel away from everything he knew and built. But God, he had much more to offer! He could give him what was best! _Yet you denied him something as simple as working in the garden_. It was what Sam would have said, he knew it.

But he couldn’t help it, once his parents were both dead there was no point making it grow. It was painful for him to get in here, and no one else was there to enjoy it. Until now.

He tried to focus on work, tried to get this argument out of his head until he heard the doorbell ringing. Who was this? He heard the door open and it was soon enough followed by loud voices.

“You have no right to come here!”

That was Castiel’s voice. He sprung out of his office immediately and went to see what was going on. Who the hell was here? What was going on?

As he reached the entrance, Dean frowned when he saw an old man facing his future husband. The door had been closed, probably because Castiel didn’t want the neighbors to hear. He had no idea who he was, but he was dressed very plainly, he even stunk a bit. He looked quite sick, though his frame was still broad, he had probably been very strong in his youth. Sickness and age had altered him, yet if a look could kill Dean would have died immediately as soon as the newcomer noticed him. He wasn’t the kind to be intimidated easily, though, and certainly not by an old man.

“Who are you? What are you doing in my house?”

“The other sinner, isn’t it?” The old man growled after a quick look.

Castiel was pale with anger, his eyes throwing daggers at the stranger. “His name is Dean. Dean, meet my father, Jonathan Novak.”

“Your father?!” He could see indeed a resemblance between the two, now. But there was something so hard in the man’s look, so bitter, that he could hardly believe this could be Castiel’s dad.

“Yeah. And I’m gonna ask the same question: what are you doing here?”

“A neighbor told me she saw you in the News this morning, that’s why I came! At least this time it wasn’t difficult to find you!”

“And as a good father you came to congratulate me, didn’t you?” Castiel’s voice was dripping sarcasm. 

“I’m pretty ashamed to be called your father, even more than before! Two men going together is an abomination, it’s written in the Bible!”

What the Hell?! Dean huffed at those words: “Geez, old man, calm down this isn’t the movie _Carrie_.”

“I didn’t speak to you, damn heathen!” The insult just made Dean snort, that dude was just crazy! And seriously, was that even an insult? He turned to his son again. “A good son shouldn’t disobey his father’s wishes, you already let me rot alone, and now you’re doing this! You’ll burn in Hell for that!”

“If I was to take care of you, I would treat you exactly the same way you treated me, and I can guarantee you wouldn’t like it!”

He regretted those words immediately, not because he attacked his father verbally, but because Dean heard. He didn’t want his future husband to know about his childhood, that was too sore, and too much of a weakness. At his side, Dean’s little smirk had vanished once he heard this. Jonathan looked outraged at such words.

“I raised you in the Lord’s law, but you were rotten to the core and you dragged me into shame!”

“So what, father? Be ashamed, it’s not my concern, you see…” He took Dean’s hand at the latest astonishment. “We’re getting married very soon, and you won’t be the one to change that.”

The old man trembled in rage and looked like he was about to throw up just by looking at them holding hands. Dean took that occasion and pulled his hand away to grab Castiel by the waist instead. At this, Jonathan’s face reddened.

“I warn you, I won’t have it! You disobeyed me long enough! This is the worst sin you pulled out yet, the Lord will strike you! Sinners like you should be burned! As for my grand-daughter there is no way I’m letting her stay with two disgusting…”

At this, Castiel pulled himself away from Dean’s hold, and seized his father by the collar brutally, surprising the old man: “YOU’RE NOT TOUCHING MY DAUGHTER! HEAR ME?!”

He pushed the old man away, and Jonathan looked like he was about to explode, he raised his hand to strike Castiel but before the latest could do anything, Dean took Jonathan by the arm and pushed him away. It wasn’t in his habit to manhandle physically fragile people, but that one was so despicable he felt no remorse.

“Don’t touch me, you disgusting pig!”

“I’m gonna do much worse than that if you ever get close! You’re not ever coming back, you’re not tormenting your son or Claire again, or I swear I’ll break every bone in you!”

Dean pushed him outside, and the old man had to grasp the stairs’ rail in order not to fall. “Don’t ever come back.”

This time, Jonathan looked truly scared and he left, stumbling slightly. Dean just closed the door and turned to Castiel who was standing still, his expression cold and hard. Before Dean could reach him, he went back inside. Without caring whether or not he wanted to be alone, Dean followed his future husband. Castiel went toward his bedroom and closed the door but the other opened before he could lock it. Rolling his eyes, he went to the window and stared outside, refusing to look at Dean. He watched the dark-haired man, wondering what was going through his mind. He had that stone-like face, but he was pale and shaking slightly. Dean gently put his hand on his shoulder, but Castiel swatted his hand away.

“Look, if you’re mad at me for what I just did to your father...”

“It’s not that! I don’t care what you do to him.”

“Then what?” Asked he.

Suddenly turning to him, Cas’ pushed his future husband hard against the wall. Before Dean could understand, register that his head hurt, his man suddenly crashed his lips against his.

Dean completely stilled, his mind going blank for a second. He opened his mouth and greedily kissed Castiel and embraced him tightly. He understood absolutely nothing to what was happening but his head was spinning right round. Was it shock or pleasure, he didn’t know, but it felt like relief, a deep hunger satisfied all of sudden. Jolt of pure energy ran through him, he wasn’t just kissing Castiel, he was drinking, absorbing him.

Lust rose through him like never and he pushed himself off the wall, and almost threw his future husband on the bed. Castiel hardly had time to regain his breath when Dean was on him, pinning his arms down and kissing him greedily, grinding his hips against him. Castiel’s breath itched as they broke the kiss.

“You’re mine,” Dean murmured in a raspy voice.

He kissed his neck, then. He released Castiel’s arms and grabbed his right leg and bent it, rolling his hips harder against him. His other arm circled his back, pressing his dark-haired beauty against him further. He could feel his future husband’s hand on his shoulders gripping tightly. He pulled away from his neck and went to kiss him when he saw Castiel’s expression. The sight stopped him immediately.

There was determination, anger, fear and Dean suddenly remembered what he told his father, and how he had held his hand. It had just been a show to make Daddy angry, and now…

Before Castiel could ask anything, Dean pulled himself away, stood up and stormed out of the room, giving Castiel a hateful glare. He left the man here, lying limply on the bed. The man remained here, staring at the ceiling, when he heard his daughter waking up.

**O o O**

Dean didn’t get out of his office until evening came, as for Castiel, he had brought Claire to a nearby park. What happened today was still in his mind, seeing his father again after all that time…That was already upsetting enough, he didn’t want to see him or think of him again. But the worst was that Dean had seen him, and learned things Castiel didn’t want him to know.

Yet…Seeing him push his father out like this, it had been pretty satisfying too. Honestly, he could have done it, he did in the past. When his father had learned about Claire’s birth, he had came to visit her, demanding to see his grand-daughter, but Castiel hadn’t allowed him to get near. He hadn’t seen him after, moving into another part of the Queens for that. He knew he could protect his girl from him, yet thinking someone else was here to make sure nothing would happen… _Come on, you still hardly know each other_. But well, he felt somehow thankful.

“When we go to the sea?” Claire asked that, interrupting his thoughts. He was preparing her dinner, she was in her high-chair, swinging her feet.

“We will sweetie, tomorrow we will. You didn’t like the swimming pool?”

“Yeah, but sea is better.”

This made him smile: “That’s true. You’re a little mermaid.” She giggled and repeated: “I’m a mermaid!”

She ate well, all the activity today had opened her appetite, and that’s something Castiel really valued: daily exercises and a good nutrition, it was essential for a growing child. He heard Dean coming downstairs and they didn’t say a word to each other, the man just warmed up what Mrs Tidler prepared for them. They eat almost silently and Castiel took Claire in his arms once he was done, seeing she was tired.

“Come on, let’s get you to bed.”

“You sing me the song?” Asked the little girl.

“Yeah I will.”

Hearing that, Dean wondered what this song was. He also wondered what Castiel sounded like when he was singing. He followed them without a sound toward the bedroom and saw the dad putting the child in bed, and as she laid down, she looked at him expectantly. Castiel sat, his back turned to Dean, unaware of his presence, as for the child, she hadn’t noticed him. His soft voice started.

_Are you going to Scarborough Fair?_

_Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme,_

_Remember me to one who lives there,_

_She once was a true love of mine._

_Tell her to make me a cambric shirt,_

_Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme,_

_Without no seams nor needlework,_

_Then she’ll be a true love of mine._

His voice was decent, not bad at all even, but not wonderful. Then why did he felt the need to lean in the doorframe and just listen in complete silence?

_Tell her to find me an acre of land,_

_Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme,_

_Between salt water and the sea strands,_

_Then she’ll be a true love of mine,_

_Tell her to rip it in sickle of leather,_

_Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme,_

_And gather it all in a bunch of heather,_

_Then she’ll be a true love of mine._

The child looked enchanted by her dad’s voice, and Dean found himself hoping the song would last long.

_Are you going to Scarborough Fair,_

_Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme,_

_Remember me to one who lives there,_

_She once was a true love of mine._

With a deep breath, he repeated the last line

_She once was a true love of mine…_

The melancholy in those last words was breath-taking. The song stopped there, and Castiel stayed at his daughter’s side, watching as she closed her eyes, and shifted to sleep. Then, after a short moment, Dean saw Castiel joining his hands and pray, murmuring so softly he couldn’t hear, and even the child couldn’t hear.

_Now she lays down to sleep,_

_Pray the Lord her soul to keep,_

_And if she dies before she wakes,_

_Pray the Lord her soul to take._

When he was little, he had to say this prayer for himself, but the idea of death was scary to him, and he didn’t want Claire to be scared, so he would pray in her stead. He stood and stilled at first when he saw Dean in the doorframe. The man just backed away silently, and left Castiel in the bedroom. The latter eventually stood up, saw Dean wasn’t in the corridor anymore and silently closed the door before going for him. He found him in his bedroom, trading his dress shirt for a simple grey tee-shirt. He had to admit he preferred Dean in simpler outfits like this. It gave him a more reachable appearance.

Dean noticed him standing in the doorframe with his arms crossed. “What do you want?”

“You have questions, don’t you? Go ahead,” Castiel simply offered.

Taking a short moment to think, Dean finally asked: “What you did, earlier…Kissing me, taking my hand, it was a way to defy your father. What did he do to you so you hate him that much?”

Of course he had a good idea of what Jonathan did, but he didn’t want to guess, he wanted him to talk. Castiel bit his lip: it was hard to tell, but he knew he had wronged Dean earlier, even if it was him, he knew what he had done was low. He owed him something. Dean knew too much anyway to be left in the dark anymore. He approached and sat on the bed, turning his back to Dean.

“Look at my back, you’ll have an answer.”

Confused, Dean slowly lifted Castiel’s shirt, hearing the way he deeply breathed, like he was nervous. The sight made him gape: scars, old scars were adorning Castiel’s back. Those had healed quite well but there was still a trace, you couldn’t see those from afar but if you could get a closer look, those were painfully obvious.

“What happened?”

“My father’s belt.”

This made Dean’s breath shudder, good God he should have beat the hell out of the old fucker! He grazed his back, as if he could make the scars disappear, and Castiel shifted away from his touch, uneasy and feeling suddenly very tired.

“It’s in the past, and it should stay there. I guess that makes you understand why there won’t be any one of my family during the wedding, except for Claire.”

“And your mother?”

“…She killed herself.”

Unwelcome images went through his head, images of a tub filled with reddened water. He bit his lip and stood up, feeling almost crowded and smothered. “I need to shower.”

Dean wished he could call him back, find the right words, but none came. What should you say to someone who got such scars? And who had lost their mother this way? His own mom died when he was young, but she died in an accident, and she had been happy with their father. But such a desperate gesture was something entirely different. Though, if Castiel’s dad had always been like that, her motives were pretty clear…By God, that was worse than what he could have imagined.

The buzz of his phone suddenly interrupted his thoughts, he took it without thinking, persuaded that it was either work, either another congratulation.

Dean’s eyes widened as he saw the name on the phone: Sammy.

His breath was cut off at this and he looked at the phone as if it was some kind of alien. What? His brother was calling him? He had called him many times, but Sam had never answered. There was only once Sam had phoned him…Without even thinking, he took the call.

“Hey, Sam?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One fanatical dad out of the way (at least for now) and now Sam is entering!


	9. Getting closer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I know it took longer, I kinda struggled with that one. Hope you'll enjoy it!

He felt like his voice was gonna fail him: “Hey, Sam.”

_“Hey, Dean. You…Hum…You’re good?”_

“Yeah, fine. What about you? Is there something wrong?”

_“No, but I saw you’re getting married.”_

Dean found himself speechless, his stomach knotted and he felt like icy water had been dropped over him. Oh God, if Sam ever learned…Weirdly, that’s something he didn’t anticipate: what Sam would think of all this. But here his little brother was phoning him about it. Hell…

“Yeah…Yeah, I am.”

_“I’m really happy for you, weirdly enough I kinda thought you would end up with a dude.”_

“Well, if you can have such predictions with the company’s trading, I’d gladly take those.”

He heard Sam chuckle a bit and had to contain his emotion. It was so good to hear him again! He bit his lip: “And…Jess? How is she?”

A short silence followed: “ _You mean her or the baby?_ ”

“…Both.”

“ _They’re fine. The latest exam showed no problems at all_.”

“Good.”

It was still giving him vertigo when he thought about it: Sam was going to be a dad. He had called him three months ago to tell him that Jessica was pregnant, leaving a message, but Dean hadn’t called back immediately. Not that he didn’t want to, on contrary, but out of nervousness. Just like his dad, Dean had rejected Jess, thinking she was interested in their money. Yet when the girl had proved them wrong, Dean had felt guilty. So he had eventually called back but Sam hadn’t picked up the phone and Dean had left a short message. After that, none of them had tried to contact the other again. He didn’t know why Sam wouldn’t call him again, but Dean didn’t dare, because after what happened, he kinda waited for his little brother to allow him back in his life.

“Boy or girl, do you know already?”

“ _In a few days. Apparently, you’ll be a dad too_.”

“Yeah, she is almost four now, so I didn’t get the diapers and all, but yeah, I suppose I will.”

This made Sam chuckle. It was strange to think he would be Claire’s dad too. In fact he already was a bit, he bought her a dress, bought things for her room, had a room for her in his house and she was just starting to live here.

“You know…I was actually thinking about marrying on the West Coast.”

“ _Really?_ ”

“Well, since Jess is pregnant, it’s better that she doesn’t take the plane. Anyway, I like the idea of marrying in California.”

“ _Thank you…You’d like to come at my house?”_

“Maybe not, we could find somewhere to stay near your house, though.”

“ _You want to have your space with him, isn’t it?_ ” Sam asked on a teasing tone.

Dean smiled and blushed slightly. He wished it was that. “Well, there is still the little girl, but I guess it will be easier to…Have fun.”

Anyway it was maybe better, Sam and he hadn’t seen each other in a long time, suddenly being under the same roof all day was maybe not the best thing. Especially since he didn’t know how Jessica would react to him. He heard a slight chuckle. _“What’s the kid’s name by the way? I know your fiancé has a weird name, I read it but can’t remember._ ”

“Her name is Claire, and his is Castiel.”

They spoke a bit more, and eventually hung up. They had decided Dean would indeed come and spend some time here, and organize his marriage here. Dean felt happier than ever, it seemed like an eternity he hadn’t seen or talk to his little brother, and yet they had managed to speak naturally…And he would see him again! The only down side was that he would have to take the plane, each time he had to do that, he had to make a big effort to stay calm. But it didn’t matter, if it meant seeing Sam, then be it!

But wait, what would Castiel think about it? Maybe he wouldn’t object. After all, California was a good place, and maybe he would be curious to see his brother. And maybe it would also help him forget what happened today. After Sam’s call, Dean had almost forgotten about Cas’s dad, but maybe some times away would feel good for his future husband.

In fact…The more he thought about it, the more he was sure preparing the wedding too fast was a bad idea. He would have to tell Marc about it, but it was better to wait at least seven weeks. It wasn’t for his pleasure, but now that he thought about it, the rush would be ludicrous, even suspicious to the public. Them announcing their engagement already was viewed by some as a show, so if they rushed the wedding…Yeah, and as Charlie said, he ahd to get to spend some time with Cas’. The man was going through a lot already, maybe waiting would feel smoother.

He sighed and laid on the bed. Tomorrow would be a difficult day, and yet he wasn’t scared of that, far from it. It was weird because he was energetic; he would have felt like going out usually but not tonight; maybe because the house wasn’t deserted anymore? But he wasn’t feeling sleepy, so he decided to do some work, and after that he would go and look on the net for a place to stay at in California. If he didn’t want to marry right now, at least he would see Sam soon. His brother wasn’t living in Los Angeles, only close to it, in a smaller city. He wanted something near the beach, he remembered Castiel saying he would miss Queens because it was close to the ocean.

It was only two hours later that he went back in his room, this time about to go to sleep, satisfied as he had done some work and found what he wanted. But before he could lay in his bed, he heard the door open and saw Castiel entering his room with casual night clothes.

“What’s up?”

“Well…There is something that your cleaning lady told me today: she noticed we didn’t sleep in the same bed.”

“Well, yeah, she makes those and washes the sheets.” Wait a sec…Why was he talking about that? He noticed how slightly embarrassed Castiel was.

“Well, I thought maybe we should be…Share the same bed during some nights.”

This brought a smile to Dean’s lips, he couldn’t help it. “You want to sleep with me!”

“Don’t make it difficult! No touching, though. Just for appearances.”

“Well, when we slept at your house you weren’t that cooperative…”

“Look, if you don’t want it, that’s fine, I was just suggesting that so it won’t look suspicious.”

“Okay, okay! That’s fine with me, I promise I won’t do anything you don’t want.”

He tried not to smile too much as Castiel laid at his side, even though he knew he couldn’t touch him, it was satisfying to have him in his bed. It was what he had wanted from the very first time he had seen him, but funny enough, he thought he would have Castiel for a few nights of sex, not that he would chastely lay at his future husband’s side.

“We’ll have thing to talk about tomorrow,” Dean said, still smiling in the dark once the lights were off. Castiel had his back turned to him.

“Okay. Good night.”

“’Night.”

It was incredibly weird laying at Dean’s side. Dear God, he never thought that would happen one day! Yet, he wanted to do it, making excuses to Sue would be tiring. And strangely enough, the idea to sleep alone was quite repulsive right now. He didn’t know why, but he wanted to know someone would be at his side. Maybe because sleep paralysis had started again after a long time without it? Or there was another reason he didn’t want to admit: he was upset after meeting his father and somehow he didn’t want to be alone. He felt childish for that, really, but he couldn’t help it. He hated being all alone in his bed when something was nagging him like that. And after all, there was someone available and willing, so if at least Dean could be a presence to comfort him a bit, it would be good. He had been forced into this relationship, so he would take some advantage out of it when he could. Still, it felt strange to think he was at his side. Some days ago they were still strangers to one another.

Weirdly enough, he trusted that Dean wouldn’t touch him. Anyway if he tried, he could defend himself.

Laying on his back, Dean continued to observe the one at his side; It was weird to think he had someone in his bed he couldn’t touch and who was meant to stay. _Sharing a bed with no sex…Isn’t that the definition of marriage?_ It made him smile, if it was really the case he would change the definition of marriage! But not right now obviously…Anyway, after what happened today, it was absolutely not the moment to make a move. He thought of Cas’s scars, of his fury when he had seen his father. Lust wasn’t the only reason why he wanted to touch him: he wished he could comfort him as well. But it would probably be unwelcome right now, he would be crowding him. And considering how he had stormed out of the room after Castiel kissed him…He didn’t want to admit it, but he should have been gentler. Yes, he had been hurt when Castiel had kissed him just as a way to piss off his dad, but his future husband wasn’t thinking straight. He couldn’t blame him for that.

He continued to look at the frame at his side, he could just distinguish it in the dark, and hear Cas’s breathing. The wish to comfort him and the lust swirled in his mind. His mind drifted again to that evening when Cas was dancing in the club, that hug he had given him and that kiss they shared earlier, how hot he had felt…A shudder went through him, he died to discover what Castiel was like as a lover. It was actually hard to hold himself from touching him, from reaching him and try to kiss his neck. But no, Castiel didn’t want to. Well, he would have to find a way to seduce him.

At his dismay, Dean realized that laying at Castiel’s side like that would have its hard side as well.

**O o O**

When Dean woke up that morning, he had his arm around something. The sensation was comforting, it melted well into his arm, and he could snuggle…Wait…Opening his eyes, he realized he was holding his future husband. Castiel had his back turned to him and Dean was leaning against him, his arm draped around the man’s stomach. What happened? He didn’t even remember doing that! It was probably a gesture he did in his sleep.

Obviously Castiel was still sleeping, he was breathing normally, and his body was completely relaxed against his. It wasn’t the first time he had someone in bed, but he would rarely hug them. It was like the time he had held him, but this time there was no tension at all. H found himself wishing this would happen more often, when Castiel would be sleeping or awake. 

He remained like this for a soft moment, thinking of everything that happened, and couldn’t but remember that the back he was pressed had many old scars. _He has inner old scars too_. Very gently, he took his arm off and got up from the bed, careful not to wake him up. After one last look to his sleeping form, he pulled the thin linen over his body and left the room.

It was quite unusual for him to wake up that early, maybe it was sleeping next to Castiel, or because so much was happening. He wasn’t alone for long, though; Claire woke up a few minutes later and called for her dad, who immediately went to her. They were all together eating breakfast with Jasper and Sasquatch both laid at their feet, their eyes pleading for some food. Dean instructed Claire not to give him anything, explaining it was a bad habit. Then he looked at Castiel, wondering how he was feeling.

_Might as well tell him now._

“We’ll leave the City for some times.”

Castiel looked at Dean in surprise and Claire looked up as well in expectation. “We’ll take some times off. After all we are supposed to prepare our wedding.”

“Where are we going?”

“To the West Coast, we’ll rent something by the beach. You said you enjoyed the ocean, and we’ll be able to visit my brother.”

“But that’s at the other side of the country! I can’t afford…”

“I’ll pay for your tickets! You’ll just have to pack your things, try not to look like a peasant.”

“I’m going too?” Asked Claire.

“Of course you are.”

The little girl jumped in joy, she was beaming so much Castiel couldn’t refuse it, even to piss off Dean. Anyway he couldn’t help but feel happy at that perspective, to see the ocean and swim with her. And unlike the swimming pool, he was allowed to keep a tee-shirt on when he was swimming, allowing him to hide the scars. Wait, Dean had spoken of the marriage…

“You haven’t told me yet when we will marry.”

“In about seven weeks. We’ll marry at Los Angeles, my brother lives nearby.”

Castiel churned, it was almost two months, and yet it seemed like it would be in two days. Dean wished he had a happier reaction, but he should have expected this. It could have been worse. He bit his lip. “You won’t have much to do, except try some clothes. We’ll”

“Why are we marrying there?”

“My sister is law is pregnant. She can’t travel to New York.”

Castiel then remembered what he heard about Sam Winchester and that conflict. “Does that mean you two are in better terms?”

Dean hesitated and drunk what was left of his coffee quickly. “I guess. I have to go to work, in the meantime, you should see who among your friends can attend the wedding.”

“Fine.”

He wouldn’t help. After all, he had been forced to do this, why should he help? But weirdly, a part of him felt less hostile toward Dean. Maybe because of what happened yesterday? But the idea to see the West Coast was cheering him, he had never traveled that far.

He did phone Father Lowry explaining him he would marry and though the old reverend wanted to attend, it wouldn’t be possible for him. Then he called Anna, Lexie and Zack, asking them to meet him for lunch. Anna perfectly understood what was going on, of course, and she promised Castiel she would make her best to come so he would have support. But Zack and Lexie really were confused and angry.

“You really were in a relationship with that guy?! The very same guy who insulted us all?”

They were sitting at a table of a small restaurant; Claire was sitting with them, a little game book for kids her age in hands. He gave a quick look to Anna who bit her lip, not knowing what to say either. He sighed: “I was really mad at him, he never did anything like it before, and…I don’t know, I think he snapped because we really were at a bad moment of our relationship and he thought I was going to break up with him. He was actually jealous because he thought I had an affair with one of you.”

H wasn’t much of a good liar, he did his best to be believable. Maybe it worked because neither of them could imagine the truth. It was obvious they were upset, they didn’t think Castiel would have lied, and he died to tell them he never did, to explain what happened. But he didn’t want them to know, he feared they would be exposed. All the grudge and anger he felt toward Dean burned again, his friends were hurt and angry because of him.

“Still, he acted like a dick,” Zack huffed. “He might be rich, but that’s all!”

“Yeah, Harold didn’t like it at all,” Lexie added.

“Harold?”

“The guy who flirted with me,” she reminded him with a little smile. “We saw each other again, and he is taking me out tonight.”

He remembered indeed the shy young man who had been with her, Castiel had found him to be very likeable, and he had felt grateful toward him for taking Lexie away when Dean had acted out. He smiled as well, it was great for her if this worked well, she deserved the best.

“Well, I hope you two will work out.”

“It’s too soon to tell,” she said with another smile before getting serious again, “But, why didn’t you tell us?”

“Actually, I knew,” Anna intervened. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell any of you, and that I acted like I had no clue. But Castiel and I agreed that the less people knew, the better.”

“You could have trusted us!”

“It’s not that I don’t trust you, but I promised Dean I wouldn’t tell anyone but Anna. He didn’t tell his friends either. We both feared what would happen if the public learned. Just having people know about me now is already…I don’t like it.”

Although Zack was still upset over it, Lexie was more forgiving, and at the end of lunch, she had stopped pouting already. But he feared that Zack and he wouldn’t be as close as they used to be. He cursed Dean mentally for making him lie. Taking him and his daughter away from their house was one thing, but now because of him, his relationship with a friend could be ruined.

Once the lunch ended, Zack and Lexie went on their own way, while he and Anna walked together, Claire was getting a bit moody, needing her nap already. Castiel took her in his arms and she leaned her head against his shoulder, slowly dozing off.

“So, what are you gonna do now? What’s gonna happen?” Anna asked that without even knowing what she was precisely thinking of.

“Well, we’ll marry to the West Coast, and…Well, I’m gonna meet his brother.” He looked at her and knew this wasn’t the answer she wanted. But truth to be told, he didn’t have much to give. “I don’t really know what’s in the future for me, honestly. I don’t think that situation would be that bad for Claire, for me I don’t know. He is a douche, but not dangerous, however I’m loosing the life I had because of him.”

“Beware, don’t fall for the Old Stockholm Syndrom. It doesn’t always happen to kidnapped people, those who are trapped in an abusive relationship often develops something close to it.”

“I know. But don’t worry, I know about it, and I just objectively can tell that until now, he didn’t show himself dangerous. He tried to order me around but let’s say I didn’t exactly cooperate.”

He told her about how Dean had ordered him to wait for him and how he left to go back to the Queens and had Dean stay in his guest room for the night. She laughed as she heard how Castiel jokingly told him there would be cockroaches. He laughed as well.

“I do as he says when he asks for something that makes sense, I don’t mind, but don’t worry, I don’t intend to bend to his every will and let him change me.” Indeed, he hadn’t allowed his father to submit him when he was a teenage boy, he wouldn’t let his future husband do that now that he was a man. He had never told Anna much about his dad, she just knew they didn’t share a loving relationship.

When he thought about it, he had never shown anyone his scars willingly. Some people had noticed those eventually, but he had never purposefully showed them. He almost stopped as if he had just realized that: Dean Winchester was the first person with whom he had done that. Why? Because he had felt guilty for kissing him just to defy his father? _No, because Dean is the first one who stood up to your dad on your behalf_.

Hell, when he thought about it, it was true, no one ever did, even Ellen and Father Lowry, both feared that angering the man would only make him lash out on his son even more, and calling child services would have probably gotten him to some shitty foster home. Instead they would make sure to give him a place to stay whenever he needed. He knew that, and he had no grudge on them, but it was good that someone had just confronted his dad directly for him.

God, it wouldn’t be easy if he started to switch between gratefulness and hatred. Dear God, whatever relationship he would have with Dean, it wouldn’t be an easy one.

**O o O**

“You want to postpone, really?”

Marc was quite surprised, but a bit relieved, though he had been excited by the challenge, he realized it would be much better for him to organize it.

“I do. I don’t want to rush things up, it won’t do any good to my reputation if my wedding is half-done because I rushed it up, also it would appear strange. And…Well, I got many lovers, you know, but I won’t marry many times.” _Hopefully only once_. “I would like it to be a real event.”

“Alright. So the West Coast, you told me?”

“Yep, L.A, my sister-in-law shouldn’t travel much.”

“I know the place a bit. Kevin and I went there two years ago, there are a few locations where you could marry. But now, that’s up to you and your boyfriend’s taste. By the way, I’d need to meet him.”

“Sure.” But would Castiel even care? He thought over it, and it would actually be a good thing to introduce him to Marc, and to his friends.

“Maybe we could go to the blue Jungle with Charlie, that way he would also meet her and Jo.”

“Yeah, it had been some times since we didn’t go there all together. Anyway I’m sure Charlie wouldn’t miss another opportunity to see Jo.”

“Yeah, I noticed that,” Dean said with a smile, liking the idea of those two together. “With some luck they’ll go at my wedding as a couple.”

“Oh yeah! By the way, you know there are some people you’ll have to invite, right?”

“Don’t remind me?”

Indeed, there were some public people and investors who would have to be invited, his wedding would be a public event. Marc laughed at that: “You know Bela Talbot is apparently really bitter, she hoped to get you!”

“I know…It could be actually fun to invite her, just for that.”

They didn’t spend too much time on that, though. Dean also had to see Charlie about the hacking attempt. They didn’t know who the hacker was yet, and she feared they might never discover. That enraged him, he didn’t like the idea that they could get away with it. But at least the security system was fine.

When Dean came home, they didn’t talk much at first, just shared dinner. All the while, he could feel some tension, it seemed like Castiel was mad at him but didn’t want to talk about it before his daughter. It was only once he went to bed that they had their first real conversation. Castiel was already under the cover when Dean went to sleep, but he noticed the man wasn’t asleep.

“Hey…So, did you think of who would come?”

“Yeah. Why seven weeks by the way?”

“In a bit less than five weeks, it will be two years my father died. I don’t want to wait too long for our marriage, but I want to leave some times between it and that anniversary.”

“I see.”

A short silence followed and then Dean remembered something he noticed: “You worked in the garden again, I saw.”

“Yes.”

Dean rolled his eyes but said nothing this time, much at Castiel’s satisfaction.

“There is something I wanted to ask you: a colleague told me they had sleep paralysis too.”

Honestly, he wouldn’t have admitted that he took some times during his lunch break to research it on the net. And what he ahd seen had been even more terrifying than what Castiel explained. He stopped there, as if he hesitated to ask, and his future husband titled his head slightly: “So?”

“Yeah…I’d like to know, do you experience hallucinations? Do you have a treatment?”

Castiel frowned, trying to keep composure but his guts churned. Why? He shouldn’t be ashamed: “Why such questions?”

“I’d rather know if I live with someone who needs meds or a shrink.”

“I don’t! It occasionally happens but it’s probably the stress, nothing else, I know how to handle it.”

Biting his lip, Dean leaned on his arm, propping himself up, to hover a bit over his future husband who was still laying on his back. “But do you experience hallucinations? And when did it start?”

Taking a deep breath, his future husband looked at him with annoyance: “Why do you want to know that?”

“Because it’s important. We should ask each other questions.”

“Does that mean I can ask you things?”

“Yes. But go ahead, answer first.”

“I saw some things when I was a kid. Not anymore”

“What did you see?” Weirdly, he was incredibly curious to know what Castiel could see whenever he was paralyzed. Dear God, with his fanatic father, the suicide of his mother and this…He wondered how the guy went through all this. 

“I’m not answering that. And I guess I should be the one asking you something now: why were you so mad because I worked in the garden?”

Dean lowered his gaze and took a moment to answer. “Because it was my mother’s garden. She used to go in here as often as she could, and she never hired anyone to help, at most she would ask the caretaker to water the plants when were gone. She wanted that place to be beautiful for all of us, we all liked it, but we all felt it was hers somehow.”

He stopped for a moment, looking down again, reminiscing. “After she died, my father hired someone to take care of it, Sam and I participated as well, but it wasn’t the same at all. We felt like it wasn’t ours, but we were still trying. My mom did it because she wanted to make us happy, that garden was made for a happy family, but we weren’t anymore. Then Sam left and my father died. And I thought it was maybe better to let the place die as well, since its soul is dead already.”

That left Castiel slightly speechless at this. Now he could understand: it was a way to let go for him. It was somehow reassuring, though, to know there was actually a real reason to that. Now he hesitated working in there again, he would have defied Dean if he had just been throwing another authority fit, but here, it was the garden of his mother and a symbol of his grieving. He never met Mary Winchester but he wouldn’t disrespect her memory on purpose.

“Thanks for telling me.”

He almost asked what happened to her but stopped himself. Maybe another time, they had done enough revelations for tonight. Dean gulped, though he had owed Castiel an answer, he didn’t like to talk about that.

“Yeah…We’ll leave in two days, tomorrow we are going to meet a few of my friends, at the Blue Jungle. After all you introduced me to yours, I should introduce you to them.”

Castiel shrugged: “As you wish.” Was Dean trying to scare him? He didn’t know but he was quite curious to meet those people.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't hesitate to comment


	10. Revelations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! That one will be a bit particular, let's say the title is pretty fitting! Enjoy!

It was strange to come back to the Blue Jungle for Castiel, after all it was here that everything started. He had went there thinking he would just allow himself a night of fun after a long time, but instead...Well, it wasn’t like it could happen twice.

“You remember everything I told you?” Dean asked brushing his temple and putting a strand of hair back in place.

“More or less,” Castiel replied, a bit unsettled by that gesture. Dean had told him a few things about his friends, their names, what they were doing and how they met. Things he should have learned if he truly was with Dean since two years.

“Remember, act loving, we’re supposed to be a couple.”

“I know, I know…I’m not that good at lying, though.”

“I noticed,” Dean told him, remembering the time on the rooftop restaurant, when Castiel pretended he was okay and had to leave to gather stuff when in reality he intended to hide his daughter; Dean had immediately seen he wasn’t honest with him. In fact Castiel rarely lied, he would just refuse to answer questions, because he was bad at that.

“You handled yourself with the reporters, though.”

“Because you had given me a trail to follow, told me what to say. Same when I was lying to my friends, we had already imagined some story…”

“Well, it’s still the same story!”

“I don’t know if I can go on like this forever.”

He was about to tell him to twist the truth a bit, because the best liars would always tell the truth, but he didn’t. He didn’t want Castiel to become a good liar, he liked his honest personality.

“It will be alright, don’t worry, don’t speak too much if you want.”

“You don’t have any guilt? Lying to them like that? I felt shitty after lying to mine, and I could have strangled you at that moment.”

Not really knowing what to answer, a pang of guilt blocking his throat. He took a deep breath and eventually replied: “They’re my friends, but there are things about me they don’t have to have to know. Anyway I don’t want to let them come too close.”

“Why not?”

“You never really know what to expect from people. I do believe they like me, but they don’t care that much.”

Weird…Was that guy really thinking such things about his friends? Well, he wondered what kind of people they were.

They got out of the car and came in; once again he found the place really appealing, with its particular décor. Dean was of course greeted by every employee who crossed his way. It had been strange to think he could come in without having to wait in the queue, nor care about the way he was dressed. Well, at least being with Dean had its advantage. He walked with his future husband who lead him to the bar counter where a group of people were talking. A red-haired woman waived her hand at the sight of them.

“Here they are!”

Castiel saw there were five people, two women and three men, and the red-haired woman introduced herself first to him. They all first came toward them to congratulate them about their future marriage and Castiel remembered that none of them knew, except for one. A dark-haired woman shook his hand first:

“Hi, I’m Lenore, glad to meet you,” she said with a nice smile.

“Happy as well,” he answered while shaking her hand.

“Benny, her husband,” one broad man added with a huge smile.

“Hey, I’m Charlie,” the red-haired woman declared.

“I’m Kevin, and this is Marc my husband,” finished one Asian young man.

“His husband and the one who will take care of your wedding.”

“Ah, yeah, Dean told me about you: you’re his advertising agent.”

“Yep, and I’m now an amateur wedding planner! I might find myself a new career after that!” He jokingly told them.

“No way you’re quitting, I need you,” Dean replied on the same joking tone. “Where is Jo?”

“She had to go to take care of something, she’ll be here soon,” Benny replied. “Come on, take a seat, the two of you.”

They sat at a table after ordering drinks, and Castiel found himself between Dean and the one named Lenore.

“So you guys have to tell us everything,” she told them, “You hid that for so long!”

“Come on, we aren’t here only for a chat!” Dean declared. “I’m here to party a bit! We all need it, especially Charlie and I.”

“Yeah, that frigging hacker got me some sleepless nights! But I don’t wanna talk about it, it’s been too much already!” She sighed heavily.

“You surely need to relax a bit too,” Kevin told Castiel with sympathy. “Moving away, preparing a wedding and the reporters, that’s a lot.”

He lowered his eyes, the guy was just genuinely asking, and that was the worse. “Yeah, that’s overwhelming to say the least. I guess it’s a good thing I’m not working for now.” At least, it was the truth, it was quite overwhelming.

“You’re a teacher, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, an English teacher.”

“So was my dad,” Marc told him, “did you…”

“Dean Winchester! I’m happy to see you.”

They all turned to the voice and Dean’s smile faltered a bit: here before them was Alistair Crowley. He was a mob boss, and though Dean wasn’t scared of him, he knew he had to be careful. It was just like Dick Roman, he wouldn’t let him push him around but he wouldn’t underestimate him either.

Unknowingly to him, Castiel was agape, because he had also recognized Crowley’s voice, and he wasn’t expecting to see someone from his past. Was he here for him? Would Crowley speak to Dean? _Even if he does, why should you care? You got nothing to be ashamed of_.

“Happy as well, Crowley! Is it a curtesy visit, or are you here for a business talk?”

“Both, I needed to speak with you but I also wanted to congratulate you for your wedding,” he spoke the last words while turning to Castiel who didn’t dare to say anything. Immediately, Dean shifted to put himself between him and Crowley, he didn’t want that mobster around his friends and even less around Castiel. Thank God Claire wasn’t here. Putting a firm hand on Crowley’s shoulder, Dean gave him that smile and look which had hint of threat.

“Let’s talk somewhere else, somewhere quieter.”

“As you wish.”

They got away and Crowley gave one last look to Castiel before disappearing into the crowd. A silence settled in the group, no one knowing what to say at first.

“I hate those guys,” Marc finally said. “I know Dean had to trade with them a bit, but I hate them.”

“I don’t like it at all,” Castiel breathed out without even thinking. They all thought he was worried for Dean of course.

“Don’t be scared, he knows how to handle them, and I don’t think he would do anything in the club Dean own, it would be too risky,” Benny explained, trying to reassure him.

“He is used to it anyway, and Crowley had no one with him. If he wanted to try something, he would have had bodyguards, at least…Isn’t ?” Charlie added, trying to comfort herself as much as the others.

“Yeah, I think so too.”

A short and awkward silence settled between them, unable to know whether or not they should be scared, after all it could have been a simple business talk. Crowley had no one with him, as Charlie pointed out.

“I don’t know if Dean spoke of us to you?” Benny asked Castiel, trying to find something to break the slight awkwardness. “I must say I was blown off when he told me about you. But I can understand why you wanted to hide.”

“Yeah, same here, I couldn’t believe I didn’t notice anything,” Marc added. Castiel noticed the girl named Charlie lowered her eyes, looking slightly embarrassed. Ah yeah, Dean told him she was the only one who knew. At least someone shared his feelings.

“Hum, yeah, my friends were also surprised. The two of you met during college, if I’m right?” He asked Ben. “I heard of your names, it’s just your faces I didn’t know.”

“Yeah, we lost contact for a bit and met again,” Benny explained. “I lived in Portland for some times.”

“Dean told me you have a little girl,” Charlie declared. “What’s her name?”

“Claire, she is three year old, she’ll be four that autumn,” he explained with that slight bloom of pride he had whenever he would speak of his daughter.

“He said it was also for her that you didn’t want to expose your relationship,” Lenore continued, gazing once more toward the direction where Dean and Crowley left.

“Yeah, I knew the media would speak about it, one of the biggest names of New York getting married to a man, I knew everyone would talk about it. I wasn’t ready to face it myself, so having my daughter in the middle of that…I really wasn’t ready,” he repeated as it was absolutely true.

“Are you now?” Lenore asked with a genuinely worried expression.

“Not really but I don’t think I’ll ever be.” She smiled comfortingly and put a hand over his shoulder: “I’m sure your little girl will be perfectly alright. And in the end, it will be worth it.”

He nodded, not really knowing what to say. If he had been really in love, it would have been worth it, but he wasn’t? And Lord, she seemed to be a really nice person, once again it was so strange, having to lie. There was a time in his life he had to lie and dissimulate, that was when he was still a kid and living with his father, and he had hated it.

“You’ll see, those things go and pass,” Kevin assured him. “I work as an agent for models, and I can tell you that kind of stories will interest people until another one is brought up. And it will happen.”

“Let’s hope you’re right.”

It was weird when he thought about it: half of Dean’s friends were his employee. But well, maybe that was because he spent so much time doing his job, maybe his social life was mostly related to it?

“So you all met during your job?”

“Not us,” Kevin said about Marc and himself. “And I actually met Dean because he had briefly dated a model I worked with. Funny when you think about it, he dumped th girl but kept the agent as a friend! And I introduced Marc to him when he searched for a new advertising agent.”

“Ah yeah, now I remember, he told me that,” Castiel said as if it had been a while ago instead of ten minutes.

“I did met Kevin, Marc and Jo through the job,” Charlie said, “But I met Dean and Benny during college too.”

“You didn’t like us much back then,” Benny pointed out jokingly. “But I admit we could be annoying back then.”

“You especially could be a total pain in the ass,” Charlie reminded him with a smile, “Thank God you met Lenore!”

“Come on!” He huffed, laughing at those words, a bit embarrassed. His wife kissed his temple.

Castiel smiled at that picture and weirdly he imagine someone saying the same think about Dean and himself kissing his husband’s temple. He tried to push that away, and just continued to speak with them, though he was a bit embarrassed having to lie, he was growing more and more comfortable. None of them were snobbish, he didn’t know them yet, but they weren’t what he expected. He wondered why Dean refused to let them close, but now maybe he had his reasons, after all he didn’t know them.

“Ha, finally, Jo’s here!” Marc exclaimed with a little smile for Charlie, and they all looked at the newcomer.

Castiel turned to look at her and saw a blond young woman coming toward them with a smile. He frowned, she looked oddly familiar, and he titled his head as she got closer. He didn’t notice the older woman behind her.

“Hey guys!” She turned to him with a hesitant expression. “You’re Castiel right?”

“Yeah, I am.”

“Jo Harvelle, I think…”

“Wait, Harvelle?”

Jo smiled even more hugely at this: “I knew it!” She turned to the older woman behind her! “I knew it was him mom!”

Castiel gaped as he saw the woman: Ellen! She advanced toward him with a huge smile.

“Hey, kiddo! It’s been a while!”

He was absolutely breathless: after ten years, Jo and Ellen were here before him!

**O o O**

“What was so important?”

He had led Crowley to Jo’s office, he had the keys to it, and he knew she wouldn’t mind him being in here. The man just sat and looked at him with a very serious face while Dean stood, leaning against Jo’s desk with his arm crossed, facing Crowley.

“I came to speak to you about some rumors. You know, I do know some people who have some ties with the Church of Hope, that one you were supposed to agree with.”

That was surely not what he was expecting. He raised an eyebrow: “What about them? And why do _you_ have ties with them?”

“Oh, you know, they got some ways of getting money which aren’t all that clean. I don’t like them, but business is business. Thing is, I heard that apparently, that guy who declared you and your company supported the Church, he didn’t exactly do that on his own.”

Now Dean tensed a bit in anticipation, and listened as Crowley went on: “He was quite drunk, but he told someone he hated himself for failing his mission. He had to spy on you and find some dirty thing about you to bring you down. But well, you fired him before he could. Now I don’t know if those rumors were his ideas or someone else, but I guess it has something to do with it.”

Dean bit his lip. It wasn’t that impossible; he had noticed Arthur Damian wasn’t working as well as usual, and several employees had complained about his behavior, but he hadn’t thought he would have spied on him. That and the hacking attempt…But wait, was Crowley even saying the truth?

“What do expect in exchange of such an information?”

“Take it as a show of good friendship. Something is going on, I can smell it, and I simply think you’re the right side to bet on. I simply hope you’ll remember I am the one to trust.”

Of course! Dean had found himself dealing with Dick Roman, a new rising mob boss, and rumors said Crowley was eying Roman’s territory. And having big names in New York on his side could only play in his favor. Crowley stood up from his chair.

“Take it also as some kind of engagement gift, after all you’re gonna marry an acquaintance of mine, I must say it was strange to see you with Angel Face…”

“Angel Face?!”

That startled Crowley a bit, his composed face suddenly a bit confused at that outburst. “Yeah, Castiel. That’s how we nicknamed him back then.”

Fuck! What the hell was that? How did that mobster know Castiel and what the hell was that nickname?! He gauged the guy with a threatening eye, making him grew paler and growled: “Why the fuck do you call him like that?”

“Wow, calm down! It was just a nickname for the fights! Whenever he was in the ring, he was always careful of his face, he would always make sure no one could hit it! And that’s…”

“What? In the ring?”

It hit Crowley that Castiel would have tried to hide his past, maybe he feared that such things about himself would make a man like Dean Winchester back off. Yet Alistair knew the billionaire a bit and he doubted it would bother him that much. Anyway he said too much to back off on his words.

“Yeah that guy fought in my ring, I bet on him many times.”

“You’re seriously telling me _Castiel_ was a fighter in an illegal fighting ring?!”

“I fear I said too much, maybe you should see the rest with your future husband.”

Fuck! He gotta be kidding! Castiel in that kind of place? On the other hand, he did fight off his three men, and one of them admitted they only got him because they threatened him with a gun. Yet…Fuck, this seemed completely unlike him to go and fight among that kind of people! Charlie was definitely right, he had to know more about him. He left the wary Crowley here and immediately went back to retrieve them. He found the five of talking together and there was an older woman with them, whose face looked vaguely familiar. As he approached, he suddenly remembered her.

Of course!

Castiel was still absolutely baffled at this. He couldn’t believe Ellen was here, but anyway he was happy to notice she looked perfectly fine. She was briefly introduced to everyone, but she mostly paid attention to Cas’.

“So wait, you know one another,” Charlie asked in astonishment.

“Yeah! I had no idea Dean was dating him! But when I saw his picture in the news and the name, I knew it had to be him!” Jo exclaimed while hugging Castiel.

“I came immediately when Jo told me about you,” Ellen explained, “God it’s been a long time, I still remember you when you were a twelve year old kid hanging out at my bar!”

“It’s been…Ten years ago the last time I saw you,” Castiel replied, still shocked. “How are you?”

“Pretty good, I must say I got wiser, I avoid the old businesses I used to be in, if you know what I mean.”

Damn right he knew, he had been part of it! She was still beaming at his sight: “So what did you became?”

“I’m an English Teacher. You always said I was quite an egg-head, well I decided this was the best job for me.”

“Yeah, I remember that! It’s good, kiddo, I knew you would find something to do. So, you’re really gonna marry my daughter’s boss?”

“Well, yeah, but you…”

“Hey, Jo! So this is your mom, am I right?”

That was Dan’s voice. He was coming toward them and Castiel braced himself for the confrontation. He knew Ellen, she wasn’t the kind to hold her tongue either. But at Castiel’s surprise, Ellen just smiled and held out her hand.

“Long time no see, Mr Winchester! I wondered if you would remember me.”

“Of course, it was ten years ago now, but I remember it like yesterday: you were my first business deal!” Dean commented.

“Yeah, back then I couldn’t believe someone so young would handle that kind of things. Is the store doing well?”

“Just fine. They all thought I had done a bad move, but hey, it’ still here and kicking! Jo told me your new bar was doing well.”

“Yeah, honestly I don’t miss New York that much, my life in the countryside is actually much better. If it wasn’t for Jo, I would never come back! I must admit I also missed the lad over here,” she declared, showing Castiel.

Dean frowned and blinked in surprise once he heard that: “You two know each other already?”

“Yeah, I used to work for Ellen,” Castiel uttered, barely able to process what was happening.

“We were friends back then,” Jo told Dean with enthusiasm, “If someone had told me you would marry Cas’ one day, I wouldn’t have believed it! Where did you two meet?”

“In a club,” Dean simply replied, looking the three with astonishment. “I had no idea you already knew each other!” 

“You can count yourself pretty lucky, guys like Castiel aren’t easy to find!” Jo told Dean, putting her arm over Cas’s shoulders. The latest didn’t know what to do or say. Why didn’t Ellen look mad? Why was she letting her daughter work with him? Ellen wasn’t the kind to hide her discontent, had she been angry at Dean, she would have given him a piece of her mind. But no, she was warm. Obviously, he didn’t know everything.

He waited for the right moment to speak with her alone. He seized the occasion when she went to the bathroom, h waited for her to return and intercepted her before she could join the rest of the group again.

“Wait, can we talk?”

“What’s wrong?”

“Ellen, I need to ask you something: what happened in the past? I heard you had been forced to sell to the Winchesters?”

She raised an eyebrow. “Who told you that?!”

“That’s what everyone would say.”

“Can you be a bit more precise?”

“They said they absolutely wanted your spot and that John Winchester’s son was the one who forced you to sell, using threats and all. What really happened?”

Ellen snorted and then laughed. “Ha, those sly bastards! No, you really want to know what happened? I was forced to sold, but not by the Winchester. By that fucker, Harvey Connor; you remember him? He was the boss of some mob.”

“What?” He did remember, he hadn’t seen him much but he had heard his name. Crowley was the one who had over-taken control of his territory a long time ago and no one had heard about Connor anymore, some whispered he had ended up in the river.

She sighed at the unwanted memory: “He was the one who absolutely wanted my bar. I don’t know if you remember but some people wanted to buy it along with the fighting ring.”

“I just remember some mobsters would come and speak with you.”

“Yeah, I wanted to leave you and Jo out of it as much as possible. But Connor was trying to get a name for himself and he wanted to gain more power. My place really interested him. He threatened me, tried to corner me into selling it, I didn’t want to budge, but he started to make threats toward Jo as well, and I understood it would be too dangerous to stay. I still didn’t want to sell to him, because I didn’t want to give him that victory. That’s when I heard that the Winchester company some offers around to find a place for a store. I immediately did everything to come in contact with them, and offer to sell. That’s when I met Dean Winchester’s son. I knew that once they would buy, Connor wouldn’t dare to go against them. It was my last ‘fuck you’ to them.”

She took another gulp and Castiel was completely agape. That story was the reason why he had hated Dean Winchester at first, the reason why he had despised him at first sight, before he even spoke to him. And now, he understood it was false.

“I guessed it was much better for him to pretend Dean Winchester took me down before they could, rather than admit I screwed him over by selling to another he couldn’t reach.”

“Yeah.”

He spoke a bit more with Ellen, still baffled as he understood that even though Dean didn’t buy her bar just to help, he didn’t force her to leave either, it had actually been an opportunity for her. He told her about his little girl and she showed herself pretty enthusiastic to meet her.

They eventually joined the group again and he went to his future husband who was still speaking with Jo. Before Dean could react, Castiel kissed him. In spite of the surprise, he returned the kiss eagerly and embracing him. That taste of alcohol on those lips was more intoxicating than any other drinks and Dean had to hold because he felt like he was swaying. Castiel parted the kiss as well, feeling a strange sensation, like a creeping shiver and attributed that to the alcohol. _You hardly drunk anything tonight_.

“Dance with me?”

Castiel grinned and nodded. The dance was strange, he never allowed Dean to get too close, but he still danced with him. As they both moved, they felt that weird sensation between them, like sweet electricity, but neither voiced it. Between the anger, and the strange connection forming between them, Castiel didn’t even know what he was feeling anymore, so he just danced, letting himself drift a bit. 

It was around 3 am when they left. The group had separated, and while Ellen had went back to her daughter’s flat, Jo had decided to escort Charlie home. Marc, Kevin, Lenore and Benny also left. Castiel and Dean remained a bit, and as everyone had left, Dean told his future husband.

“There are some things we’ll have to talk about. You didn’t tell me everything.”

“Surely not. I didn’t want to. Why would I?”

He wasn’t drunk, but he was tired, overwhelmed by everything. Seeing Ellen, Jo and even Crowley had been really strange. Dean took his face in his hands and leaned closer.

“You remember when I told you I preferred honest hatred rather than fake love…”

With that, he kissed him, and pressed Castiel against the counter. Almost as if he had to hold on something, Castiel gripped Dean’s shirt and allowed him to kiss him and bend him over slightly. He should have pushed him away, but tonight it felt easy to kiss Dean. They broke the kiss and Dean was about to go for another But Castiel stopped him this time.

“Let’s go.”

Though he was disappointed, Dean nodded and freed him from his grasp. The car was down the street, they had to walk a bit. It didn’t bother Castiel, the smell of alcohol inside was a bit smothering, and a bit of fresh air before getting into the car was welcome.

“How did you meet Jo and Ellen? Couldn’t believe you knew them.”

“Trust me, I was very surprised to see them here.”

“An Crowley? He told me some things.”

“Yeah, I guess he…”

“Look what we have here!”

Their attention was called and they saw three men advancing toward them. They stopped walking, any sensation of tiredness fading away. It reminded Castiel of the night he had faced Dean’s lackey, the way they were looking at them was all the same. But this time those guys were thugs, and Dean was obviously not their boss.

“If you know what’s best for you, you’ll back off,” Dean simply declared. “We don’t have time for this.”

“Too bad, because we do,” the leader of three snarled while taking out a knife.

Dean and Cas’ looked at each other and then back at the attackers. Even the thugs didn’t see it coming. They threw themselves at the three men, Castiel immediately punching one before elbowing another while Dean disarmed the one with the knife by twisting his arm as hard as he could. The guy let go of the knife but elbowed Dean in the chest, making him release his grasp and punched him in the face. Backing away, Dean was still not down, though. Dodging another blow, he gave a hard punch between the guy’s ribs. The guy bent over in pain, but before Dean could attack again, a yelp from Castiel took his attention.

Cas’ had just been grabbed from behind by the broadest of his two opponents but he kicked the other one right in the crotch before he could take advantage of that to hit him. Gathering himself, Dean’s opponent pushed him against the closest car before he could go and help Cas’. Growling, he retaliated with a head butt and kicked the thug away toward the closest wall. As the guy crashed against it, Dean grabbed his face and pushed his head hard against the bricks. Crumbling, the man fell at Dean’s feet.

He looked up to see Cas’ who had been able to free himself. Dodging a punch from the broadest one, Cas elbowed the guy right in the face, and Dean rushed to kick the other one before he could attack his future husband by behind. Before he could recollect his spirit, Cas’ grabbed his opponent by the hair and pushed him against the tall one who just got kicked by Dean, making them collide violently. He gave another punch in one guy’s face, making him fell and knocked him off with one last kick. Dean grabbed the last conscious one and pinned him against a car.

“What the fuck was that?! Who sent you?!”

“… _cough_ …No one, we just…”

Dean pressed him furthermore and yelled: “Don’t fucking lie! Who sent you?!”

“I swear! We just target people coming out of rich clubs!”

“I see…”

Dean gave him one last punch, knocking him out. Castiel took out his phone, and called the cops. Silently, Dean was already thinking of how he would unveil the truth. He was sure this was no coincidence, but who sent them? A mobster? The Church of Hope? Or somebody else?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it!


	11. The plane

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! That one is shorter than the precedent, but I hop you'll still like it!

The thugs were put in a cell quickly, as for Dean and Cas’, they got home as soon as they reported it. The dogs greeted them with whimpers, as if they could feel something happened, an Cas’ immediately went to see his daughter. It was weird, but he needed to see her whenever something like that happened. He silently went in her room and distinguished her small frame in a bed and heard her breathing. Fearing to wake her up, he went out. The nanny was sleeping in the room beside hers, of course, she was a professional and yet Cas’ kinda wished Mrs Simmons had been the one to babysit her.

He went to the room he and Dean were now sharing. He saw his future husband bare chest, he had a bruise, along with a swollen lip, but he still looked good. Cas’ had a few bruises too, but he felt fine, still satisfied from winning a fight.

“I’m gonna sleep like a log,” Dean declared. “There is still one thing, though: Crowley told me you were a fighter in his fighting ring?”

“Yep. Does that shock you?”

“I didn’t imagine you like that!”

Castiel grinned at this, he liked to surprise people, and Dean seemed more genuinely astonished than outraged.

“There was a time I didn’t have much money, I had to study to become a teacher, and then I had Claire. Her mother left when she was only a few weeks old. So even if I had a small student loan, I still had a lot of bills to pay. I knew how to fight, and I had already done that in illegal rings when I was a teen, so it was one of the best way to gain money. Those were happening at night, so during the day, I was free to juggle between my daughter and my studies.”

“Wow…How did you manage?”

“Well, it wasn’t easy, but I had to go on, I wanted to become a teacher to have a respectable life. When Anna gave me a chance, it was a relief.”

He intended to sleep, his eyelids were getting heavier. Yet he had to as Castiel one last thing: “Why did you kiss me this time? Your father wasn’t around.”

“I don’t know…Let’ say I had been a bit prejudiced against you. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still mad at you, you’re still freaking selfish! But I admit I was wrong about some things, and at that moment I just wanted to kiss you to…Let go.”

“I’m not sure to understand.”

“It’s a long story, maybe it should wait for tomorrow. Don’t we have a plane to catch the next afternoon?”

“Yeah. You packed along with Claire?”

“Of course we did. Good night.”

They did fell asleep like logs. In the morning, Dean almost broke the clock-alarm when it rung, he growled and looked at Castiel. He saw his husband had his eyes open, breathing steadily.

“Hey…Slept well?”

He got no answer at all, in fact, Cas’ didn’t move at all. This was like an adrenaline shot, he sat up and shook the man at his side, understanding immediately what was going on.

“Hey! Snap out of it!”

Castile blinked and moved very slightly before finally shifting. He rubbed his eyes and sat, Dean’s hand still on his shoulder.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to panic, I know how to handle that.”

“Still!”

Cas’ huffed in amusement, yet that concern was quite touching. They took breakfast with Claire, the babysitter left as soon as they were awake, and the little girl babbled happily, not aware that the two men hadn’t slept much. She was excited to take the plane and go to the sea.

“We’ll swim, and we’ll jump in water!” She exclaimed.

“We will, sweetie, be sure of that.”

“We take the doggies?”

“No, they’ll stay here with Mrs Simmons,” Dean explained.

She was disappointed but still happy. When they finally went to the airport, Dean decided to drive, though he had a driver, he sometimes liked to go by himself. And this time was one of those, especially since he wanted to discuss some things with his future husband. To be honest, he was pretty impatient to get out of here, not only to see Sam but also because he wanted to get away. He knew someone was plotting against him, and it was better to be away from New York for some times, it would be better for Cas’ and Claire, and even for himself. It would give him time to think. As Claire started to doze in the car, lulled by the moves of the car, Dean decided to go back to their last night’s conversation.

“What were you talking about when you said you were prejudiced against me?”

After a short hesitation, Castiel just shrugged. “Well, I knew Ellen and Jo, and one day, I learned Ellen was selling and moving away from New York. She didn’t tell me why, but I heard rumors.”

Without any lies, he explained him the whole thing. Dean snorted when he heard all this. He felt weird, almost like he was seeing things in a new light, and a lot of thing made more sense now. He felt a lump in his throat he attempted to ignore.

“So those fuckers would rather pretend an eighteen years old guy snatched what they wanted instead of admitting that Ellen would rather sell to me? Pretty pathetic.”

“That’s why he didn’t last long,” Castiel answered.

Dean looked at him briefly before watching the road again. “So, that’s why you disliked me so much.”

“Yeah…”

“You could have asked me!”

“When? At the cocktail? Should I have asked you: ‘Hey sir, are you the one who forced a woman to sell her bar for your benefit?’ You would have considered it an insult.”

Dean rolled his eyes but had to admit it wasn’t untrue. Now he thought of everything that happened, the way Castiel got away from him the first night he saw him, looked at him with such distaste…

“Is that why you crashed against my car?”

With a huff, Castiel replied in an amused voice: “No, I didn’t know it was yours, it was a coincidence. I really was a bit drunk.”

A short silence followed. Dean could have protested it had been unfair of him to believe that, yet he knew how powerful rumors could be, and rich families would always have their lot of stupid gossips and lies. This wasn’t the first one, nor the last, but Dean couldn’t just brush it off. 

“I thought you hated me because I was rich.”

“What?”

“You don’t seem to like rich people much.”

“I don’t hate them all, I like that Harold guy who flirted with Lexie, and your friends aren’t exactly middle-class and I still find them nice. Anyway I didn’t hate you for that.”

“But…” Dean trailed, knowing there was a ‘but’.

“Let’s say that most of times my experience with rich people wasn’t pleasant. The rich students we had already, well…Let’s say their parents thought they were above everything. For example, I remember the first time I punished one of those students for not making her homework. Her parents came and acted as if I had punished their daughter for nothing and threatened Anna like crazy. In the end she had to yield. I hated that, I mean how am I supposed to teach if the parents will not allow me to bring discipline?”

“The ‘my child is entitled to anything’? I know it. To be honest there were some kids who had parents like that in my school. And there were others who had parents like my dad.”

“Which means?”

“Well, one time I had detention and I refused to attend, my dad was called at school. When he came, he was explained everything, and instead of defending me, he asked the teacher to give me twice more detention. When I asked him why, he told me he didn’t want me to misbehave and that it was part of their job to punish whenever I screwed up. He also told me he didn’t like having to ride to school because of me!”

Castiel couldn’t help but laugh a bit at the last sentence. “Your dad seemed like the tough but fair kind.”

“Yeah, that’s pretty much it. He valued hard work, he had to do a lot to build what he did, and he didn’t want us to become lazy.”

“…About your brother, since I’m gonna meet him, can you tell me what really happened? I mean after all, you know a bit about my past”

“Well, the story you heard is quite true. He met Jessica when he was like seventeen. She was really a middle-class girl, and maybe it was the way she was so impressed by everything we had, but we were suspicions. My father and I thought she was with him for money. Now that I think about it, it was maybe natural for her to react like that, she wasn’t used to those things. We argued a lot about it with Sam. One day, he told us they intended to live together and that he would propose her in the future. My father told him that they had to break up otherwise Sam would have no money from him anymore.”

He took a deep breath, it was painful to remember that, but he went on: “He didn’t really want to punish Sam, it was just a way to make Jessica show her true colors. We were sure she would dump Sam as soon as he would be broke. Well, it was the contrary. She said that if Sam was ready to throw away everything for her, then he was the man of her life. She actually supported him at first, I heard, before he got a job. My father offered to send him money afterward, to make peace and so did I, but Sam refused, he was mad at us.”

“I can understand why!” Castiel huffed. “Why were you two so wary of her? Even if she was impressed, it wasn’t that much of a reason! I mean if she was from a modest family as you said, that was understandable.”

Dean hesitated and his expression was so grave Castiel realized there was something else, something really bad.

“I will explain more one day, but not now. We’re close to the airport anyway.”

Dean was nervous as they advanced. He never liked the plane, he had a fear of flying and if it wasn’t for Sam, he wouldn’t have taken the plane. It wasn’t the first time, his job had required it sometimes, and he hated it each time. Claire looked excited as hell however.

“We’re gonna fly high?”

“Very high, honey! You know it’s the first time Daddy takes a plane?”

“Seriously?” Dean answered before the girl could.

“Yes. I already took the train, but not the plane. I never went out of the East Coast.”

“You don’t seem nervous.”

“No, not really. When you think about it, there are less car accident than plane crashes.”

“Those are deadlier!”

Castiel titled his head and grinned a bit: “You’re scared.”

“No, I just don’t like it.”

His future husband giggled and Dean threw him a deadly look. Once in the plane, Claire was smiling like crazy, even her dad seemed impressed but Dean had to take a deep breath to keep composure. They had taken a second-class travel, there were no seats left in First-class and Dean honestly didn’t care. When the engine started, he tensed, making Cas’ smirk a bit.

“We are flying?”

“No, sweetie, when Dean will puke then it will mean we are flying,” he teased.

“Eww,” the kid uttered with a grimace.

“Your daddy is kidding, I’m not gonna vomit. Being scared doesn’t mean you’re gonna have throw up,” he declared with another deadly look toward Cas’

“So you admit it: you are scared!”

“…Shut up,” he growled with embarrassment, making Castiel even more satisfied and amused.

He held his breath when the plane actually started flying and Claire look with fascination outside, her dad rubbing her back, happy to see her so excited. “We fly!” She exclaimed that out loud, making some people laugh, Dean cracked a smile as well in spite of his nervousness. Her dad kissed the top of her head.

“Indeed, we’re gonna go above the clouds,” he murmured.

Time passed too slowly for Dean, but he was amused by Claire, she had been ecstatic when they had been through the clouds, and was now quieter, looking outside with wonder. Her dad had also been impressed but he was now reading. Dean couldn’t believe how relaxed he was, like he had always done that when it was actually the first time he travelled like that. He looked at what Castiel was reading and was quite surprised to see it was _The Merchant of Venice_ by Shakespeare. He raised an eyebrow, was this really what he liked to read? But now that he thought about it, he had been looking at the library with a lot of interest.

“You read Shakespeare? You’re not working.”

“I enjoy it even outside work.”

Well, he wasn’t an English teacher for nothing. “…You’re one hell of a nerd, you’ll get along with Sam.”

“Shakespeare helped me a lot, in a way you wouldn’t know, William Blake too, not sure if you know who he is.”

Dean rolled his eyes at this. “I do. I’m not a bookworm but I went to school, you know.”

“And you like it?”

“Not really.”

Castiel shrugged and went back to what he was reading. The little girl was starting to wave her legs, and Dean picked up the signs of impatience. Even though she was fascinated by the view outside, she was still a child and sitting for too long was annoying to her.

“You want to be at sea already?”

“I am a mermaid! And there are fish in the sea,” she uttered with excitement.

“Of course, I saw many. You know, we would go in California with my brother when we were little.”

“In plane?”

“Yes, in a plane. We would go with my mom and my dad and we would sail on a boat. You already went on a boat?”

The little girl seemed to think, and then shook her head. Dean smiled: “On the boat we took, we saw dolphins and whales, even a shark. We’ll do that with your dad.”

She gaped at this. Castiel put down his book and took another one for Claire, a child book about sea animals h had bought for her yesterday. The kid looked at it with some excitement, but mostly remained focused on the clouds. Eventually, Castiel softly told her a short story and she fell asleep, leaning her had against her dad’s arm. Now that she was sleeping again, Castiel asked something that had started to nag him since they got into the plane. He leaned closer because he didn’t want people to hear.

“Dean…I was thinking about those guys again I remembered something: you asked who sent them.”

“I did.”

“Why do you think someone sent them?”

Dean hesitated and finally explained: “I have enemies, and I know some of them are trying to get to me. It might not be linked, but I needed to be sure.”

“What do you mean by that? Is Claire in danger?”

“No, I have no reasons to think so.”

He said that to reassure him, but he actually had no insurance. He knew damn well that some people didn’t shy away from targeting children. Unwanted memories resurfaced again and he bit his lip. When he asked Castiel to marry him, he didn’t know someone was trying to get to him, now he knew and he was scared for the two of them. Maybe they wouldn’t be targets, maybe those thugs had only been sent for him, maybe Castiel wasn’t supposed to be here. Yet he doubted that. He would have to be very careful. Could he trust Crowley? After all the man did warn him, but maybe that was because he wanted to make Dean drop his guard.

A sudden move from the plane startled him and he tensed, not thinking about all this anymore. The little girl growled slightly, kinda sounding like a kitten. Castiel looked at Dean once more and waited a bit.

“I don’t want anything to happen to my daughter.”

“I’ll never allow it.”

This time he was entirely sincere. Whoever was doing this wouldn’t hide in the shadows for long, Dean wouldn’t let them. A plan started to form in his mind, it would take some times, though. They landed smoothly, and Dean was relieved to finally walk out. Castiel was carrying Claire in his arms, a warm wind blew strongly as they walked outside of the plane. A buzzing sound was heard and Dean’s guts tightened as he saw it was a message from Sam indicating where he and Jessica were waiting.

He was going to see them again…Was Jessica still angry at him? How would it go with Castiel? He would know soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't hesitate to review!


	12. Family Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the time it took to update! I must say that one was awkward to write, maybe simply because it was awkward for the characters. Not my fav chapter but not bad either, I liked to write the scenes on the beach! Hope you’ll enjoy it!

There weren’t many things which could make Dean tremble in nervousness. He had dealt with Wall Street sharks and mobsters and none of them had ever made him tremble. But here he was trembling as he looked around for his little brother. He spotted him quite easily, Sam was taller than most people.

A smile appeared on his face before he realized it. He had changed quite a bit, but in a flash, Dean could still see the eighteen years old boy who told them he wanted to settle with his girlfriend. That boy was still here, because the girl was still here as well, holding hands with him, with a slightly swollen belly. Sam spotted him as well and smiled too, leading Jess along. Feeling a slight shake, Dean just turned to Cas’.

“Here they are.”

The two brothers hugged each other before saying anything. No matter what happened in the past, right now, they were just happy to see each other.

“It’s good to see you!” Sam just uttered, almost lost with words.

“It’s good to see you too!” He let go of his brother and looked at him more closely: “You got tanner! Now you’re a tanned moose.”

“Yeah, well, some tan would do you some good!”

“Shut up!”

Being a bit left out, Castiel and Jess looked at each other, and she smiled.

“So you’re Castiel, and that’s Claire, am I right?”

“Yeah, and I guess you’re Jessica,” He told her, handing out his hand which she took while Claire looked at the beautiful woman in admiration. “Hey honey, you can call me Jess,” she told her. The little girl turned her head away with a big smile and Castiel huffed in amusement.

“She can be shy when she meets strangers.”

“She wasn’t shy with me,” Dean pointed out genuinely, his attention back to them.

“You can’t impress everyone,” Sam teased nicely.

“It’s normal, she is often impressed whenever she meets a pretty woman. Like when she met Lexie or Anna,” Castiel explained

“That’s flattering then,” Jessica concluded, giggling a bit.

“I guess Sammy’s gonna make one hell of an impression over her,” Dean joked.

“Shut up.”

This came with a big smile though, it was nice to see his big brother hadn’t completely changed. He turned to Cas’ then, and extended his hand.

“I’m sorry, I’m Sam.”

“Castiel Novak, glad to meet you.”

The exchange was warm, Dean and Jessica however looked at each other with awkwardness. He felt guilt rising again, he remembered her when she was seventeen and intimidated by him and John, and how cold he had often been to her. She gave him a tiny grin, though.

“Glad to see you too, it’s been a long time.”

“Yeah, too long.”

“Maybe we should go. There is a bit of road, and your little girl is probably tired,” she suggested.

“Not for now but she’ll probably be soon,” he assured.

Taking his daughter by the hand, Castiel followed them as they went to the car, the child was still excited, though her nap in the plane hadn’t been long, she was full of energy now that there was so much going on around. The drive back was pretty animated, Claire asking many questions when she heard Jess was going to have a baby. Castiel bit his lip, knowing she would ask him one day where baby came from, he hadn’t thought yet of what he would tell her.

He looked outside with some strange fascination while talking, it was really the first time he was coming to the West Coast, and he had to say it was beautiful, California definitely had charm. And he was happy to be in a small city, although Dean had assured him Los Angeles was beautiful, being in a small city was an even bigger change. He was still curious to see L.A., though. They mostly speak of the places to visit and the best beaches where they could go. The house Dean was renting for a few days wasn’t far from theirs, it wouldn’t be hard to spend time together.

Their house wasn’t very big, but as Sam said, it was theirs, and it was lovely. It wasn’t that far from the sea, and though it couldn’t really compare to their family house, it was definitely a good place, perfectly fine enough for a small family, modern and well taken care of.

“I hope you and your daughter aren’t allergic to cats?” Sam asked to Castiel. “We just got one.”

“No, it will be alright.”

The big black cat was waiting for his owner inside, laying nonchalantly on the couch. But when he saw Claire running toward him in excitement, he sprinted away like crazy.

“Claire, don’t run after the cat you’re just scaring him.” Her dad took her by the shoulders to stop her while saying so.

“Want the kitty!”

“His name is Salem,” Jessica explained. “We’ll show you how to pet him.”

She was still pouting, though. They turned on the lights and Dean smiled, the inside felt a bit homely, it was decorated in a warm and sober style, a bit like their family house.

“Thought you would have had a dog,” Dean pointed out.

“Yeah, we thought of it, but then that cat came and decided this was his house. We didn’t seek him, he just decided he would live here from now on.”

“And you couldn’t say no,” Dean huffed in amusement.

“Indeed. Betty is dead, isn’t she?” He had a twinge of nostalgia thinking of their old dog, she was a sweetheart and he used to love her. He hadn’t seen her since he was seventeen, and at times, he would wonder how she was. Considering her age back then, he was pretty sure she was now dead. It also made something in Dean twitch, they both loved that dog.

“Yep, she was old. She got two pups, though, Jasper and Sasquatch.”

“Sasquatch? That’s the nickname you gave me! You, bitch!”

Dean laughed at this and shrugged. In normal times he would have just teased his little brother but he had decided to smooth it down a bit. A bit. “I just missed you.”

Sam rolled his eyes with a smile and went to the kitchen and put something in the oven before turning it on.

“We will have dinner soon, we just have to warm it up. You haven’t told us what your job is,” Sam pointed out while coming back.

“I’m an English Teacher, and you?”

“I became a lawyer, specialized in children’s rights,” Sam explained.

“As for me I’m a psychiatrist,” Jessica explained. “I’m not specialized yet, I still hesitate. Oh, I forgot, you want to drink something? We have some nice wine.”

“Fine with me,” Dean replied.

After her dad gave her the small toys he had brought for her, Claire sat on the carpet near the couch and started to play, still looking around in hope to spot the cat. Castiel spotted something on the coffee table: tarot cards. With curiosity, he took those and observed, it looked traditional although he had no idea what it was really supposed to be like. He really understood nothing to that.

“It’s Marseille’s Tarot. You want me to draw cards for you?” Jessica’s voice surprised him. She sat on the couch, putting down the drinks while Castiel was still standing.

“Oh! I’ll be fine. You believe in those things?”

“No, but it helps thinking. You see, each cards have a signification, but if you read several books or ask several people about it, you’ll see they never give you the exact same meaning. So it’s quite open to interpretation; When I draw cards, let’s say, I ask myself whether or not I want to try to have my own cabinet, I can draw the cards and depending on what I have under my eyes, it can help me consider what the dangers are, why it would be good. It doesn’t give me the future, but it clear out my own pros and cons, the dilemmas.”

“I see. Never thought of it like that. You want to open your own cabinet?”

“Yeah, but it’s risky.”

“You should do it,” Sam interjected while sitting at her side, passing an arm around her shoulders. “It would be better than the clinic.”

“Where are you working now?” Dean asked, standing at Castiel’s side and watching the cards with curiosity as well.

“Oh, the local psychiatric hospital. I would like to be more independent but nothing says I will have enough patients.”

They continued to talk and eventually dined. They had cooked duck with vegetables, something Castiel didn’t remember eating before, but it was delicious. Even Claire who looked at it in a dubitative way ended up loving it.

“How did the two of you met, by the way?” Jessica asked.

Hell, Castiel knew that question would come. Dean just replied with perfect calmness: “In a club, the Blue Jungle, Sam and I used to go in here.”

“Yeah, I accidently bumped into his car.”

He didn’t miss the twinge of nervousness in Dean’s eyes and kinda enjoyed it.

“You got a car accident?”

“No, I was walking on the sideway, I was a bit drunk and I stumbled and fell against his car. He wasn’t happy.”

Dean rolled his eyes, a shade of pink appearing with the embarrassment. Sam giggled. “It was the Impala, right? That was your dad’s car,” he clarified for Jess. He knew his brother perfectly.

“Yep. I wondered why the hell some guy had suddenly decided to crash against it!”

“I didn’t really ‘decide’, otherwise I would have landed on something a bit smoother!”

Both Sam and Jess laughed at this but Dean bit his lip, though he was still smiling. Now that he remembered that, his reaction might have been petty. Yeah, Castiel hadn’t been a peach, but he was drunk, he had also been quite a jerk while being drunk in the past.

They remained together a bit, talking about one another, and about small things. Claire eventually fell asleep, and Castiel had to carefully collect her in his arms and laid her in the car, only earning a few grunts.

Dean hadn’t shown him any pictures of the small house he had rented, it looked pretty though Castiel couldn’t see much considering night had already fallen. Yet even under the nightly sky, the sea was beautiful, with the moon and stars above it softly enlightening the dark rocks and the sand while the water would remain as black as ink. This place had a magnificent view.

He smiled before getting in, Claire still limp in his arms, snoring very softly. Dean and he quickly found the smaller room for the little girl. As Castiel put her in the bed, he looked at her small form before exiting the room. He could have visited the rest of the house, but he decided to go out instead. He wanted to watch the sea. The house was on the cliff, a wooden barrier around the garden, which was good for Claire’s security. He leaned against it, and just contemplated everything.

You wouldn’t see much of the city from here, mostly the sea and stars, and it felt incredibly peaceful. He felt a strange vertigo as he could think of everything. He was so far away from New York! God to think of how far he was and how his life had changed! That serene landframe and the quiet night gave him all the space needed to reflect over that. Strangely, he wasn’t really worried for himself or Claire anymore. Anyway, if Dean ever tried to hurt him or his daughter, he would fight back. He didn’t know what he would do, but weirdly enough, he had confidence he could do something.

_‘But I doubt he will do something stupid.’_

He breathed deeply, absorbing the air as if he was absorbing the ocean as well. He looked at the water, it was still possible to see the moves of the waves, it was entrancing, he could have stayed here all night maybe. He heard the footsteps behind him, but didn’t make a move until Dean was standing at his side. He just turned his head to look at him and looked back at the black water.

“What are you doing?”

“Just watching and enjoying. You should try.”

“Why?”

“Something tells me you don’t spend enough time on those things.”

Shrugging, Dean leaned against the rails, at his side. That expression he had…It was quite like the one he had when he was dancing. He longed to touch him, but he was aware he wouldn’t be welcome. There was some melancholy as well in his expression. Was Castiel…

“You’re not thinking of jumping?”

This time, the man looked at him with astonishment. “How did you know?”

A cold feeling crept through him. He didn’t want Castiel to do that or to even think of it! Dean’s expression made him laugh as he realized what kind of misunderstanding just occured.

“I’m not talking about killing myself! No, I was just wondering what it would be like to just dive in the ocean while it’s so dark, so peaceful.”

The relief on Dean’s face was very clear, and Castiel couldn’t help but smile. “Don’t joke with this, it’s not funny.”

“I know, I’m well aware. I was thinking of jumping, but not like some morbid thing, just what it would be like to dive and how it would feel to swim in those dark waters.”

Of course…He remembered what Castiel told him about his mother, of course he was well aware.

“If Claire wasn’t sleeping, I would have suggested you to go down the road and to the beach to swim. But well…”

“Indeed, it’s impossible.”

Dean looked back at the ocean again, thinking of Castiel’s words. There would be some thrills indeed to imagine what it would be like to swim in those dark waters, to have the ocean for yourself. “You love it, don’t you?”

He only got a nod as an answer. A part of him told him he should have left Cas’ alone, but he also had the feeling this was the good moment to try to bond.

“There is one thing we didn’t discuss.”

“What?”

“Our Honeymoon. Where should we go?”

Indeed, that was something he never thought about. “I don’t know, but what should we do with Claire? Generally couples don’t go with their children.”

“She could stay with someone else. One of your friends, or Mrs Tidler, maybe.”

The serene expression disappeared and Dean kinda wanted to slap himself. “I never left her alone for so long. I never even left her for an entire day.”

“I understand. But we don’t have to go for a long time. You trust your friend Anna, don’t you?”

Thinking about it, it’s true that he did intend to leave her with Anna first, because he was scared of what Dean could do to her. It was a different time, of course, but asking Anna to babysit her for a few days was nothing compared to it.

“I guess…I would feel a bit guilty to leave her while I enjoy some travel.”

“Oh, you know kids don’t really realize at that age. And it would be only that one time, for the Honeymoon. We could take other vacations with her.”

He thought of it, maybe Dean was right, Claire wouldn’t remember much of it, and maybe she would be more tired than anything. He also guessed it would appear more natural to the public.

“Where would we go?”

Getting a bit closer, Dean hoped he would like what he had to offer. Their elbows lightly touched, Castiel briefly turned to him and Dean looked at the sea as well.

“I thought of Greek Islands after meeting your friend Pacome. It’s beautiful, if you like the sea, you would love it. Or Egypt, I guess it’s past descriptions, I went there once but it was a long time ago.”

Now that would be fantastic indeed! He thought over it, unable to decide. Biting his lips, Dean couldn’t but imagine the two of them together in the ocean right now, with no one to see them or hear them. It was an exciting thought to think they would have intimacy in the open air. Funny, he never fantasized about making love in the sea before.

“It’s hard to choose but…Maybe Greece. I would like to discover Egypt with her,” his future husband explained, interrupting his thought.

“Yeah, I agree. I remember when we went to Egypt, I was eleven and Sam was seven. The pyramids had us amazed.”

“But what about you? Do you really want to go to Greece?”

“Of course, I love the sea too, you know, and Greece is wonderful, the food, the beaches, and the monuments.”

“Really? The monuments?”

Dean gave him an annoyed look. “I’m usually not into that stuff, but Greece and Egypt are exceptions. Is it that surprising?”

“Yeah, a bit.” He gave a little laugh. “It will be my first Honeymoon and travel out of the country. Never thought it would happen like that.” His smile disappeared and he became melancholic again. “I’m going to bed. I hope Claire won’t be lost when she’ll wake up.”

Dean watched him leave silently. He wasn’t even sure whether or not things were going well, Cas’ was less angry, but still distant. Maybe some times together would really help know each other. He looked at the landscape, thinking too, about what happened today, about Jess and Sam. They looked happy together, and right no he envied Sam. Looking at the sea, he wondered what his life would have been like, if maybe he had met Castiel in different circumstances, maybe when they were younger, before any prejudices could occur. How would have things evolved? His father would have probably been disapproving of Castiel, and himself…He wouldn’t have given his trust that easily.

As much as he loved his dad, he realized more and more how wrong John had been to be so wary of everyone. But now, Dean couldn’t completely blame him. All that because of _that_ woman. _Forget it. It’s in the past._

As he went back, yawning and longing to go to bed, he passed before Claire’s room and hoped she wouldn’t be lost as Castiel thought. She did wake up crying the next morning, and Castiel actually found himself wondering where he was for a slight moment and whose arms were wrapped around him. That moment of confusion didn’t last, he remembered who he went to bed with and where he was. But when did he allow Dean to take him in his arms?!

He roughly pushed him off of him and woke up immediately to go to his daughter who was crying, lost because she had no idea where she was.

“Daddy!” She extended her arms, big tears running on her face. He lifted her and kissed the top of her head.

“Calm down, sweetie! We’re at the house for the holiday, you remember? We’ll go to the sea, can you hear it?”

She was still sobbing but it lessened and she seemed to pay attention to the sounds outside. Castiel did as well and he grinned The rhythm of the waves and the gulls and birds singing could almost cover any car sounds. She extended her arms toward some birds flying above them, and Castiel huffed in amusement. He remembered Jess and Sam said they wouldn’t join them before the mid-afternoon, it would only be the three of them this morning. He looked at the house and had to admit Dean had good tastes. Last evening, he hadn’t paid that much attention to it. It was mostly wood and windows, giving it a traditional feeling coupled with the contemporary architecture. The best was probably the bay window giving a good view of the garden and the ocean. Claire didn’t paid much attention to that, all she cared about were the birds and the sea.

“We go swim?!”

“We will, but we’ll take breakfast first.”

He heard someone stepping out of the house and saw Dean coming toward them shirtless. To think he had hold him while being half-naked…He had to admit Dean was well-built, really. Overall, he was handsome, it was a truth he couldn’t deny. But why did he look so annoyed?

“Good morning.”

“’Morning. How are you doing, kiddo?”

“Wanna go swim!”

“Same for me,” Dean replied with a yawn;

Castiel put her down and she started to look at the flowers around. Dean grunted again and looked at his future husband with annoyance.

“Did you really have to push me like that? Not exactly the best way to wake up!”

“Sorry, your majesty, but I don’t think I allowed you to take me into your arms!”

“I did it when I was asleep, I wasn’t even aware! I told you I wouldn’t do anything to you without your consent.”

Castiel wondered if he was lying or not. He doubted it, Dean had been rather straightforward until now when he had been an ass.

“You know, you accidentally put your hand in my face, you kinda slapped me during sleeping,” Dean grumbled.

“Tonight?!”

“Yeah! See: you don’t remember it.”

“I guess that does reflect our mutual wants. But well, let’s have breakfast, Claire is hungry.”

Though he didn’t reply immediately, Dean pondered over those words. After a rather quick breakfast, they went own toward the beach, the little girl was very excited, looking at the waves with fascination. Once they walked on the sand, she ran toward the water and her dad caught her back, not wanting her to go alone.

“Wait for us, sweetie.”

Even though her dad was careful, Dean was pretty sure he was as gleeful as his daughter. They settled their stuff and unlike Dean, Castiel kept his tee-shirt, and he was about to ask him why when he remembered the scars on his back. It was understandable. He had wished to see his shirtless, though, but he was still handsome.

“Come on, let’s go swim a bit!”

“Yeah!” Claire exclaimed excitedly.

He would keep a good old on her even though she had her inflatable arm bands, still trying to teach her how to swim. Dean mostly watched them at first, though he was pretty amused to see that Cas’ was as enthusiastic as his daughter.

“You look like a kid yourself!”

“Well, I grew up in a small town by the ocean. Everything here kinda reminds me of it, and I always loved swimming in the sea, better than a swimming pool.”

“Yeah, I can’t disagree on that.”

He was just about to swim again when he caught one look from Castiel, one quick glance, but Dean noticed. He knew that kind of stares…His future husband just checked him out! He couldn’t believe it, Castiel told him he just wanted to slap him but it seemed otherwise right now. Feeling in a teasing mood, he waited a bit and when Castiel returned to the beach, letting Claire go and play with some other kids, he got close to him. They were just standing close, not touching, just close enough to feel each other, just like that time in the store where he had bought him a suit.

“It’s pretty hot.”

Castiel looked at him in surprise and Dean cracked an innocent smile. “The sun is getting higher, you should be careful she doesn’t get any sunburn.”

“…Oh.”

For once, Castiel looked like he didn’t know what to say or do, and he could have sworn his face had gotten a bit redder. Lord, he loved that! To think that maybe he could take him out of balance, not because he would threaten him with his power, but because he was seducing him.

“Why are you standing so close to me?”

“Why is that a bother? We sleep together, after all…”

Castiel’s eyes widened a bit, then he huffed and gave Dean a glare. “Technically, we do,” he whispered. “And I also want to remind those two women looking at you that you’re not single.”

“What?”

With a slight nod he showed him two women looking in their direction. He had noticed them looking at Cas and at him too. “They probably wish you were shirtless. So do I, but not for them.”

“Stop that,” Cas’ grumbled with some annoyance and a bit of red on the cheeks.

Dean just chuckled but did stop, after all he got what he wanted so he just went back to the water. When noon came, they went back home to eat and to let Claire have a nap before going back to the beach to retrieve Cas’ and Jess. Since they had to stay home a bit, Dena took that occasions to check out some things for work while Castiel read a bit. They didn’t talk much, but they were fine reading and working in the same space. 

He had received a mail from Charlie, there had been no new attempt to hack the system, and she also announced him that she would come to the wedding with Jo. He smiled at this, his friend definitely didn’t loose time while he was away! He still wasn’t sure whether or not the recent events (the fake rumors, the hacking and the mugging attempt) were linked, but it was good to know nothing wrong happened while he was gone.

Claire interrupted that quiet time when she came out of her room, full of energy again. “Dad! Dean!”

Surprised to hear his name called by the little girl, Dean stopped his work. “Hey kiddo.”

“Got a good sleep sweetie?

“Wanna go swim again!”

Not only that wish was granted but he also got an ice-cream once they returned to the beach and she looked like nothing could have made her happier than to have vanilla all over her mouth and chin. At his surprise, she had asked Dean to carry her on their way to the beach. He had accepted of course, he just wasn’t expecting the little girl to ask such a thing, Castiel didn’t seem that astonished though.

Sam and Jess joined them soon enough. It was obvious that Sam was proud to have Jess at his arm, Dean could understand the feeling; he was also damn proud to have Castiel, whenever he caught someone looking at his future husband, he enjoyed the envy. She was wearing a white bikini and her pregnancy was even more obvious. Claire looked at her again, quite fascinated while Jess sat on her towel with a satisfied sigh. 

“I think I will sunbath a bit.”

“You don’t want to go with me?”

“I’ll join you soon. For now, I need to just lay down.”

“Okay.”

With one last kiss to his wife, Sam went to the water. Claire went to run off to go swim as well and her dad followed her. Dean first thought of joining them but he looked down at Jessica who was relaxing. It was a good occasion to talk to her.

“Mind if I sat with you?”

“No, go ahead.”

He just seemed surprised by this. He did sat by her side and looked at his little brother, and searched for a subject of conversation. Maybe he should start with something more basic?

“We were talking about a destination for our Honeymoon yesterday, where did you two go?”

“We went to Cuba, it’s beautiful! One day we would like to go to Japan as well, but maybe later when the baby will be born.” She had a smile while saying that, her hands caressing her belly.

“Yeah, so they can see it. That’s why Cas’ didn’t want to go to Egypt for now, he wanted to discover it with Claire. So we decided to go to Greece.”

“Oh yeah, that’s would be wonderful too!”

A short silence settled between them, until Jessica broke it.

“You really wanted to talk to me about that?”

“No, I just didn’t want to be too direct…I wasn’t sure how to ask, but do you still hate me?”

She hesitated, even though she had resolved her feelings, she wasn’t sure how to spell those out. “I did at a time, at the beginning. I couldn’t understand why your dad and you disliked me that much. At first, I thought the two of you were snobs, that you didn’t want someone poorer. But eventually, Sam told me…”

Dean frowned: what was she talking about?

“He told me about that woman: Veronica.”

This was like a punch in the stomach to hear such a name. Veronica…

“He told you about that?!” He wasn’t angry, just shocked.

She nodded silently and caressed her belly again, but with no smile. “I understood you were being overprotective, not snobbish. I don’t say I have no resent left, but I don’t want that to linger. I want my baby to know their uncle, and I want Sam to see you.”

He looked at the sea and felt the need to go back again to Castiel and Claire, yet he didn’t want Jessica to think he was mad or something. He was touched to know she was willing to look over the past, but knowing she knew about what happened when they were kids…Well, he guessed that it was natural that Sam told her. And it was better that she could understand why John and Dean had reacted like that, even though they had been wrong. Would he have to tell Castiel? Well, probably, and it’s not as if he had anything to be ashamed of! Then why did he feel like he was exposed lie a rat lab or something?

“When did he tell you?”

“After your father died. I know the two of you didn’t talk much at his burial. Maybe you should fix that.”

“Yeah…Thank you,” he replied genuinely.

Veronica Vanni…Dear God, she was dead and yet she was still throwing a shadow over his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, hope you liked it! The next chapter will come out sooner, I had difficulties with that one but the other is already half-written. Review, please!


	13. Ocean's Charm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! And here we go with the new chapter, that one will be a bit tough for Dean!

Another sleep paralysis.

Castiel woke up with his eyes wide open however no part of him could move but his eyelids. Hell, another sleep paralysis! It was rare for him to have those so close. After his mother’s death he would have those almost every morning but as he grew up, it became occasional. Well, it became occasional after he got help. He breathed and remembered he had to keep collected, it became easy with time. He just had to wait for it to pass…

“ _Pray, Castiel. Your mother is in Hell, and demons are now waiting to take you with them.”_

_“Please Dad, don’t say that!”_

_His father grabbed him by the hair and forced him to lower his head. He was kneeling before the big cross in their living room. His father had made him pray all morning._

Why was he thinking of this? Why did he have to think of his father? He was far away.

_“Suicide is a sin, your mother was sinful, she defied me because of you! And now you’re just letting demons come close to you!”_

_He cried. Did he really cause his mother to die? Was she really in Hell? Were demons after him? He prayed, sobbing all the while._

Why did he have to think of that? He hated those memories, why did I have to haunt him now? Maybe it was because of a discussion he had with Jessica yesterday. It had been their third day here and Sam and Jess had showed them around a bit. Castiel had asked her about her family and she had eventually told him that her parents were religious and they had been really upset when she admitted them she was an atheist, but they were still tolerant enough to accept it. Castiel had never been an atheist, but at a point, he was starting to question his faith. His father never knew, but if he had…Simple doubts would have turned him crazy. Maybe that was what made him think of this? Or maybe the shock he had felt after seeing his father some days ago was resurfacing.

He heard Dean moving at his side and sigh. From the corner of his eyes, Castiel saw him sit up.

“’Morning…”

Castiel blinked and felt that he could start to move again. A hand touched his shoulder and he sluggishly sat against the headboard.

“You got another one?”

“A paralysis? Yes. It’s fine, though.”

“If stress is the cause, ‘I’d tell you to get some vacations, but we’re already here.”

Huffing in amusement, Castiel just rubbed his forehead. Titling his head, Dean looked at him with some worry: “Maybe you do need a doctor.”

His breath was cut off, amusement disappeared and this time he was just baffled: “Are you telling me to go see a shrink?”

“That might help you.”

“Yeah, the day you’ll go and see one to solve your own issues, I’ll consider it!”

“I don’t have issues!”

“You do! Don’t even try to deny it, especially not to me.”

Dean sighed at this: “I was suggesting nicely. Why do you always need to be bitchy like this?”

“I’m not always bitchy, and considering the situation I could be worse. Anyway I warned you this wouldn’t be an easy ride, when you ‘proposed’ me.”

Indeed, Dean remembered that, Castiel defiantly telling him he wouldn’t submit easily.

“You say you could have been worse. Why aren’t you?”

“Because my daughter is in the middle. And why aren’t you worse than that? Not that you’ve been a peach most of times, but I imagined worse.”

“Well…Your daughter has to do with it, I guess. And…” He stopped here.

“What?”

“Drop it. I’m gonna get some breakfast.”

Though Castiel was about to protest and insist for him to tell him more, he forgot it when he heard Claire calling for him. He went to her room, Dean was already starting to prepare breakfast when he took her to the kitchen. Was it really true? Had Claire really influenced his behavior? After all, he was rather nice with her, he remembered the dress Dean offered her, or the little things like the ice-cream on the beach. Even the room he had for her, though he was pretty sure his was also a way to pressure Castiel into letting her live in his house. Even with him, after his proposal Dean had been a jerk but not really scary or threatening. Castiel didn’t consider lack of cruelty as kindness, but he had already met really dangerous and cruel people, and for now, Dean couldn’t really compare.

In fact, though he still didn’t know him since long, he wondered if Dean would really have carried on with his threats. What if it had been bluff all along? That was something he would probably figure out with time.

Right after breakfast, before he could check his mails, Dean received a phone call from Charlie. The day after the mugging attempt, he had sent her a message to ask her to keep an eye on Arthur Miller’s mails, he had to know who he was working with. She had installed a virus on his computer and whatever mails he received, she could read, and she also had access to his texts. He answered her calls immediately.

“ _Hey, Dean, how are things going?_ ”

“Pretty well for now, and you?” He could hear she was worried.

“ _Yep, I got some news: nothing suspicious about Arthur Miller for now, he is in contact with some member from that homophobic church, but from what I read of their exchange, they weren’t planning anything about you. Also…”_

She hesitated, making Dean frown. “What?”

“ _Don’t get mad, but you know I’m dating Jo, now?_ ”

“Yeah, you told me.” Why was she talking about that. He realized immediately why she was telling him that. “Don’t tell me she figured out?!”

“ _Yep, she understood something was going on, so I explained her everything, I didn’t want her to think we were doing something worse than spying on a guy who tried to hurt us._ ”

Dean groaned. He didn’t want too many people to know about it! On the other hand, leaving Jo in the dark could have been dangerous, she would have tried to know more, and having her asking questions around and all would have done more wrong than anything. Could he trust Jo with that kind of thing? He didn’t know, they had always been friendly, but he didn’t know how much he could trust her about that kind of things.

“ _In fact, she is here_ ,” Charlie added, “ _And she had an idea, I’ll let you talk to her_.”

Dean bit his lip, trying to contain himself. “ _Hey, Dean! Charlie told me you and Cas’ almost got mugged_.”

“Yeah, we’re both fine, don’t worry. He is taking care of his daughter right now.”

“ _Good. I can tell you anyway that I never heard of thugs targeting rich people around the club. There are a few fights, but it’s not like that_.”

“So either it was the first time they targeted people here, or I was right: they were sent by someone.”

“ _Yeah, and as I Charlie said, I had an idea: I thought of trying to get close to Miller and that stupid church_.”

“What?!”

“Yeah, he knows Charlie, but he had never seen me before. And I can really be angel-like when I want. I could try to know more about him and them.”

“No way, we don’t know who we are dealing with!”

“ _Dean, those guys almost tried to kill you and Castiel! I might have lost contact with him for a long time, but he is still someone I hold dear, my mother took care of him. If those guys tried to hurt the two of you, I want to do something. Anyway that guy is probably nothing but a pawn, I don’t take much risks._ ”

He thought over it. “Fine, you’ll go to that Church, you can talk to that guy, but you listen mostly, you don’t ask suspicious questions or anything, you don’t talk about me or the company, it would sound suspicious. And you’re not doing that right now, you’re waiting for me to come back, okay? We’ll plan that together, no initiative while I’m not around!”

“ _Okay, I promise to wait for you and to be careful_.”

He was relieved, he knew she would listen to that. Charlie took the phone again: “ _How is it going with your brother and his wife?_ ”

“Pretty fine for now, we’re getting along pretty well.”

Jo asked him to give Castiel the phone so she could talk to him. Though pretty surprised, Cas’ took the phone with enthusiasm and they spoke for some minutes, exchanging news and talking about Claire and Ellen. This reminded Dean of something, and when Castiel hung up and gave him the phone back, he put it back in his pocket and stood before his future husband.

“There is something we didn’t talk about: divorce.”

“Yeah?”

“…That story has to be believable, so we have to stay together for some times. But if you eventually want to leave me, I won’t object. And of course, the same goes for me, if I want to divorce, we will.”

He raised an eyebrow, weirdly, he hadn’t thought about it much, but he had pretty much thought Dean wouldn’t let him leave until he would grow tired of Castiel. He hadn’t told him that, but it had seemed obvious to him.

“Can you be more precise?”

“If you think I’m a bad stepfather, or if you’re unhappy with me, you can leave me. But we still have to marry, and we have to stay together for some times, a year or two.”

One or two years…It seemed long, but on the other hand, if he could tame Dean, life would be okay. The man had already softened, if it continued like that, it would be fine.

“Fine. As long as you treat me and Claire well, there will be no problem.”

He expected Dean to tell him that he had to obey him no matter what, just like during their first date on the rooftop restaurant, but the man just nodded. “Fine with me.”

They were both relieved that this had been said, and Dean hoped it would take off a weight between them. The rest of the morning went well, except that Dean was still concerned about Jo’s idea, it would help indeed but he didn’t want to expose her. Yet he was often distracted by Claire who was taking most of their attention, and at noon, they joined Sam and Jess. They had decided to go to a Thai restaurant Dean wanted to try.

“You know sometimes I wonder how you stay so fit with everything you eat,” Castiel told him while watching the huge plate he ordered. It wasn’t the first time he had noticed how much Dean could eat.

“I do a lot of sports, since we announced the wedding, I didn’t have the time, though.”

“What do you usually do?” Jess asked.

“I work out, and I also do Krav Maga. You used to do that too,” he pointed out to Sam

“I still do, especially the work-out.”

As he was saying this, he realized something weird: Castiel just asked Dean how he could remain in a fit shape and his brother had to explain him he was doing sport. But, how could Castiel not know that already? They had met two years ago, according to what Dean told him, that was something one should know after two years of dating.

“Yep, he does work out and it’s efficient,” Jess commented with a little wink at her husband which made him giggle a bit and distracting him from his previous thoughts.

“What about you?” Sam asked Castiel.

“I learned Box,” Castiel simply replied, not telling how and why. “Maybe Krav maga would be good.”

“It is. I liked Box too, but it’s good to try other things,” Dean commented.

“I wanna box too!” Claire joyfully declared.

Dean laughed at this: “Does she even know what it is?”

“No, but she understood we both did some, so she wants to do the same. Well, why not? We’ll see that when you’ll be older, though,” Cas’ murmured to her, while ruffling her hair.

“I also practiced with Sam, but I must admit I prefer swimming,” Jess declared.

“I love it too, I grew up by the ocean, but on the East Coast.”

They spoke mostly about sports before leaving the restaurant and going to the beach. This time, Jess suggested to go to a small and relatively unknown beach, where they could be in peace.

“There aren’t many people coming there, it’s only accessible through the water of through a passage between rocks,” she explained.

“And it’s beautiful,” Sam added.

Both Dean and Castiel agreed to that, it was true that it wouldn’t be bad to have some times alone. Claire was holding her dad’s hand and at Dean’s surprise, she took his hand as well, walking between the two of them proudly. He couldn’t help but feel a bit of warmth at this. As Sam put his arm around Jess’s shoulder while they were walking, he thought of something.

“By the way, Jess will have another exam tomorrow: we should finally know whether or not the baby is a boy or a girl.”

“Oh, that’s great! You still have no idea for the names?”

“Well, for a boy, we thought about Jonathan, and for a girl, we thought about Malory, my mom’s name was Lorelei, and yours was Mary. It’s somehow a mix of the two.”

“Really? That’s a good idea,” Dean replied genuinely.

“I’m pretty sure it’s gonna be a girl, I have a feeling about it,” Jess explained, “Anyway my parents are impatient to know, my mom can’t hold in place!”

They descended toward the beach and then the rocks, and Sam showed the little passage. It wasn’t hard to take, but it wasn’t that easy to find for people who weren’t familiar with the surroundings. The waves would go through the rocks and dampen their feet and ankles. The beach was small and in a moon-like shape, at the feet of the abrupt cliff. You couldn’t see the city from here, it looked like a shelter facing the ocean.

The place was indeed deserted for now and that was a nice change for once. Anyway if they wanted to be with more people, they could still come back to the closest beach.

“Wow! That’s perfect whenever you want to be left alone,” Cas’ commented.

“Oh, we aren’t the only ones who knows it, sometimes there are people, but it’s still better than overpopulated spots if you want some quietness,” the young woman told him.

“Jess and I love to come here,” Sam murmured, not wanting Claire to hear. “It’s indeed very intimate.”

With a smile, Castiel nodded, he could imagine what he meant.

“I noticed, you always keep a tee-shirt on, isn’t it uncomfortable?” Sam asked him.

“Well, I have a few scars I don’t want to show.”

“Really? What happened?”

“It’s an old story,” Castiel replied.

Understanding this as a sensitive spot, he dropped the subject. Sam and Jess soon went in the water and swam together, Jess sometimes letting her husband catch her in his arms. Dean and Castiel didn’t go far, they had to stay around Claire, but when Jess and Sam came back, they both started playing with her and Dean looked at his future husband who had taken that occasion to swim a bit further. Bliss drawn over his face as he leaned backward in the water, letting his arms slowly roll, his face turned to the sky, he looked like he was making one with the ocean. A sort of vertigo took him by surprise all of sudden, and he couldn’t help but slide toward him.

Waiting a bit, he finally took Castiel by the hand, shaking him away, from his little world. 

“What…”

“Come. We have some times for each other and I like you when you’re in the water.”

Now, this was a strange thing to say, Castiel took his hand away, but accepted to swim with Dean who lead him toward rocks. He felt the need to pin Cas’ gently against those and kiss him, in fact, maybe he could do it. It wouldn’t be their first kiss and they were supposed to act as a couple before people. The water hugged their waist, the waves crashing gently against them. He gently pushed him against the closest rock, careful not to hurt him.

“What are you doing?”

“We hadn’t kissed before Jess and Sam already. It could seem weird, and this is quite the setting.”

Cas’ had a little smile, it was true that the blue sky and ocean, the gentle warmth from the water and…He had to admit Dean was kissable, especially with this malicious little grin. He leaned closer, showing him he agreed to this. Dean’s hand slid on the side of Castiel’s neck, just grazing, and he kissed him softly. Maybe it was the gentleness, the care behind it, but Castiel spontaneously leaned closer and put his hands on the man’s shoulders. For an instant, he almost forgot every conflicts between them.

The parted slowly, and Dean gave him that little malicious smile.

“Don’t seem like kissing me is bothering you much.”

“I won’t deny you’re attractive. You’re still a douche, though.”

Though it wasn’t the worse he hear from Castiel, those words stung after such a moment. They heard Claire scream and they both looked at her, but she was giggling now, she and Jess were only playing ‘Tag, you’re it’. Castiel just smiled at the sight of his little girl having so much fun. Dean took a deep breath, and looked at him again.

“You know, what you say that morning…And two days ago about slapping me.”

“If we can consider it a real slap, I put my hand in your face while we were sleeping.”

“I know, but you said it reflected one of your wants. You’re the second person to whom I ask that, but do you still hate me?”

Castiel thought over his answer. “I guess it’s not as intense as it used to be. Now I know you didn’t force Ellen to sell her bar, and I guess you’re not as horrible as I first pictured you to be. You’re still the one who threatened me, all of that because of some petty incident. And I’m still here because of that.”

Dean was about to reply when Claire and Jessica arrived in their direction, laughing, the little girl still running with the woman behind her. She threw herself at her dad, taking refuge in his arms.

“Ah, can’t catch you anymore!” Jess declared playfully.

Sam appeared, and Dean noticed he looked troubled. What was wrong with him? They stayed on the beach a bit longer, deciding what they could do for the evening.

“There is a barbecue in the house,” Castiel told them. “We could always use it, the night will surely be beautiful.”

“Yeah! I would love that,” Jess approved enthusiastically.

“I can’t refuse a barbecue! Sam?”

“Uh…Yeah, fine with me.”

“You’re okay?” Jess asked before Dean could.

“I’m fine, don’t worry, I was just thinking about some stuff. We should do some grocery, then.”

After getting what they needed, they immediately went to Dean and Cas’s house. The sun was getting closer to the sea, the sky taking orange and pink shades over the darkening water. The simple view of the sunset enchanted Castiel, Claire and Jess alike, but Dean was still concerned about Sam who was barely talking and obviously upset about something. Even while they eat, he wouldn’t talk much, and watched him weirdly a few times.

“Did something happen to Sam?” He asked Jess discretely as they were finishing to eat the last sausages and burgers. Castiel was inside to put Claire to bed already and Dean was looking at the view, deep in his thoughts.

“Maybe he is just nervous about tomorrow. He is always a bit nervous before that,” she replied, but not looking very convinced by that.

“Oh! Yeah, maybe.”

But he still wanted to be sure, he knew his little brother, something was going on through his head, and it had been all of sudden. Well, the best was to ask him directly. Sam returned toward the table.

“Hey, Dean, you help me with the dishes?”

“Sure.”

Jess was about to stand to help them but Sam held her back by the shoulders. “Come on, rest, we can do it.”

“As you wish.”

She was pretty aware this was an excuse to be alone with his brother. She knew Sam and Dean would eventually need to have a private discussion, but there was something weird going on. Whatever, she would talk to him later.

Inside, Sam just leaned against the kitchen counter after they put the dishes in the sink.

“What is it with you? You hardly said anything this evening.”

Looking straight at him, his brother asked: “Dean, is there something you should tell me?”

“What?”

“About your future husband. I heard what you were talking about earlier, I’m not sure I understood everything, but there is something weird going on. I noticed you two don’t seem to know each other that well, and the way you act…I didn’t notice right away but you two have a weird chemistry.”

Oh Lord…Dean had absolutely no idea what to say, and he knew, he perfectly knew Sam wouldn’t let go. Maybe he would play nice and be like ‘Okay, tell me when you’re ready’, but in the end, he would come back to it, with his gentle way of asking which no one could refuse. He could still lie…But it was useless, his brother would know this time. He took a deep breath. Sam was the only person, along with Castiel who could actually take him out of balance. If he had to do this, he might do it now. This time, Sam would truly hate him.

“I have feelings for him, but it’s one-sided.”

He explained everything, and in the end he saw Sam gape and look like he was going to hyperventilate.

“Are you seriously telling me that you…Blackmailed him into marrying you?”

“…Yeah. Listen, it’s…”

“Okay…Okay, I need to breath here! I…” He took a deep breath indeed and rubbed his face. “Dean, you realize how fucked up this is?! It’s something the mafia will usually do, not normal people!”

“I’m not normal…”

“Stop joking! You have to let that guy go! You realize what you did?! And you dragged a kid along, a three year old little girl!”

“I didn’t know about her back then! I didn’t know he had a child.”

Oh Hell, Sam and he already had arguments, bad ones at times, but his little brother never looked at him like that. Maybe he would never look at him the same. He could have given all his money to be able to disappear, to go back through time and stop himself from doing all those stupid mistakes.

“You should have known, you should have tried to know who you were attacking! And seriously, Dean, even if he had been a bit douchy, you overreacted, big time!”

“Okay, but it was…The fact he used you against me.”

Sam huffed: “It hurt you, I got it, but you didn’t need to insult his friends either!”

“I know, it’s just…What truly hurt was that his words sounded so true. As I told you, I thought you had left because of me too. Hearing a stranger say it was…Too much. I was out of my mind.”

Sam sighed. He knew Dean could be ruthless, yes, and somehow this was something he admired about his big brother, but being ruthless wasn’t the same as being unnecessarily cruel, and Dean had been cruel.

“You really think that can be an excuse? You were wrong, point! Would you have done it, for real? Would you have ruined his entire life just over some defiance?!”

“No, I just wanted to scare him. I thought he would leave, not record everything! I had to delete it all, I couldn’t let that thing in other people’s hands.”

“You should have left him in peace once it was deleted! Don’t give me the ‘I had to play tough’ speech, you played way tougher than necessary, you could have left him in peace, he had asked for nothing else! Someone really confident and important wouldn’t have cared that much about it! You thought you were showing power, you just showed weakness! And you went way too far!”

He stopped there and just walked away from his brother who was unable to speak or do anything. He came here to bond again with Sam, but it seemed like his brother would despise him more than ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now Dean will have a lot more to worry about! If you wonder, no, Cas’ isn’t in love (yet?) with Dean, but he is starting to feel attracted to him. Don’t hesitate to review!


	14. Cards

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here is the new chapter, it came out sooner than I expected myself!

Castiel was back in the garden and saw Jessica was alone and relaxing, looking at the landscape. He was about to join her when Sam intercepted him.

“Wait, can I talk to you?”

“Sure. What is it?” He looked completely upside down, worrying Castiel immediately.

“It’s about Dean and you.”

They stayed in the garden but far enough from Jessica so she wouldn’t hear, he didn’t want her to know about it yet. As Sam explained him what he heard and told him about his conversation with Dean, Castiel didn’t know what to say. He was happy to know that someone had given Dean a good dressing down, but on the other hand he didn’t want Sam to worry. He was obviously agitated.

“I would like to have your version too, if you agree,” Sam gently asked.

Complying with no problems, Castiel told him pretty much everything, from how they met to their travel here. In fact it was quite good to tell someone else than Anna, he would always try to lessen things to avoid scaring her. Yet with Sam he had the feeling it would be better to be completely honest. He also told him about Ellen and Jo.

“I don’t know what the hell is wrong with him, I never thought he could have done something like that!” Sam was at least relieved because both their versions were coherent with each other, meaning Dean had been honest at least.

“I must say I could hardly believe it too when it happened. But honestly I’m starting to wonder whether or not your brother would have done it. I’m starting to think it was bluff.”

Indeed, Sam also believed Dean when he said he had over exaggerated his threats, but that was still ludicrous and really messed up.

“That’s still wrong, you shouldn’t have to be forced into anything.”

“If you’re talking about what I think, I can reassure you right away: he didn’t force me to have sex.”

“Thank God! You still have to live with him and marry him, he doesn’t have the right to do that, especially with your daughter in the middle.”

“That what I really didn’t want at first: having my daughter in the middle of this. But he has been kinder to her than I expected, and she loves his house, his dogs and I think she is starting to like him too. Anyway, it won’t be forever, we agreed I just have to stay with him for some times, I can eventually divorce if I want. So don’t worry too much.”

“Really? I noticed the two of you have bruises, Dean told me someone attempted to mug you, is it true?”

“Yes, it really happened like that. He doesn’t beat me, and don’t worry, I could handle him. I don’t know which one of us would win, but your brother wouldn’t have an easy fight.”

The assured tone of those words and the little smile Cas’ had reassured Sam. He didn’t have a frightened and broken man before him, obviously.

“You know of Stockholm Syndrom?”

“Yes, I do know about it, your wife probably knows more than I do, but I know it, and I know the victims tends to take their captor’s side…It’s not my case, I don’t excuse what your brother did. I think I could forgive him one day, but he still has to make up to me. He wronged me, I won’t ever justify what he did.”

“But you don’t seem to hate him.”

Castiel hung his head down and thought over it. It was hard to explain his own feelings, but there was one thing he could explain.

“…Let’s say that your brother did something for me, that I wished people had done a long time ago, and he was the only one. Granted, it didn’t take much effort for him, but he did it nonetheless. Maybe it’s from that moment that I really started to feel less hostile toward him. And also when I learned I was wrong about him and Ellen.”

“I see…Look, if you want to stay in our house for tonight or another night, it’s open to you. And if you need help, don’t hesitate to call, I’ll give you my number.”

Castiel assured him he would be fine, but still took his number, just in case and to reassure him. He stayed in the house after Jess and Sam left in spite of Sam’s invitation, Claire was already sleeping in her room and it wasn’t as if he was in danger. He went to find Dean who was in the room they shared. He was sitting on the bed, his hands covering his mouth, obviously deep in thoughts. Dean made him think of himself after his father had visited him.

He could have used that occasion to crush him, but it would have been low. Dean was already down. His eyes were filled with such a despair Castiel felt the need to comfort him. But it was too soon maybe. 

“Your brother told me about your conversation. If you want to talk, I’m in the living room.”

Dean didn’t reply immediately. “Thanks, but I think I’ll stay alone a bit. I’ll sleep in the spare room tonight.”

“Okay.”

He left, if Dean wanted to be alone, he wouldn’t insist. He tried to read one of his books, but his mind went back again to the conversation he had with Sam. He really liked the younger Winchester, and he hoped he would cope with this. Yesterday he and Sam had talk and he had told him how much Dean had taken care of him when they were kids. If he had learned that Father Lowry or Ellen had done something like blackmailing someone into marriage, he would have been wrecked, Sam was surely upside down.

It was also weird for him, he had the impression to be in the center of a storm now, and he didn’t how he should feel about it. Maybe he needed a good night of sleep? When he went to bed, he found the bedroom empty. At first, he was quite glad to have all the space for him, but after some minutes in the darkness, he started to feel the too heavy silence in the room. Though he hadn’t been really enthusiast when he suggested Dean to share the same room, he had to admit having a presence near him felt good. He let some minutes pass in silence, and felt tempted to go and join Dean, but he decided against it. It was a good thing to leave him alone, to sort things out and show him he was on Sam’s side.

He eventually fell asleep, lulled by the sounds of the sea.

**O o O**

“What did the two of you talk about yesterday?”

That was Dean’s first question that morning. Castiel was preparing breakfast for the three of them, Claire was waiting for it eagerly while playing on the carpet with her toys. He had seen Dean was depressed when he came to join the in the living room. At the tone of his voice, he could hear how worried he was.

“You mean Sam and I?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, he wanted to know if I was okay to begin with, and to tell me he was against it.”

“…What did you say?”

On one hand he could have told him this was a private conversation, on the other hand, he really looked like he was suffering. He crossed his arms on his chest.

“It’s really frustrating and scary, isn’t it? Not to know what’s gonna happen, not to know whether or not you’ll get out of this?”

“Cas…”

“You feel like everything is crumbling, don’t you? Imagine what I felt like when you threatened me, first when you wanted to make me leave my city, and then blackmailed me.”

Dean didn’t answer anything, it was painfully true. He closed his eyes, and Cas’ had to admit he never looked so defeated.

“But if you want to know, I told him I was mad at you, but I was fine and so was Claire, and that you didn’t force me into your bed.”

This was a little twinge of hope for him, to know that at least Castiel wouldn’t lie. Well, it wasn’t really surprising, until now he had shown himself rather honest. Stopping the fire under the eggs before those fried too much, Castiel looked at him again.

“Listen, I’m pretty sure this would have happened one moment or another. Maybe it’s better that he learned now, imagine how it would have been if he had learned later, after months or even years?”

“Never would have been better.”

“It’s hard to hide secrets from family members, hiding it from Claire will be difficult already. Better not add your brother along.” He was speaking in a low voice, but the little girl was clearly not paying attention to them.

“I never thought whether or not Claire would know,” Dean admitted, whispering too.

“I did. I don’t want her to ever learn. There are a few things she will never know, and not just about us,” he looked down, a bit thoughtful and for the first time in hours, Dean almost forgot his own feelings. “But parents always keep some secrets from children, and that’s maybe better sometimes and easier. You know it would have put something between you and your brother.”

Everything he said made sense, somehow he knew Castiel was right, secrets would have just thrown a shadow over them. Sam and his dad were the only people he never had any secret from.

“Maybe…I’ll have work to attend to. Do whatever you want with Claire, don’t bother about me.”

“As you wish.”

The day went slowly, Dean mostly stayed home to work, and probably to sort out his thoughts, while Cas’ went on the beach with Claire. He wished he had found the one they went on yesterday, but he didn’t remember the way. Though he enjoyed having some times alone with his daughter, he was still a bit worried over everything. Why? He shouldn’t have, after all the most important to him was his daughter. But let’s be honest, Sam and Jess were good people, and the concern Sam had showed had really touched him. And Dean…He should have been just satisfied and yet he couldn’t help but feel compassion.

Well, he would think of that later. For now, he was just with Claire, and he wanted to enjoy it. He would still go home at noon for lunch instead of eating outside, he didn’t want to leave Dean too much alone.

**O o O**

In the house, Dean was focusing as much as he could on work, he had a lot to do and that was for the best. His mind went back again and again to Sam, and it felt horribly painful, even though he was alone he had the impression to have hundreds of eyes watching him and glaring in despise. He almost wished Castiel and Claire to be back. They hadn’t spoken again of Sam at noon, they had mostly focused on Claire, Cas’ had just asked whether or not he was feeling fine. Dean had kept a strong front as usual. But he wasn’t fine, not at all. He wanted to continue to drown in work and to throw everything away at the same time.

A tap at the door startled him. What was that? Was it Castiel, did h forgot the keys? Was it Sam? That idea scared him as much as it appealed him. He opened the door in anticipation and he was even more surprised. Instead of Castiel or Sam was Jessica, standing here and alone. Jessica? What was she doing here?

“Hey…”

“Hi. Can I come in?”

“Of course.”

He stepped back to let her in and closed the door behind her. She went to take place on the couch.

“You…You want something to drink?”

“Some water, please. We finally know, it will be Malory, it seems.”

Dean smiled: “It’s great! Is she fine? I mean, nothing…”

“Nothing wrong for now, she is perfectly fine,” she assured with a smile while stroking her belly and as Dean gave her a drink of water.

She looked just happy, and not angry at all, and for a moment thought she knew nothing at all, until she looked up at him after taking a gulp from her glass. Her expression was much more serious suddenly.

“Sam is happy too, of course. But he also told me about your conversation.”

He felt cold again, only his cheeks warmed up. He had felt ashamed before his brother, but there was another kind of sham before her, before someone he didn’t know as well, someone who would see him only that way.

“I see…”

“Look, he told me Castiel was apparently not afraid or in danger, and I believe it. I observed the two of you, and I don’t think your future husband lied only to reassure Sam. However, I’d like to talk to both of you. Or rather I would like you to talk to me.”

Dean frowned. “What do you mean?”

“You know too well you did something wrong, and you know you need to talk to someone who can help you sort things out.”

“I…Jessica, I know what I did is wrong, but I’m not crazy.”

“No you’re not, but you don’t have to be crazy to follow a therapy. Anyone who feels the need to talk or lost can need one. And you need it,” she declared gently but firmly.

Dean sighed, he knew he was right, but the idea to expose himself, and to Sam’s wife! But on the other hand, she was part of the family, and he could trust her to keep everything he would tell her a secret. A stranger could be tempted to use what he could say to their profit, in spite of medical secrecy. With her, he would be safer.

“Is that really gonna help?”

“There is only one way to know. Sam wanted to come, but I thought it could be better to just talk between us, he is too upset for now. He wants to forgive you, and I think it would be easier if you showed some good will.”

“By having you as my shrink?”

She nodded: “And it’s not just about us adults, I don’t know how long you and Castiel will live together, but there is a child in the middle, and even though she is very young she’ll feel the tensions which will grow.”

Dean thought of it. Maybe…Maybe it would be good indeed, and it was true that the little girl would need both Cas’ and him to sort things out.

“You’ll talk to Castiel too?”

“If he wants to, yes.”

She still had a gentle tone. “You don’t look angry or shocked.”

“I won’t lie, I was when I learned. But you know, I see and hear much worse at my work. I don’t say what you did is right, but I can deal.”

“Well…Okay, then. You…What do you want, I mean…”

“I won’t ask you for money, nor Cas’.”

“No, I meant what do you want us to talk about? But, if you wanted money, it would be legit.”

She shook her head, politely refusing. “Well, we don’t have to talk right now, if you want some times to think, we can see each other this evening or tomorrow.”

He thought over it, he hadn’t been expecting that and he didn’t what they were going to discuss, but the idea of being alone again was almost repulsive right now. He needed to talk to someone and Jess was ready to listen. Still, he felt awkward.

“I’d like to start now.”

“Okay, then. We can talk about different subjects, start with things which aren’t too difficult.” She saw he was a bit uneasy, not knowing hat to start with. Well, that was normal, they just decided right now, he had no time to think of what he would say. “Maybe we could do an exercise to start with.”

She took her deck of tarot cards from her bag, and he was quite surprised at this. He remembered she had talk about it once, but what was that for? She started to mix her cards.

“As I explained, I don’t pretend to predict the future thanks to that, I don’t believe in mediums and all. But the interpretation we have of the cards can reveal a lot about ourselves. We’ll only go with the major Arcanas. Pick up five among those and then we’ll look at what you got.”

He did as she asked, and picked up five cards. She asked him to align and turn those so they could see.

The Lover. The Empress. The Chariot. The Fool. The Judgment.

“Hum…Okay, I’m lost.”

“I’ll tell you the general meaning of those, but those changed with times and the interpretations vary a lot, so don’t think this is an exact science. It can apply to the past, present, and future.”

“The Lover can indicate you’re facing a tough choice between two options, the man on the card her is between two different women. It can also symbolize romantic situations and dilemmas.”

“The Empress can be seen as a symbol of feminine power and energy, whether it’s a motherly one or the one of a seductress, or a woman in an upper position. It can be seen as a card symbolizing self-confidence and seduction, or it’s lack of.”

“The Chariot, mostly symbolizes changes and freedom, the danger those can represent or the need for it. It can also point out how you got the reins of your life, or how you don’t.”

“The Fool is mostly about an inner journey, it can also indicates changes. It’s either about a journey toward wisdom, growth, but it can also means being lost. It can be seen as a card indicating to open to new things and confront yourself to the unknown.”

“And the Judgment. It can be your own judgment, the one of people around you or society in general. It can advise you to advance on your path in spite of other’s opinions, or on contrary to change your visions of some things.”

She stopped here and looked at him. “All those cards have a positive and a negative side, none are better or lesser. With what I told you, try to make your own explanation. There are many ways in which those cards could relate to you, but you’re gonna give me your own interpretation, there are no bad answers, it doesn’t even have to fit completely with what I said.”

He looked at those, thought over it and rubbed his face. He really wasn’t sure at first, but as Jess said, there was no bad interpretation.

“Even if I’m not officially a patient, you’re not talking about it, right?”

“I’ll treat you like another patient, what we say together will stay between us. I won’t even tell Sam.”

“Well, the judgment, I guess that was my lack of judgment when I did that to Castiel…And now the judgment other people will have of me, Sam especially. I did something wrong, and I exposed myself to that...” Taking a deep breath, he went on. “The chariot is how I need changes in my life, and the fool is me, how I…” He wasn’t even looking at Jessica anymore, just at the cards. “Sometimes even though I have my career on the right rails, I do feel lost. Like, I don’t know what else I live for. It’s like I was…Searching for something and I don’t even know what. The Empress, well, I don’t really know, maybe my mother and the fact I miss her, or if you say it has a bad side, maybe it could be Veronica Vanni, the one who kinda wrecked me and our family at a point.”

He stopped there, and Jess gently encouraged him: “Do you want to talk about her? I know your dad took both you and Sam to a shrink after what happened.”

“Maybe another time. That was more effective with him than me. Now with the last card, I guess the Lovers, that’s me and Castiel, that’s also my difficulties to have long-term relationship, that’s, uh…That’s also what I want with him.”

He looked over the card again, he had the impression he was reaching something but couldn’t put words on it. He saw Jessica was taking notes on a little notebook. He grinned slightly.

“You knew I would say ‘yes’.”

“I can be very persuasive. Anyway, that’s good, you got it pretty well, some people really have difficulties with this.”

“But there is probably not many ways to interpret that. I mean, it cannot have that many significations.”

Jessica shook her head, and took the cards to place those near her.

“Don’t think so. If I had gotten those cards, I would have told a completely different story, most of it having to do with my pregnancy. The chariot for the changes I’m going through and will continue to go through as I am entering motherhood, and though it will make me grow and I’m happy, it’s also quite scary because I’m going toward something unknown, that’s what the Fool is for. Then we go to the Empress, reminding me that I have to keep confidence when I’ll be a mom, but not to forget my power of seduction, my romantic needs, and here we goes to the lovers. Reminds that I and Sam are still lovers indeed, so we mustn’t neglect our couple in spite of our future responsibilities. It also reminds me that we will have tough choices to make and we must make those together. So here we go to the judgment, Sam and I will have to be careful of our decisions without being too influenced by other people’s opinions about parenthood.”

He nodded thoughtfully, she was very at ease with it. “I see. Very different indeed.”

“Yes, and still I could have seen things differently, in a more negative light for example. But let’s come back to you. You said the lover symbolizes what you want with Castiel, I would like to know what you feel for him. To start with, how did you really meet him?”

“Well, I didn’t really lie, we did met in a club and he did fell against my car because he was drunk. It wasn’t two years ago, though.”

He explained her what happened, and went to the moment he had the idea to ‘propose’ Castiel.

“Considering your interpretation of the Lovers, I guess you didn’t do that just out of strategy, there was something else.”

“Yeah…I told you I really was attracted to him, he was my type, when I saw him I wanted to make a move.”

“Is that all?”

He bit his lip, he knew the answer already. “Maybe it was the fact he had the guts to stand up to me. I’m powerful, and so people won’t really stand up to me, will avoid telling me what they really think. And you have the impression that if you open up to them, they’ll take advantage of it. When I had Sam and my father, it was different, we would tell each other what we thought, but once they were both gone, it was like…Like I was left all on my own and I could never…I could never really take off that mask with anyone. I do my best on the job I know I’m good at it, but that’s all.”

“Some people can’t even boast about being good at their job, you know. So, with Castiel, you had the impression you could have some honesty.”

“Yes. When he had that conversation recorded, he could have asked for money, or anything else. He didn’t. He just wanted me to leave him alone. For once, there was someone who wouldn’t care that much about my money or my power. But more of all, he spoke his mind, he wouldn’t hesitate to tell me I was a douche, and as much as I hated him for telling me Sam was right to avoid me…I kinda craved that confrontation.”

“It’s only my opinion, but don’t you think you were seeking an anchor? A moral compass? Having someone to call you out might have given you the sensation that someone was helping you to keep a grip.”

“Yeah…Maybe. God, I feel frigging weak.”

“No, you’re not, you’re human, being unfeeling would be a really bad sign.”

“What’s your diagnosis?”

“I’ll wait for us to talk a bit more before giving one, I already have my idea, but we’re not in a hurry. Therapy takes time.”

“But now that I think about it, I’m gonna go back to New York, and you’ll stay here. How are we gonna manage?”

“Well, maybe we could use Skype?”

“No, trust me, I have a history with hacking, I’d rather not take any risks.”

She bit her lip and shrugged. “Then maybe you could come here more often. It’s not idealistic with therapy, but it would help a lot, and that way you would see us and little Malory often when she’ll be born. And maybe Jonathan if we have one, I wish so.”

He looked at her belly with a smile. It was true he wished to know his niece, and if Sam could forgive him, he wanted to see him as well. It was pretty incredible: who thought the girl he was so wary of at a time would be the one to help him save himself from his own mistake?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you’re wondering how I choose a card, it’s simple, I just took five from my deck without looking, so the choice is total hazard, but I think I got a good pick! I don’t believe in mediums and all, but I do use the technique I describe to help myself sort my thoughts and feelings sometimes since a friend once offered me a deck of tarot cards.


	15. Slow Burn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! So, I really got time to write and I'm really happy at that chapter!

Being a parent wasn’t easy, Castiel knew it from the beginning. Today was one of the days he was reminded of it. Claire started asking why Dean wasn’t around, she wanted him to come with them, and she couldn’t understand why Jess and Sam weren’t here either. Castiel tried to explain her that they were busy today, she cried at a point, she couldn’t understand why. Claire would rarely pull a tantrum, but when she did, it wasn’t half-way.

He managed to calm her down, eventually, and now she was just playing on the beach with other kids. Castiel was just watching her, thinking of everything that happened, when someone came to him. He was surprised to see Jessica.

“Hey, how are you?”

“Fine,” she replied. “Dean told me you would be here, he drove me so I wouldn’t have to walk.”

She told him the exam went well and they were going to have a little girl and asked him if they could talk somewhere else. Taking Claire with them, they went to walk somewhere less exposed to indiscreet ears. Claire was just beaming to see Jessica again, and Castiel listened attentively to everything she told him. They were still careful not to let the kid hear too much. He was pretty surprised Dean had accepted to have her as his ‘shrink’, but it was definitely a good thing.

“I want to tell you that you can also talk to me, maybe it would be good for you. This is a stressful situation.”

“It was. It’s not so much anymore.”

He reassured her just like he had soothed Sam. She eventually told him he just had to tell her if he felt like talking. Honestly, talking to a psychiatrist wouldn’t be a bad idea, but part of him was reluctant to do it. He had a lot in his past, and he rarely opened up about it. He did with Dean when his father barged in, but the situation had led him to do so.

Dinner was rather quiet that evening, Dean and Cas’ had things to talk about but not before Claire. It was only once her father put her to bed that he knew he would be able to have a real conversation with Dean. He went back to the kitchen, he needed to drink some water. He poured some in a glass and heard footsteps behind him.

“Hey…”

Castiel looked up and saw Dean putting a bottle of whisky before him.

“Better than water.”

With a little amused huff, Cas’ took out two glasses.

“You spoke with Jess too?” Dean asked.

“Briefly. She is kind, really. You did too?”

“Well, I’m not officially a patient, but I’m definitely gonna follow a therapy with her.”

This made Cas’ smile. It was funny, they spoke about it yesterday, but he never thought it would happen and that soon. Dean opened the bottle, why bother with glasses? He took a gulp and handed it to Castiel who took it and drank as well.

“I…Now that I think about it, I have been an ass the other day. I’m sorry.”

“You have been an ass more than once, so what are you apologizing for exactly?”

“Well…I guess I wasn’t much help, you know, after your father came. When you saw I was down because of what happened with Sam, you were much more helpful.”

Castiel was surprised but smiled bitterly and shrugged: “Well…I know you wanted to comfort me at first, I wasn’t exactly…Receptive.”

“Still, I should have understood you were totally out of your mind, you had every reasons to be. I was just…So weirded out after you kissed me. For a moment, I thought it was genuine, and when I realized you were just doing that to make your father mad, I was…”

“You felt used.”

“Yeah.”

Taking a gulp from the bottle, Castiel looked straight at him, some drops adorning his lips.

“Welcome into my world.”

Dean felt a lump in his throat and he hoped the lack of light hid the blush of shame. It was indeed true, and he could only take a gulp of alcohol in response.

“I should have done better.”

Cas’ took another gulp of alcohol and wondered if it wasn’t starting to get to him. He had never held alcohol so well, which was funny considering he had worked in a bar. Maybe it was what made him speak out.

“Well…I…I must admit it wasn’t only to piss off my father, I kinda wanted to thank you. For what you did.”

Dean frowned and Castiel gave him the bottle back, and strangely enough seeing Dean slowly drinking the amber liquid made him feel vertigo, or was the alcohol? Anyway, it pushed him to continue. He leaned his back against the counter, and couldn’t take his eyes away from Dean even when he took the bottle back.

“I was…I don’t know, but no one ever did what you did, standing up to him for me I mean…Though I don’t know if you did it for me or because he insulted you.”

“What do you think? I don’t like homophobes, I already told you that, and I didn’t like the way he spoke to you. I don’t like people who beat up children too, and I clearly understood he was that kind of person. I also didn’t like him threatening to take your daughter.”

Castiel was silent and he took another gulp before Dean took the bottle for himself. The way Dean was saying that, he didn’t just sound protective but he sounded strong, more than ever.

“What did he do to you? I mean, except for the belt.”

He wasn’t he first person to ask Castiel that, but maybe Dean would be the first person to have real answer.

“Let’s just say my childhood wasn’t a piece of cake…I was born in a small town by the ocean, I told you that. And if think I love the sea because my best moments were the times I spent in the ocean with my mother. My father didn’t like it much, he would never go there, he said it was a place of temptation because people were half-naked. My mother would take me in secret, whenever he wasn’t around. Once he discovered she would do that, he had beaten her and he had me pray for at least an hour. Still, she would continue to take me. It was a moment of liberty for us. I would play with my friends too, I think it helped me to bond with other kids more than school did. She tried to protect me, but one day, she just…I don’t know what made her snap, but she killed herself when I was ten.”

He stopped here for a short moment, the memory was painful.

“I was alone with my father then, the two years following were awful. My life was better when I got twelve. We moved to New York and two people you see, two people helped me a lot. First there was Reverend Lowry, the priest who listened to me and helped keep hope and faith.”

Castiel seemed to hesitate and then continued : “You asked me once if I ever had hallucinations during my sleep paralysis. Were you explained what causes those?”

At loss of words first, Dean tried to remember what he read: “It’s due to the brain panicking because it got no explanation why the body is paralyzed, or that our brain is still between dream and reality.”

“Yeah, that’s the two explanations. I had neither when I was a kid, though, I was just ten. All I knew was that during some mornings, I would wake up and see a shadow-man standing in my room, and he would approach me, then sit on the bed to grab my throat. It happened several times after my mom died. Eventually I told my dad about it, because he noticed I was tired and anxious.”

It was a short summary but he could only imagine how scary this was to a kid. “What happened then? Your father took you to shrink?”

Castiel laughed at that, and Dean could see his body shaking slightly with the laughter in the dark. This was no joyful laugh, though.

“Don’t you remember my father? Does it seem like he would take his child to a shrink? He told me demons were tormenting me. He told me my mother’s suicide opened the way to the house for them.”

“Seriously?!”

“Suicide is a deadly sin, after all, isn’t it? So he told me to pray, and if I was to complain, well, he would hit me or he would give me the belt, depending on his mood.”

Hell, if he hadn’t seen Jonathan Novak he might have thought Castiel was inventing this, but he had seen the man, and the scars.

“Thank God we moved to New York, and I met Reverend Lowry. One day, I told him about it, how praying couldn’t help me about this. It’s him who told me what was really happening to me, and who explained me I had to keep calm during those, that I had to remember it was only my mind, and it worked.”

He had another joyless, near broken laugh at this: “You don’t even imagine how I felt like, discovering that for years my father had made me feel trapped, desperate, guilty because he said my faith wasn’t strong enough. And then after a conversation with a normal, reasonable person, I finally discovered what was really happening. My world completely changed after that.

He took a big breath. Dean really wanted to hug him, but he had the feeling he shouldn’t do it, that he should let him talk and empty his bag.

“And there was Ellen. As I told you, she had a bar, but she would also organize illegal fighting for bets. I remember I saw her fight off some big guy in the streets, like it was nothing. I asked her to teach me to do the same, and she accepted only if I would help at the bar. Every day after school I pretended to go at the library and I would actually train with Ellen instead. Then, I would go back home, and at night I would sneak away to work for her.”

Castiel smiled in nostalgia. “She, and some of her friends who took liking on me, taught me to fight. Do you imagine that at twelve, I started to sneak away from my religious father to work at an infamous bar to repay her and see clandestine fights?”

He laughed and Dean watched him in awe.

“At fifteen I started to get in the ring as well. I was still helping at the bar, for my ‘lessons fees’, but Ellen wouldn’t make me work that much actually. She was a really good woman. I escaped my father’s control thanks to her and Reverend Lowry, really.”

“But you said no one ever stood up to your father?”

“No. Ellen would have wanted to, but it would have just made my father madder at me, so either I would be beaten worse, or they would have had to call child services, and for kids like me, they wouldn’t have done much good.”

“You got one hell of a story, I honestly wonder how you held on,” he could hardly find anything else to say. “What became of him?”

“He is still working in the same church, I visit him from time to time and he is Claire’s godfather,” Castiel simply answered. “He helped me to keep level-headed when…I was scared about letting Claire around you. As for Ellen, well, you saw her.”

“I see…It’s crazy to think you worked for her and that now her daughter is working for me.”

“Yep, pretty much!”

“And your father, he never suspected anything?” Asked Dean

“He did. But I wouldn’t hesitate to defy him anymore. He beat me even more, gave me the belt harder, he even called for some friends once to ‘help him’ when I defended myself. But I wouldn’t take it nicely anymore.”

Dean remembered what Castiel told him the night he forced him to accept his proposal: _you wouldn’t be the first one to try to break me_. Apparently he had been talking about that, and it honestly made him want to beat down the old fucker for all of this. He didn’t say a word though and let him continue.

“At a point, I even stopped living with him, Ellen allowed me to sleep at her place, and she would also feed me. I saved some money for my future studies, I knew I wanted to become more than some thug. The reverend pushed me in that way. But when Ellen had to sell her place and leave, I had nowhere to go. I didn’t want to stay with the Reverend, if he had kept a minor with him, he would have been accused of horrible things. And anyway, my father would have searched for me there.”

“So, that’s also why you hated me? You thought it was my fault if you had found yourself in the streets?”

The question was asked gently, without any kind of grudge and Cas’ nodded. Now he could imagine what Castiel had felt like, being poor and alone, having to escape from a violent father and seeing the only person who gave him a roof leave suddenly…He had probably seen Dean as a rich brat who didn’t hesitate to crush people and he didn’t prove him wrong when they met…

“How did you manage?”

“Thank God, I wasn’t single, my boyfriend was slightly older, he had a flat. I lived for some times with him, it didn’t last long, but I still owe him a lot.”

He stopped there. God, talk about a rough childhood! “You probably felt freer than ever when you stopped seeing him.”

Castiel nodded and grinned sadly: “You know, you might be the first person to hear that much. I usually wouldn’t talk about my past, or just say the less possible. Why the hell am I telling you so much?”

He rubbed his face and it struck Dean again to see how tormented Castiel looked at that moment. This time, he hugged him tight. Not knowing what to do, Cas’ just stayed still, not knowing if he wanted to push Dean away or if he wanted to lean against him. But then, he remembered the first time Dean had tried to comfort him. This time, he could try to accept it. He just put his hands on Dean’s upper back.

“Well, I’m not an expert, but I’d say you kept everything inside for too long, that you need to vent and I’m around.”

Castiel leaned against him a bit more at those words. It felt good to have someone holding him, listening to what he had to say. For most of his life he had felt in danger, and then he had to handle the responsibility of raising his daughter alone. Right now he felt safe, and that seldom happened. Yet he wasn’t so used of showing weaknesses, and soon he felt too exposed. Gently, he pulled himself out of Dean’s hold. He had told him a lot but Dean hardly revealed him anything.

“Your childhood was probably not that easy, though. Sam once told me you had raised him as much as your dad did.”

Dean nodded and drank once more. “It was the case, especially after my mother’s death. She worked along with our dad, but they would still managed to spend time with us. It changed when…Well, when my mother died. After that, my father had difficulty to cope, he would still take care of everything, but he was stricter and sadder and often drowned himself in work. He still made us what we are, he wanted what was best for us, I know he worked hard so we would have a good future. He also made us work hard so we could take over the company, he believed in us.”

He stopped and drank, a sad little smile on his lips: “But as I said, he spent a lot of time doing his job, and he didn’t have much time to spend with us. It’s true he put a lot of pressure on us and wasn’t much around. I don’t blame him, though, he was only a man after all and it wasn’t easy after my mom’s death, I was eight and Sam four. Nobody’s perfect.”

He had a sad little smile: “We both lost our moms as kids…I guess you understand why I was like that with the garden.”

A nod was his only answer. He drank again before giving the bottle to Castiel who took another gulp as well.

“And what is it, that thing which made Jessica forgive you? In your past?”

Hell…Well, just like Sam learning about Dean’s blackmail, he guessed Castiel would have to learn that one day. But he had already opened up enough for today. However Castiel’s awaiting expression pushed him to give him at least a bit of explanation.

“Let’s say that a woman came in our lives after my mom’s death, acted nice, as if she loved us, but it was just manipulation.”

“Who was she?”

He wasn’t ready to talk about it. He didn’t know why, but it had stayed hidden in him for so long…

“Veronica Vanni was her name. I’ll tell you when I’ll have less alcohol in my blood. And honestly it’s a long story.”

They remained silent, even though he was curious, Castiel didn’t insist.

“You were right, you know. As much as everything Sammy said hurt, it’s also good he learned about it. It’s weird because it fucking hurt to hear him blame me, but it has that effect, like…Like someone got me, won’t let me derail my own life.”

“He understands you, it’s as simple as that. It might be cathartic somehow too.”

“Yeah…”

They both drank again, and Dean was starting to feel the need to embrace him again, they were both leaning against the counter, not touching but looking at each other.

“Your father and he accepted it when you told them you liked guys as much as girls?”

“Yeah. Sam just said he was okay with this, and my dad told me to never let anyone shame me for that. Someone once told him that I could go to conversion therapy, and he gave them a good piece of his mind. We’re Winchesters, no one disrespect us.”

With a snort, Castiel took another gulp. “So that’s what it really was about? You really punished me because I defied you. But, there is one thing I don’t get…”

“What?”

He took another gulp and looked at Dean with those tormented eyes again, striking him right in the chest. “Why marriage? Why all this, really? You could have just…Had me fired, don’t tell me you marry every single person who offended you. Even those rumors, you could have shut those off with someone more willing.”

This made Dean laugh, and he took the bottle. For a slight instant, he thought Dean had been playing him all along and slapped himself mentally for opening up to him. But his husband gave him a desperate look. Dean got closer, reached out for Castiel’s shoulder, let his fingers graze up to the nape of his neck and stayed there.

“You still didn’t get it, you moron? I wanted you the moment I saw you! And it didn’t lessen after. Do you remember the club?”

“Of course. I bumped into your car…”

“No, it’s not exactly when it started. I noticed you inside. I saw you, I was looking at you from the bar. I wanted to go and talk to you, but you…You slipped away, and then a business partner interrupted me. Long story short I searched for you once I was done, everywhere, and when I got out, I saw you. I was angry at you, but I put on the alcohol. I thought you were just drunk, but then…Then I understood you really hated my guts, while I wanted nothing but to get to you…I wanted you.”

He drank once more before giving it to Castiel, his other hand still on the nape of his neck, grazing softly. “I was sincere when I told you I preferred sincere hatred over fake love. Usually, even people who hates me hardly dares to stand up to me. Believe it or not but I admired you when you tried to trap me with the record, and as I told Jess, it felt so good to have someone who would just…Speak his mind. Just like Sam does.”

He sighed deeply and Castiel didn’t know what to think of that.

“Why did you notice me? Out of all people in that club?”

Dean didn’t answer right away, they stared at each other silently until Dean broke the silence.

“Well…The way you were dressed first, everyone noticed, we had never seen a guy looking so…Not-rich in that club.” This made Cas grin a bit. “There is also your look, you got a freaking handsome face. But what really made it is…the way you danced.”

“The way I danced?”

“Yeah. I’m used to people living for appearances, reputation and shit like that, they’re hardly ever themselves. When they go to a club, they mostly try to show off, not to relax. Sam used to say that people around us were like actors and actresses: it’s all about the looks, and in the end everything supposed to make you feel good become meaningless. He was damn right. But you…You were here with the poorest clothes of the club, and you didn’t care, you were only trying to have a good time.” His voice grew softer. “You were just enjoying yourself freely; you didn’t give a shit knowing who was watching you, or what they could think of you. You were so out of this, you looked like…”

He smiled at that memory. “You looked like you were going to fly.”

Castiel found himself agape at such words. Dean snorted: “And you wonder why the hell I wanted you. You have no idea how a man like you can make people feel.”

The tip of his fingers trailed from Castiel’s neck to his chest slowly, and Dean took off his hand before walking away. Listening to the sounds of his footsteps getting farer, Castiel remained completely still, almost unable to process everything Dean just said. He sighed and went out. He sat in the garden and looked at the sea and the stars. His brain was a mess right now, so much in one moment…It was just like that time when his father had came to the house…He remembered how he had led on the bed, unable to understand himself at the moment. It was strange, his mind was clearer about some things, some questions had been answered, but now others were growing through his mind, about the future, about everything.

He breathed in deeply. At least the view was soothing.

Dean was about to fell asleep, the alcohol helping, when he heard his door opening. He just distinguished Castiel in the dark.

“What are you doing? I left you the room…”

“I don’t like sleeping alone that much. I have someone available.”

He got into the bed with him and Dean rolled on the other side to face him. “It’s better in case you have another paralysis?”

“Yeah, exactly.”

Dean leaned closer. He didn’t like sleeping alone either, though he still couldn’t touch, Cas’s presence in his bed had never been that welcome.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I initially intended to talk about Veronica Vanni, but I decided this chapter would be more dedicated to Cas's past, Dean will have his own. Don't hesitate to comment, it's always nice to read what you think.


	16. Black Widow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More revelations in this chapter and some cute moments too!

This morning was a beautiful one, even through the sills, Castiel could tell. The rays of sun piercing were good signs. Stirring, he wasn’t surprised to feel Dean’s arms around him after what happened yesterday. Unlike the first time he didn’t push him away harshly like he did the first time, he just gently got away from his arms to go and take care of his daughter. He let him sleep instead. He felt kind of strange this morning, he prepared his daughter’s breakfast as usual, but he felt like something had changed. Well, they had a meaningful conversation yesterday, maybe it was simply that.

He heard Dean phoning in his room, and he decided to prepare some eggs for the two of them.

“Slept well?” Asked he, seeing Dean looked a bit tired.

“Better. What about you? And you, kiddo?” Dean asked while he started laying down the table.

“Yeah!”

He smiled to her as he put the last plate and sat down. Cas’ served the eggs and sat down with them.

“You know, there is something we didn’t do yet. I thought it was time to fix that,” Dean declared.

“What is it?”

“It’s a surprise.”

“What’s the surprise?!” Claire asked with excitement

“I won’t tell, kiddo, you’ll see.”

Castiel frowned, wondering what it was all about. Obviously, Dean was in a better mood, though his eyes showed sadness. After they finished breakfast, Dean took them to the harbor and Cas’ wondered what it was about. Claire was walking at his side, he insisted to hold her hand; he didn’t want her to rush to the water and fall. There were a lot of boats, private boats, some were really big, and Castiel sometimes wondered what you could do with those giant things.

“Can we go there?” Claire asked while pointing at one big boat.

“No sweetie, it’s not ours.”

“Dad!”

“No, I said.”

He stopped as he saw Dean went to talk to a man standing next a boat. They spoke a bit and the man gave Dean keys.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, I hope you’ll have fun!” He said with a nice smile to the three of them.

As the man left, Castiel looked at him with confusion. “That guy put his boat on rent on internet, I decided it could be fun to have it for the morning. How about it, kid? You want to sail on that boat?”

Claire literally jumped in joy when Dean told her those words, Castiel had to hold her so she wouldn’t rush toward it, he didn’t want her to fall in the water accidentally. She was totally dazzled by that, and her dad was pretty amazed too. As they stepped on the boat, he finally sat her down and looked at Dean in amazement.

“Really? You rent this?”

“No, we’re actually stealing it, that’s why the owner nicely gave me the keys.”

Castiel shook his head but smiled nonetheless. “My first plane and now the first time on a boat.”

“Really?”

He nodded. There was definitely a lot he still had to discover along with his daughter. He had to admit it felt pretty incredible to sail, to feel the wind and to be in the middle of those deep, mysterious waters, under that infinite and intense sky. And that marine wind over him felt like life itself! Claire was also ecstatic, she was looking at the water as if she expected to find a treasure. Dean slowed down the boat as they got far enough from the land. Castiel got closer to him.

“Thank you. She is really having fun, and so am I.”

“You’re welcome. I also love this, it brings a lot of memories back.”

“We’re leaving tomorrow, aren’t we?”

“Yeah. You wanted to stay longer?”

“Every trip has to come to an end. But I would definitely not mind coming back on a regular basis.”

“Neither would I.”

The blue was incredibly relaxing, it felt incredible to be isolated like this on the ocean, with no one to pry, no one to hear. It was like being in their own little world, their own little bubble. As he was gazing at the infinite blue, Cas’ saw something moving. At the way he straightened his stance Dean saw it too. He made the boat take a turn toward whatever moved, and Castiel saw something emerging from the water.

“Wait…If I’m right.”

They approached and Cas let out a huff as he realized what it was. He took Claire in his arms.

“Dolphins?”

“Yep, it’s exactly that!”

Claire was speechless, her eyes glued to the forms they saw. There were maybe three of them, they were emerging from the water and they started swimming around the boat. Claire shrieked in excitement and tried to reach out for one, Cas’ had to held her. He leaned down to try to touch them and as one approached, his fingers barely grazed one. It sent a jolt of electricity and he let out a joyful laugh. He couldn’t believe it! He just touched a dolphin! Dean also managed to graze one of them, it wasn’t the first time, but he was still amazed.

They didn’t manage to reach to them again but they could watch them as they played around the boat for some times. Castiel had never seen dolphins in real life; he didn’t imagine they were so big! They had some kind of subtle grace in the way they moved so easily and so quickly. He kissed the top of Claire’s head.

“You’re happy?”

“Yeah! Can I swim?”

“No! It’s too deep! And we would scare them.”

She started to pout until she saw one jumping out of the water and shrieked again in joy. They eventually went underwater again, and they started to return toward the harbor. Castiel still couldn’t believe what happened. His little girl was still in his arms, watching out for any other dolphin.

“You say ‘thanks’ to Dean? It’s because of him we could do that.”

“Thank you, Dean!”

The man smiled at this, it was heartwarming to hear that genuine gratefulness, her eyes were shining. Her Dad’s ones too, he noticed.

“Thank you, it was really wonderful,” Castiel added as well.

“You’re welcome.”

**O o O**

They got something to eat quite quickly and didn’t wait for too long to go back home. Claire started dozing when they reached the house, her dad took her in his arms and her little head rested on his shoulder, and Dean smiled at how one of her arms was dangling. Cas’ put her in the bed, she didn’t even ask for her plush toys as she would usually do, but he still put those at her side. 

“Sleep well,” he whispered even though she wouldn’t hear.

He got out of her room and found Dean in the garden. For once he wasn’t working, he was just looking at the sea. It was a nice afternoon, a few clouds roamed in the sky, it was too far from the sun to cover it, it would just throw some shadow over the ocean, drawing darker shades of blue. He went at Dean’s side and leaned against the wooden rail.

“Claire is sleeping. She is worn out, happy but worn out.”

“No wonder…”

A short silence passed between them, they just stared at the landscape, Castiel couldn’t help but feel a bit of disappointment knowing they would leave, it was incredible to think they had seen dolphins!

“I’m usually not the kind to talk and talk about feelings and stuff, you know. That’s the kind of things you do in chick flicks, I usually hate it, but I guess we’re not entirely done.”

“Go ahead.”

Dean took a deep breath, he was obviously nervous: “I apologized to you yesterday, about your father, but well…It’s not all I should apologize for.”

Cas’ gave no answer, some time ago, that would have astonished him, but after what happened... Dean sighed and bit his lip: “Okay. I know that forcing you to accept a proposal was wrong.” Castiel nodded in response. “I sincerely regret. I didn’t need to take things that far, I guess I was really going on a wrong path, even before meeting you.”

It was good to finally hear this. “Thanks. But what do you mean by agreeing on some things?”

“Well I thought that if we do agree on some things, this situation could be good for you and your daughter in the end. As part of the Winchester family, she will have everything she needs. You’ll be able to send her to the best schools, even if you divorce me I engage myself to pay for her studies.”

This was enough to make Castiel gape. “Are you serious about that?”

“Yes. I am. It doesn’t matter how much we fight, I promise your daughter will never go through the consequences.”

Crossing his arms, Cas’ titled his head. “So, you don’t want this to be a revenge or anything as such. You’re offering me a deal instead.”

“Yes.”

“…Okay, then.”

Dean nodded. It was good then. It was better to know Castiel was into this, and to know he wasn’t just a problem to deal with but someone who would play a significant role in his and his daughter’s life. The anger he had felt against him was dead, it had been pointless from the very beginning.

“Good.”

“It’s a better basis for a marriage.” He looked at the blue sky with a smile, he would miss the overall peace. “There is something we didn’t finish, though.”

“What?”

He hesitated a bit, but after all it had to be done.

“I revealed you a lot about myself yesterday, I wasn’t joking when I said I told you more than I ever I ever told anyone. You didn’t tell me that much, though. I would like to hear your story, about that woman.”

“I don’t really…”

“You owe me some honesty, you’re the one who brought me to your life. I’m happy you want to make things better, and I’m grateful for the deal, but if we want things to actually go well, we can’t keep big secrets. I have none left for you. Is it something you’re afraid I could use against you?”

Dean shook his head. “Not at all. In fact it’s something Justice knows about, it’s not about something I did.”

“It’s something that had been done to you? By that Veronica?”

“To Sam and I.”

He thought of it. Indeed, it’s not as if anyone could really use that story against him, it wouldn’t be dangerous in Castiel’s hands, and maybe he would understand him better. After all, it could be worse a shot. But it felt like…Like he was baring himself, like he was vulnerable…But if there was one person he could be vulnerable with, it was his husband, right?

“I never really wanted to talk about it. We aren’t really about talking and having someone hold our hand. But well, I guess I’ll have to talk to Jessica about it…Maybe it’s better if you’re the first person to hear about it from me.”

He looked at the sea below and started as Castiel was looking down as well, a way to give him a bit of space so he wouldn’t feel observed like a lab rat.

“She was our babysitter. She came when I was nine, our mother was dead already. At first my father and her only had a boss-employee relationship. But she was so supportive to him and us, he started to like her more and more, and so did we. She was slowly becoming part of the family, until…Until my dad discovered what she really was after. Nothing happened between them, but she was flirting a bit after a time, and I think he would have fallen in love with her if he hadn’t discovered she was actually after money and nothing else. Knowing she never loved us was hard, really, but that wasn’t the worse.”

Castiel was listening in silence and Dean felt all of that resurfacing.

“What happened?”

“…She…She wasn’t working alone, the whole family was in this. Their goal wasn’t just to have Veronica seduce my dad and become his new wife to take advantage of his fortune. They wanted to steal his fortune entirely once she would have married him. Basically, she would have became his wife and my father would have had an ‘accident’ after that. Then through a false testament, Sam and I would have been entirely disinherited, and she and her family would have had everything.”

“Hell…A black widow.”

“Her family was involved with the mob, but they had angered another mobster, it’s that one who told my father about her. Since they couldn’t get them arrested because they had no concrete proof they wanted to kill him, they decided to do otherwise: they threatened the family and forced them to sell the restaurant they owned, their only asset. Then he warned her and her family to leave the city and never contact us again. It might sound harsh, but…”

“Not really. She didn’t just defy him, they attempted to kill him and ruin you. Go ahead.”

“Well, they didn’t leave immediately. They…They took us, Sam and I.”

“What?”

“They kidnapped us.”

This made Castiel’s jaw drop. Seriously?! Dean took a deep breath, this would be the first time he would reveal that to anyone.

“We were just playing in a park, I told my dad I could watch Sam on my own, it wasn’t the first time. Then, as we were walking back home, that car stopped at our level, two guys got out and forced us to come inside. I…I didn’t have the time to react, barely had the time to scream, and neither did Sam, no one had the time to do anything, they just took us and drove away.”

He had said that quickly, as if it would have been painful to trail it down. Castiel put a hand on his arm, to encourage him to continue.

“What happened inside that car?”

“I tried to open the door but the men inside showed us their guns and told us not to scream, or he would shoot us. We didn’t know what to do, we did as he ordered, we were scared. Then, they took us to a parking lot and then to some old flat. Veronica was here, and for a moment, I was stupid enough to think, that maybe, just maybe, she would try to help us. For two years, she had been gentle, sweet, she had watched over us. But you should have seen her face! Cold as ice, Sammy called for her, she just told him to shut up and we got locked in a room.”

The memory of that gaunt bedroom still haunted him, the decrepit smell and walls, as if the whole room was sick…

“Their goal was to demand a ransom, I don’t remember how much they asked, but my dad would have had to sell his company to pay.”

“What did he do?”

“The cops knew kids had been kidnapped of course, my father wasn’t supposed to tell them about the ransom thing, but he did otherwise. He was perfectly sure they wouldn’t let us live even if he cooperated. He was right, it was even worse than he thought.”

“What do you mean?”

Dean stopped here. He didn’t feel ready to talk about that at all, no. He didn’t want to tell everything. He could after all omit one part of the story.

“Veronica’s older brother, he had…He was a sicko, and he came into the room after some times, to give us some food. He was one of the guys who kidnapped us, and I didn’t like the way he was holding me in the car, so when he came in I was…I knew something would go wrong.”

Oh God, how was he supposed to speak about it? But just looking in Castiel’s eyes, he knew he had understood. In fact, he had to go to the end of the story, leaving him in the dark at that point would do more bad than good.

“He didn’t just leave the food here, he sat on the bed with us. Then he started to say that we would never see our dad again, that from now on, he would take care of us. He said we would have a lot of fun together. I couldn’t believe it, and Sam started to cry. That’s when the guy started to take him in his arms and…” Oh dear, he could remember the man’s hands on Sam again, how he was hugging him tight while smiling. “He said he wanted to take him to have some ‘private’ time, he told me he would give me some attention too, after. He was talking as if he wanted to comfort us, and when I think of what he wanted to do, it still sickens me!”

His voice was trembling at those words, and this time, Castiel couldn’t even ask him to continue. Dean decided he would omit _that one element_. He didn’t need to know that, not yet. He didn’t know how Castiel would look at him if he knew.

“But I…I got Sam away from his grip, the fact he was struggling like crazy helped, and we ran out of the room. We didn’t make it to the front door, someone was in our way. Before they caught us back, we reached the bathroom, thank god, and we locked ourselves inside. I opened the window and we yelled like crazy for someone to help us.”

He bit his lip: “They forced the door and then they beat us and tried to take us somewhere else. But while they were dragging us out of the flat, we struggled, and the cops arrived. They

had heard us yell like crazy. You can’t imagine how relieved I was, and Sam too.”

“So, you still managed to avoid…”

“Yeah, thank God, that perv’ didn’t manage to do more than that…I was eleven and Sam was seven, if we had been younger, maybe we wouldn’t have been able to defend ourselves.”

A short moment passed, both of them silent. Only the waves could be heard.

“What happened, then?” Cas’ eventually asked.

“Veronica had managed to escape, the others didn’t. Months later, she had been found, dead. She had been strangled, but her body had been in the water, and for too long to allow the police to find any DNA or traces. Her murderer was never found, but she had made numerous enemies apart from my dad and the mobster who helped him. Honestly I would have thanked whoever it was if I had seen them.”

He breathed in deeply, and Castiel didn’t know what to say or do. A lot of horrible thing had happened to him, but not that kind.

“We had seen their faces, we could identify them so they wouldn’t have let us go. They intended to take us and let that pedophile toy with us as long as he pleased. Thank God my father called the cops.”

“And thank God you fought that much.”

This made Dean huff. “I should have reacted when they tried to take us into the car.”

“Dean, they took you by surprise! I don’t think many people would have been able to react in time, even less children! You still managed to stop a child rapist to hurt your brother and alerted people, that’s a lot!”

He wasn’t the first person to tell him that, Sam, his dad, and the shrink he had been sent to also did. Yet he had never been completely convinced of this. Not knowing what else he should say, Cas’ got closer and slowly took him in his arms. This was something Dean probably didn’t expect but he hugged Castiel back eagerly. He had almost expected Castiel to scorn him, but now that he thought about it, it made no sense. _You expected that because you scorn yourself._

“Thanks…”

He released himself from his embrace and Cas’ just asked: “Your father took you to a therapy?”

“He did, but I wasn’t really cooperative, I wouldn’t talk much to the doctor, I wasn’t comfortable with him. I couldn’t trust him. It worked better for Sam.”

“You should talk again with him.”

Trailing his fingers over the wood rail, he looked down at the waves again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't hesitate to review it's always encouraging to read those.


	17. A Little Game

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the time it took, really, now I hope you'll like it, I must say I'm fond of the last part ^^

Being back to New York still felt kind of good, Dean was still happy to go back to his office. Marc and he had communicated over what they would do for the wedding. Of course a wedding planner had been hired, and she had a place rent, a date, and had sent invitations. Dean would have an appointment with her. But for now, he had other things to take care of. 

He was in the Blue Jungle even though it was closed in the morning. After all, he wasn’t here to party, he was here to see Jo. She just made coffee for both of them and they sat on a table. It was strange to see the club quiet, in semi-darkness.

“Why don’t you take coffee in your office? Or at home?”

“I like to take it here, having the whole room for me,” she replied.

“It’s not bad, indeed.”

It was quite early, and Dean had decided to go and see her before going to work. She would always do paperwork early, then rest and go back to work in the evening. It was fine with him, as long as the job was done. But he wasn’t here to talk about the bar, he was here for the plan she had suggested. They had one talk after he returned before she actually started with it, and now she had to report what happened to him.

“So, you managed to approach Miller?”

“Yeah, somehow. I am officially a member of the Church of Hope now. I saw Miller but all he did was greet me among them. It seems like he is very happy to know we’ll meet on a regular basis.”

“I guess so! He always liked women too young for him! But remember: don’t push it too hard at first, just be warm so he’ll come to you.”

“I will, maybe I could pretend I was also fired from a job because I defended ‘moral values’.”

“It could be a good idea! But no improvisation, prepare your story well, otherwise they could see you’re lying.”

“Dean, don’t worry, I’ll be careful. You should have seen me! I was wearing my most prudish clothes and I was putting on my little angel act! All shy and naïve.”

That made him laugh: “I would like to see their faces if they knew you’re dating another woman!”

“Dear God, Mr Winchester! I would never think of doing such a thing!” She protested with a false offended air, forcing herself not to smile. Dean laughed even more at this.

“Okay, you’re good.”

“Thanks. By the way, how did it go with your brother?”

He hesitated. She still didn’t know the truth, and Charlie promised not to tell her. “We argued a bit, but it was still good. And it was good to see Jessica, and have some closure with her. It was weird to see her belly and think I’ll be an uncle soon.”

“No wonder! Wish I had a brother or a sister and be an aunt. But well, that’s life.”

“And your mom? Did she receive the invitation to the wedding?”

“Yeah, don’t worry. It’s funny, I’ll be the only one of your friends to come on Castiel’s side. That’s nice of you to have suggested that.”

Well, that was the least he could do. He knew Castiel would have no family, but at least Ellen and Jo could come as his guests’, not as Dean’s. His fiancée still had more people to invite, he didn’t know all of them, he knew Anna would be here.

He discussed a bit more with Jo and eventually left for work. On the way, he thought of Sam, he didn’t really know at which point their relationship was, but he felt like maybe Sam would forgive him. He would never be the same in his brother’s eyes, he knew it. But maybe he could redeem himself. At least he didn’t regret visiting him one last time as Castiel suggested.

_The wind was strong, today, there weren’t so many people on the beach, and Dean and Sam_

_Sam looked at his brother, seeing how miserable he was. “Dean, I wasn’t running away from you. It’s that life I was running away from. And from Dad.”_

_“You hate him that much?”_

_“It’s not that, but I was angry at him and I didn’t want to live like him. When he told me to break up with Jess, I knew I had to make a choice. I could either live happily and plainly, or live rich but bitter.”_

_Sighing, Dean felt like he had been punched in the guts, because Sam actually described his life. For Christ’s sake, he had to literally force someone to marry him! He felt ashamed before his little brother._

_“I’m sorry I didn’t visit when you phoned about Jess. But seeing you again, to know that we would just split once more, it was too hard. And I wasn’t sure you would answer.”_

_“It was hard for me too. Do you seriously imagine I didn’t miss you? And do you think I forgot that you saved both of us?”_

_“I’m the one who put us in danger, remember?”_

_“What do you mean?”_

_“I’m the one who told Dad I could watch over you at the park, I should have been more careful. If I hadn’t taken you out like this, they wouldn’t have got us. And I should have reacted sooner when they snatched us.”_

_“Dean, that wasn’t your fault! They were too fast for us. And anyway they wanted to kidnap us, they would have done it one moment or another. And in the end, we still got out together, it’s all that matters.”_

Yeah…Maybe Sam was right. He felt the need to call Castiel right now, he didn’t know why, but he just wanted to talk to him, even if it was only small talk. But well, maybe he was busy, and he had too much work for now

Castiel was indeed busy, not only because he had to take care of Claire but because he had some people to see, and he would also have an appointment for his wedding outfit. He had planned to visit Anna, Lexie and Zack, the latters would come of course, even though they weren’t really enthusiastic to see Dean again, as they both told him on the phone, but Castiel still wanted them to come. But first, he would visit Reverend Lowry, not only to reassure him on how and Claire were doing but also because he wanted to ask him something. Right now he was sitting in the old man’s living room, Claire playing around them. The Reverend had prepared some tea and it did feel soothing to be with him

“I’m curious to meet your future husband,” the reverend told him. “It’s good if things got better between the two of you. I can tell you now, I was worried, even if I tried not to show it much.”

“Yeah, I know. I guess I can thank Sam Winchester for that.”

“Not only. You did well too, you weren’t in an easy situation, and you handled it greatly.”

“Thank you,” Castiel replied with emotion. “I know it’s weird, but I’m starting to get a bit attached to him.”

“You shared a lot, you opened up to each other, it’s only human to create a bond.”

“Sure, I got that, but when I think of what happens, I don’t want to forgive him right away.”

“You don’t need to, feeling closer to him doesn’t mean you can’t be angry at him or have no grudge. Whatever happens, don’t force yourself, especially when you don’t have to.”

Castiel nodded, checking out that Claire wasn’t listening to them. She would have been too young to understand anyway, but he still didn’t want her to feel confused. Lowry took another sip of tea and smiled.

“You know, I never went on the West Coast. It will definitely be something, it must be beautiful.”

“Oh, it is! I really liked it. By the way, there is something I wanted to ask you…As you probably guessed, my father isn’t invited.”

“I imagine! I didn’t tell you, but he visited me a few days ago. You were still in California and I didn’t want to worry you.”

This made Castiel’s breath itch. “Seriously?!”

The reverend nodded. “He accused me of being the one who put you on the wrong path, he told me I wasn’t a man of God, that I should be banned from the Church. Thank God some people and I managed to get him to leave.”

“I’m so sorry!”

“Don’t be. I wouldn’t change a thing. I told he wasn’t worthy of being a father, or a Christian.”

“Really?!” This time Castiel was smiling.

“Oh yeah. It’s over those years I would shut up and play low because I feared he would hurt you. You’re a man now, and you don’t fear him anymore.”

“No…And I’m currently living with someone who won’t fear him either. You should have seen how Dean kicked him out of the house!”

Lowry laughed at this. Castiel had told him about it already and he had been glad to hear it. He sighed.

“It doesn’t matter what he say. Anyway, what is it you wanted to ask me?”

“Well, since I won’t have my father, I would like to know if you’d like to take his place.”

“You mean taking you to the altar?”

“Yes.”

The old man smiled at this, his eyes growing a bit watery. “Of course I will.”

Castiel didn’t know what to answer, he was just really happy. Reverend Lowry didn’t know what to say either, he never had any children and he wasn’t expecting someone to ever ask him that. He had celebrated many marriages but never had taken anyone to an altar.

“I’d better get ready for it and have the best clothes I can.”

It made Castiel huff. He didn’t stay for too long after that, his next visit was to Anna. She listened with attention when he told her what happened in California, and was pretty satisfied when he told her what happened once Sam discovered.

“I already like his brother! I’m looking forward to meet him at your wedding. Too bad he is married.”

“And happily married.”

“I also want to meet his wife, someone who manages to convince a guy like Dean Winchester to follow a therapy must be worth the encounter.”

This truly made both of them laugh. It was true indeed, and Castiel was also impatient to see Sam and Jess again. He would have to text them, to assure them everything was fine for now. Anna put a strand of hair back between her ear.

“He really told you divorcing him was possible?”

“Yes, and he will pay for Claire’s studies even if we part.”

“I guess he is trying to mend. That’s the least he can do, if you ask me.”

“He does need to make it up to me, I won’t disagree with you. But well, I will try to keep it smooth still, I don’t want a bad atmosphere for my daughter. I’m happy that she enjoys that new life.”

“And for yourself?”

“Well, I don’t know. If things continue like this, I’ll be fine living with him, I must say since he started to change his behavior, he did become more likeable. I think it was since that night, when I forced him to sleep in my house, in the guest room.”

Anna smiled at this. “I imagine he wasn’t thrilled!”

“Oh no. But I think it’s at that moment I started to realize I was really not in danger.”

Well, not exactly, while he started to far him less and less after that, it was especially after Dean gave him the knife, telling him to keep that as long as he didn’t trust him. Castiel still had it, but he knew he wouldn’t have to use it against his future husband. He wouldn’t give it back for now, though; a knife could be useful and anyway he still wanted Dean to make amend. But honestly, the blade wasn’t just a tool for safety anymore now.

“It’s good that he will follow a therapy.”

“Yes. And Jessica also suggested I should follow one, but I’m not sure it’s a good idea.”

“I don’t know, but it could be good. You went through something pretty… uncommon after all!”

He bit his lip. Anna didn’t know that much about his past, he didn’t know why the idea of going to a shrink made him uneasy. But well, he could consider it.

“Well, anyway my appointment will come soon. Are you still coming with me?”

“Damn right, but I’m not an expert when it comes to men’s clothes.”

But he was pretty sure Anna would have better tastes than him. The wedding planner had given him an appointment in a shop, it wasn’t very big but it was obvious that they would only sell the best. Both Anna and Claire looked at the wedding dresses exposed with stars in their eyes. And both adults had to stop the child from touching every dress possible.

“Oh, I wish I was the one getting married just to try one of those. But then, I probably could never afford it.”

This made him laugh again, and someone came toward him, a tall man with impeccable clothing.

“Hello, I guess you’re Castiel Novak.”

“I am, glad to meet you,” he replied awkwardly.

“We’ll start right away, I can make you look at some models, unless you already have an idea of what you want.”

“Not really. I don’t think I would like a white suit.”

“No, black would flatter you much more,” Anna intervened, holding Claire who just tried to hide under a long dress.

“Yeah, that would be better.”

Although the man was polite, Castiel was very nervous, it was one of those moments he realized he would be married, and it wouldn’t be an average wedding, the press would actually talk about it. His measurements were taken, he tried some outfits and set his choice on a Italian black Tuxedo, and the tailor promised it would be ready as soon as possible.

“We know your wedding will be set soon, so we will adapt it to your measurement quickly.”

He just nodded and looked at his daughter who seemed very curious to see her dad trying out clothes. Then her turn came and she was thrilled when she was actually allowed to touch and even wear little dresses. Choosing something for her wasn’t really difficult; she ended up with a little white dress with light green adornments. She cried when she had to take off the dress because they still had to give it a few alterations to fit her. 

Although it had been a good day, he was happy to be home. The evening was quite relaxed, both of them were a bit tired, but Dean was happy that Castiel already went to fix his outfit, kinda curious to know what he had chosen. Seeing that Claire wasn’t too tired yet, Castiel allowed her to stay up a bit more. 

She was caressing the dogs, and she suddenly spotted their toy and went toward it. As soon as the dogs saw her taking it, they ran to her in excitation and expectation and the child was just puzzled, not knowing what she should do. Dean went at her side and showed her how to play with them with their toys. She was still clumsy with them, and though they were gentle dogs, he didn’t want to take risks. When he threw the toy, she gave him a big smile, laughing as she saw them running after it.

“Look, dad!” She happily cried out. Her father was watching indeed.

“Throw it as far as you can!” Dean instructed her as Sasquatch brought the toy back before Jasper could. She threw it, even though it hardly landed far, both dogs tried to grab it, this time Jasper was victorious. She had a huge smile.

“Your turn,” she told Dean.

“Yes, Miss.”

Castiel observed the whole scene, it was true Dean wasn’t bad with children, but now he had taken care of his little brother. He eventually put her to bed when she showed signs of exhaustion. By the time he came, he understood Dean was taking a shower. The man eventually came back, in plain clothes, his hair wet. It kinda reminded Cas’ of the time at the beach and in that quiet atmosphere, without any child, he felt some kind of warmth. Even the dogs were sleeping in their corner, they were really on their own.

“She really likes them,” Castiel commented while looking at the sleeping pitbulls.

“You’re not afraid anymore,” Dean pointed out.

He remembered the first time Castiel had been in his home. Even though he didn’t want to show it, he had been scared, both by the dogs and well, everything else.

“Of them? No, I might have been prejudiced against pitbulls. I don’t like to admit it, but you were right.”

“Hey, it can happen sometimes!”

“I guess everything can happen indeed,” Castiel said with a bit of malice.

Dean sat on the couch, extending his arms over it. It had been a busy day, it wouldn’t feel bad to rest a bit. He wouldn’t answer that, after all he wasn’t in the mood for some taunting. He just breathed in deeply, listing what he would have to do tomorrow. It would always help for the next day. Castiel was reading, while Dean turned on TV, they just stayed comfortably silent for a while like that. He eventually turned it off, a bit bored by it and looked at Castiel who was wearing his jeans jacket. One thing came back in his mind.

“You still intend to work in the garden?”

“In memory of your mother, I won’t,” he replied, looking up from his book.

“So you do care?”

“In case you didn’t pick it up yet, I’m a reasonable guy. If you order me something or throw a fit of authority, I won’t take it. However, if you _ask_ me not to do something for a good reason, I’ll listen.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. Sometimes, I think you’re more a pitbull than they are,” he showed his sleeping dogs with a slight nod. Castiel just smiled at this. “But well, some people could say a pitbull is a good fit for a shark,” Dean concluded.

“Oh, I forgot, this is the dangerous Dean Winchester I’m talking to,” Cas’ murmured putting the book down.

Dean frowned, he didn’t know what to think of Castiel’s little grin. He titled his head and smiled with a bit of smugness. Well, he didn’t want an argument, but a little game wouldn’t feel bad.

“Well, yes. I might have shown you some of my softer side, don’t think I’m not a shark anymore. I’m still Dean Winchester.”

“Big and kickass?”

“All of that,” Dean said, in a nonchalant stance.

Cas’ slowly took off his jean jacket while standing up, letting it trail down slowly from his shoulder and letting it fall on the armchair. Dean couldn’t help feel a bit dizzy at this. Cas’ slowly walked to sit at his side, not close enough to touch, though. It became quite clear what he was doing, and Dean knew how to play that game.

“Do you need a proof of it?” Dean asked in a sultry voice.

“Oh, I wouldn’t doubt a man like you! There is something I would like to know, though: if you had been able to approach me the first time you saw me, what would you have done?” Castiel asked, lowering his head slightly, his expressive blue eyes over Dean.

“Well, I tend to think a demonstration is worthier than a thousand words.”

Releasing a slight huff, Castiel lowered his eyes for a second, giving away a little hint he was taken off balance.

“I’m an English Teacher, remember? I do enjoy words, those can have a power a shark like you shouldn’t underestimate.”

With a wicked little smile, Dean trailed his fingers on the couch, close to Cas’, without reaching him, though.

“Fine. I think I would have approached you,” he leaned slightly closer, and their knees brushed. “I would have started dancing with you, making eye contact, just like you’re doing right now…Then, I would have started touching you, nothing much, small and brief. I would have slowly increased it, maybe made small talk, and…well…How would you have reacted? It’s important after all, to be attentive to the reactions you get.”

“Well, if I didn’t have prejudices against you…I must admit I could have been enticed. Maybe I would have danced along and engaged in a small talk too. Maybe I would have asked you to go in a quieter place after dancing a bit. But just for a drink.”

“Then I would have accepted and bought you a drink. I would have continued with some touches, I would have continued to make eye contact, ‘cause you got some goddamn eyes.”

“Really?”

“Trust me, those can drive someone mad. It’s not just the shape or the color, those are so expressive, when I saw you for the first time in the sunlight it just struck me…”

Castiel didn’t know what to answer to that. He took the time to look at Dean’s face, just like that time at the sea, he just contemplated the man’s feature. Clive, his only boyfriend, had been good-looking, but he couldn’t compare to Dean. But more of all, he had never said such things to him. In fact, no one had ever complimented him like this. He had heard, handsome, hot or sexy, but not something which sounded like this. In fact, it wasn’t the first time Dean told him something like this.

And now, he didn’t really know what to say. Dean shifted a bit closer.

“And then I would have suggested to go home. What do you think would have happened, then?”

Castiel lowered his eyes once again but came closer. He had been able to tell Dean off, to threaten him, to remind him he wouldn’t obey, but answering this question was tougher than expected. He gathered all his boldness.

“Well, I guess I would have discovered whether you like sweet or rough…” They were so close Dean started to lean for a kiss, but Castiel backed away, his cheeks growing warm. “For now, I think I’d better get to bed now. It’s better if I sleep alone.”

“As you wish,” Dean uttered though gritted teeth. God, the guy was such a tease! Or maybe he was hesitant? He wasn’t sure. But he thought of this conversation again and again when he was alone in bed. It was frustrating to be alone, but he was also satisfied. Even though Cas’ had tried to hide the blush, Dean had seen it.

In the morning, and in spite of his frustration, Dean couldn’t help but smile when he saw Castiel and more of all when he saw the slight twinge of shyness in him. He wasn’t shy often, after all, so it did mean something.

“You know, I was thinking of last evening’s conversation.”

“So?” Castiel asked with a twinge of embarrassment, considering his daughter was right next to him. Dean smiled as his cheeks got a bit flushed.

“Yeah, we were talking about the garden at one point. Do it.”

Castiel was surprised and gave him a quizzical look. Dean just shrugged innocently, teasing him but being also very serious.

“Continue to work in here if you want. Claire seems to like it, and my mother would have wanted her to enjoy it. I guess she would have wanted you to enjoy it as well.”

“You sure?”

“Of course. I wouldn’t tell you, otherwise. Remember: I’m the confident Dean Winchester, and I speak my mind. However don’t spend too much time in it.”

“Why?”

“’Cause we have a wedding to prepare.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to comment!

**Author's Note:**

> Cas isn't done offending Dean, far from it! Don't hesitate to comment!


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